Smoke Signals

4 ⚠️

⚠️ ABUSE ⚠️

We had just finished the case and were celebrating in the office. It was getting late enough that the only people left were Morgan, JJ and I. Morgan smirked at me when JJ wasn't looking and picked up his bag. "You're leaving?" I asked him. JJ turned around and looked between us.

"I'm getting tired. You two have fun though." He waved goodbye and JJ and I waved back.

I saw JJ turn to me out of the corner of my eye. "Do you wanna go home or stay here?"

"Here is fine." She smiled.

"Wanna go to my office?" I nodded and followed her up. We sat down on her couch and I looked around awkwardly. I had only been in here once. "Make yourself comfortable. I don't bite." I smiled and leaned against the back of the sofa, moving a bit closer to her subtly. "Are you cold?" She asked me.

"A bit." She reached under the sofa and pulled out a blanket, draping it over me. "Thank you."

"No problem." I rubbed my left eye, the vision becoming a bit blurry. It only happened once every couple weeks and it was easily fixable. I just rubbed it. "Does it hurt?" She asked me.

"No. Just gets blurry sometimes." She nodded. I sensed the awkward silence coming so I blurted something out to keep the conversation going. "I'm going to tell you something but don't tell anyone this."

"Ok." She nodded.

"So...my eye." I said pointing to it and turning to her. "It happened when I was 9...my dad had a ring on...and he punched me." I hesitated a bit but I didn't realize it would be that easy to say. "I was bleeding right next to me eye, and some of the nerves got damaged so now my eyelid droops."

"He hit you?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

"That wasn't the only time was it?"

"No." I shook my head sadly. "But it's ok."

"No...no Blair it's not." She put her hand on my forearm and I stared at it.

"Look...I know that it's wrong. And that I'm technically a victim. But I've gotten past it." That was a lie. I hadn't gotten past it. I don't think I ever will. "I don't need a big speech, ok?" She nodded and squeezed my forearm. "I don't want you to look at me differently." I said in a small voice.

"Why would I look at you differently?"

"Because you know a bit about my childhood...and that it wasn't good."

"I'm not going to look at you differently."

"Don't feel sorry for me." I added. "I don't want sympathy." I yawned. "I've never told anyone that. That's kind of funny isn't it? I've known you for what, two months?"

"I'm glad you trust me."

"Yeah."

"Are you getting tired?"

"A bit, yeah."

"Are you gonna make be able to make it home?"

"Probably not. Thanks for asking."

"You can sleep in here. The couch pulls out and I've got pillows-"

"JJ-"

"I insist. You're my friend." I opened my mouth to protest but quickly shut it.

"Ok." She stood up and pulled out the other half of the couch. She got the pillows and threw them on the edge of the couch. "Where are you gonna sleep?"

"Well...I'm not leaving you alone in here, so on the floor."

"That can't be comfortable. Have the couch." I sat up.

"No. You have the couch."

"This might sound completely dumb. And you can say no. But...what if we both sleep on the couch? We both want the other one to sleep on the couch and we're probably going to keep fighting about it and I don't sleep well by myself." She raised her brows.

"Wow. Real slick Blair."

"I wasn't-"

"I know. I was joking." She slid onto the couch next to me. "So I'm assuming that what you mean by you don't sleep well by yourself is that you're also expecting some form of cuddling."

"No that's not what I meant...well yeah but I don't want you to be uncomfortable-"

"Come here." She patted her chest.

"Are you sure?"

"Why wouldn't I be sure?" I lifted my head up and put it on her chest, letting out a soft sigh when I heard her heart thumping against her chest. She grabbed my wrist gently and I pulled it back. "Sorry." I draped my arm over her waist and put my arm under the blanket so she couldn't grab my wrist. "Are you ok?" I gave her a small nod and fell asleep in no time.

I woke up when I felt someone poking my shoulder. "We gotta wake up work starts in an hour." I groaned and pulled the blanket up over my head. She pushed it back down and started to get off the couch. It wasn't like I meant to, but my grip on her waist tightened and I pulled her back into me. I tensed up a bit when I realized what I had done. "Blair."

"Sorry."

"Don't be sorry...just...are you ok?"

"I'm fine...why?" I flexed my hand and the way her hand touched my shoulder made me realize that she noticed.

"No reason." She knew. She didn't know exactly what but she knew that there was something I was holding back. I rolled off of her and sighed.

"I need clothes."

"Don't worry. I got you." She opened her drawer and pulled out a blouse and some slacks.

"Thank you." I said, taking the clothes. She sat down at her chair and I looked around awkwardly.

"What?"

"Can you uh...turn around please?"

"Oh. Sorry." She turned around and I hesitantly took my shirt off, putting my other shirt on as quickly as possible so there wasn't a chance that she could see my scars, on my wrists and my stomach.

When I was fully dressed I told her she could turn back around. "It looks good on you."

"You think?" I said with a smile, looking down at myself. She nodded and I couldn't help but blush, I didn't make any effort to hide it. "I uh...I slept really well last night. Thank you."

"Anytime." I nodded but inside I was screaming. Anytime? Anytime! What the fuck was that supposed to mean. "Blair. I kinda lost you there."

"Oh. Sorry, just tired."

"I understand."

I was definitely going to take her up on that anytime sometime soon.