Neighbors (Spencer Reid x Reader)

Twenty Nine

Spencer couldn't handle it. He got in the shower and started crying. Seeing all the grime being washed down the drain and wishing it would take the memories with it. Y/N looked concerned when she walked into the bathroom. He had a clear shower curtain, so he was on full display. "Are you okay?" She asked.

"No."

Without speaking, Y/N set the clothes she was holding on the sink. He watched, eyes full of tears, as she removed her clothes and pulled back the curtain so she could join him. Her eyes never once strayed from his face as she did so. "Y/N-" She shook her head and grabbed his shampoo. "You always help me. Let me return the favor," she whispered, gently pulling his head down. He stood there, eyes closed, head down like a sad dog, letting her carefully massage the shampoo into his hair. When she was done, she guided him back under the water to wash it out. She didn't once comment about any of the cuts or bruises that he was sure covered his body. The entire time she washed his body he watched, silently thanking her over and over in his head. She was methodical, washing his body like he was a patient and she was his nurse.

"I need you to switch spots with me so I can shower now," Y/N said softly. Spencer nodded, letting her hold his waist and turn him around. He watched her wash herself, memorizing every detail he could. He knew he loved her, body and soul. But he could barely speak to tell her that, and it pained him. He just wanted to tell her how she was his everything. Once she finished, Y/N turned off the water and handed him a towel. Spencer wrapped it around his waist after drying his hair. "Y/N..." She looked at him, eyes soft. "I know." Somehow, she understood. He could see it in her face; she knew what he was thinking. He nodded, then stared at the pile of clothes. The thought of putting anything on made him want to drop to the floor and never get up. The only thing he wanted to do was sleep. "What's wrong?"

"Bed." It came out like a plea. Like it took the last of his willpower to say it. Y/N nodded. "You go to bed. I'll put the clothes back in your dresser." Spencer felt bad, needing to be taken care of like this. He didn't know how Y/N could handle it. "I love you," he whispered when she crawled into bed with him. He was facing away from her so she couldn't see he was crying again. An arm snaked its way over his side, and he felt her kiss the back of his neck softly. "I love you too."

Of course, he was scared to sleep. But he knew Y/N would want him to try. So he did that, he tried. No matter how he positioned himself, he couldn't do it. Eventually, around three, he gave up. Spencer carefully got out of bed and got dressed. As he was leaving the room, she groaned softly. "Spence? You okay?" His heart screamed at him to say yes and get back in bed. To hold her and just pretend to sleep. "I can't sleep. I was going to go for a walk." She sat up and turned the lamp on, blanket wrapped around her shoulders. ""Do you want company, or is it one of those walks that you need to be alone for?" He wanted to tell her to come but was afraid he'd cry again. "You can stay here. Don't worry, I'll be careful. Just going to sit at the park and breathe."

"Call if you need me."

She was so understanding. It was his favorite thing about her. She never argued when he said he needed something, just nodded and let him know she'd be there when he returned. When he got to the park, he sat down on a bench and looked at the sky, cursing the light pollution. Silently letting tears fall. Ignoring the memories of his time in captivity. After about an hour, he heard footsteps and looked around. "Hey, Spence. I was worried about you." Y/N sat next to him and grabbed his hand. "I'm not going to force you to talk. But I'm here if you need to say anything."