Wuji: A Promise Kept

8

Wei Wuxian was struggling. He hated taking medicine of any kind. A lot of the herbs and tonics he takes makes him feel drowsy and fatigued. It causes him to feel vulnerable and let his guard down. He felt more susceptible to being attacked and he hated letting his guard down whatsoever. Right now, he was very tired from the pain tonic they had him on. He just felt terrible being lazy and laying around all day.

Wei Wuxian's mind was very complex and it worked in its own chaotic way. A lot of times, he had several different thoughts running through his head at once, but he could never narrow them down to one at a time. He always wanted to be working, whether it was training disciples in archery or helping them with their swordsmanship, or maybe even going as far as inventing new charms and talismans as he could then focus on one thing and let his mind calm down for a moment.

Lan Wangj was only now starting to understand that. He noticed anytime Wuxian was fighting with the drowsiness of the medicine, resentful energy would create a barrier around him to keep others away from him. It was his only way he felt a little safe. Though, the problem with letting the resentful energy protect him, the more susceptible to having nightmares or even night terrors. Luckily, the resentful energy hated Wangji's aura and Wangji was the only one that could get close to Wuxian safely.

So at the moment, Wuxian had been refusing his treatments. He couldn't do it, "I don't like feeling like that," Wuxian argued.

"Wei Ying, you are safe here and you do not have to worry about anything happening to you," Wangji assured him, "You don't have to be strong every second of the day. I will protect you if you feel unsafe. I will stay beside you. I do not have any duties to attend to right now. Xiongzhang is the Chief Cultivator role and is going well. I do run the sect a little bit more to help him out but you still come before the sect."

"Lan Zhan, I am used to this kind of pain. I am also used to not seeking treatment. I also do not like seeking treatment as it is. The medicine that I end up taking causes me to become more vulnerable and I do not like it when I cannot control my brain," Wuxian explained.

"Do you know why that is?" Wangji asked. Wuxian shook his head so Wangji spoke again, "you do not like it when you are not in control. You were always in situations where you could not let your guard down. You do not have to worry about that anymore. I want to help you through this. If you do not take the medicine, I will give you spiritual energy transfers twice a day. The spiritual energy I give you will help keep the pain down."

"You can't do that, you will drain yourself," Wuxian said, "then I'd feel even worse."

"Why? Spiritual energy replenishes with meditation. The cold spring helps me with gaining it back faster. I just need to meditate like I normally do anyway. If you do not take the medication then it will be my energy, so you choose," Wangji told him.

Wuxian sighed, "I do not want you wasting your energy on me so I will just take the damn medicine," he said.

"Wei Ying, you are my soulmate and will become my cultivation partner and soul bond soon. Sharing energy with you is normal between cultivation partners," Wangji explained, "especially when dual cultivation is involved as it is the best way to share energy."

This happens to be another occasion where Wuxian has heard Wangji talk about dual cultivation with him. Wuxian then began to wonder just how badly Wangji wanted to sleep with him, "Lan Zhan, do you want to sleep with me that bad?" Wuxian teased.

"Ridiculous," Wangji said as he got Wuxian's tonic and brought it over to him, "now drink."

"Oh, now you do not want to be open and honest with me?" Wuxian asked as he took the cup from him, "if you want to have sex with me, all you have to do is ask, "Lan Wangji stared at Wei Wuxian for a good minute as he honestly didn't know how to respond, "what do you not want to?"

"Wei Ying, I love you and I always will," Wangji said sitting back down beside him, "we will get there. I want to but you and I are also not ready for that next step yet. If it's okay, I'd like to marry you first."

Wuxian drank the tonic this time as he didn't want to keep arguing about this with him, "we will marry, but I just need time to adjust. I am just now accepted into this sect and I already fear that I won't be here long. I always feel like I should never get comfortable wherever I stay as I will eventually lose it anyway. I want to love you and live here with you and call this place home, but home is such a foreign word for me as every place I have lived at was never considered home. I once called Lotus Pier my home but I lost that. I then ended up having to call the Burial Mounds my home but I lost that too. I already know that as much as I want to call this place home, it never will be," Wuxian explained.

"If you are feeling this way, it is our job to help make sure you are comfortable enough to call this place home. But also remember this. Home does not necessarily have to be a location or a roof over your head. Home can be a person's arms, their heart. You are my home and I will be yours," Wangji assured him, "I promise you, I will do everything I can to help you feel more comfortable and secure here."

"Lan Zhan, you are honestly the only person who I can call mine. You have been there for me when no one else has. I have wanted for so long to just be able to say that I'm yours and you are mine. I don't want to lose you. I have lost so much already and I do not think I can handle it if I suddenly lost you."

"You will not lose me. I will always remain by your side, and if I somehow get separated from you it will not be of my own choosing," Wangji said and removed his forehead ribbon, "so you will always know that you have me, I want you to hold onto this."

Wuxian watched as Wangji tied the ribbon around his left wrist, "wouldn't you need to wear it though?" Wuxian asked.

"I have a couple spares," Wangji said as he pulled a ribbon out from his nightstand and put it on, "the one you have is my main ribbon. It is now yours, okay."

Wuxian nodded and let out a yawn, "I am now tired...can you stay?" Wuxian asked.

"Mnn," Wangji nodded and laid beside him before pulling him close and snuggled with him, "I am here, and I will still be here when you wake up."

"Thank you," Wuxian said.

"No need to thank me, Love," Wangji said, "how about you say you love me instead."

"I love you, so much," Wuxian said as a smile formed on his face.

"And I love you," Wangji said as he helped Wuxian relax more and comfort him as he slept.