Smoke Signals

5 ⚠️

⚠️ ABUSE ⚠️

I sat in the conference room while JJ interviewed the unsub. It was her first time doing it and I wanted to be there but I didn't interview anyone who abused people. Hotch knew that. He never asked why, just knew that it was my one condition.

Thinking about the unsub made me realize how desperately I needed comfort, which made me think about when JJ let me cuddle up to her a little bit. That was two weeks ago. We hadn't done it again since. "Hey." I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard JJ's voice.

"Hi." She sat down next to me.

"I wanted to check up on you. I really don't mean to overstep but you said I was the only person you told and I really, really care about you." My heart swelled at her words. "Sorry for rambling just...how are you doing?"

"Honestly?"

"Honest. No sugarcoating please." I rubbed my left eye as it started to get blurry.

"I'm doing pretty bad." I didn't know how I expected her to answer. I guess just a simple pat on the shoulder would be fine...but it was JJ. Of course she had to do more.

"Do you wanna go back to the hotel?"

"Is that allowed?"

"I asked Hotch before I came in here. He said it was fine." I nodded.

"Sure."

We walked back to the hotel and I looked up at the sign. Holiday Inn. I jogged a bit to catch up when I saw that she didn't stop walking.

We rode the elevator in silence and I sat down on the foot of her bed. "Make yourself comfortable." I lied down on my back and stared up at the ceiling. "Do you need anything? I have shitty hotel coffee."

"No. I'm fine."

"Ok." She lied down next to me. "The ceiling is really fascinating isn't it?" I laughed softly.

"A little bit."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Blair. You know that's not true."

"It's kinda funny. I've only known you for two and a half months but I've told you things I've never told anyone before." I turned my head to look at her. "And I keep feeling like I need to tell you everything else. But I don't want to."

"It's good to talk about it."

"I...never mind."

"Hey, I'll listen. I'm a good listener." She turned on her stomach and looked at me. When I didn't answer she reached for my hand. She laced our fingers together. It was perfect. Just like when we shook hands but better. I focused on the feeling of her hand in mine and took a deep breath. "Blair?"

"Shh."

"Sorry." She whispered. "Are you ok? You look like you're about to cry."

"I don't cry."

"Everyone cries."

"I don't cry."

"Ok...you don't cry." She squeezed my hand and was about to let go but I didn't let her.

"Please stay."

"I'm not going anywhere. I promise." I turned on my side to face her. "I swear to God if you ask me why I'm so nice to you-"

"No. I...why do you treat me like this but no one else on the team?" Her face flushed.

"I uh...you're my favorite?" It came out as a question.

"You're my favorite too."

"Really?" She smiled and I nodded. Our faces were inches away from each other and my eyes flickered down to her lips and then back up to her eyes. My breath hitched and I pulled away from her. "Blair-"

"You didn't do anything." I assured her, sitting up against the headboard. She looked up at me with a worried look on her face.

"Hey. You're hiding from me. Why are you hiding?"

"I'm not hiding. I'm right here."

"You know what I mean."

"JJ-"

"Talk to me. Please Blair. I hate seeing you like this." She moved up in front of me and sat between my legs.

"Can you give me a bit of space? You're confusing me." Shit. I said that out loud. She backed away to the foot of the bed

"Like this?" I shrugged. "What do you mean I'm confusing you?"

"Nothing. It doesn't matter." She stayed quiet and I looked back up at her. She looked a little hurt. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok."

"It'd be really nice to live here."

"At the Holiday Inn?"

"It'd be nice to have somebody else make the bed."

"That...that makes sense." She looked a bit sad. I could tell that she was figuring me out. Everyday it was like she knew me more and more and it didn't really terrify me like it used to. I just didn't want to get my hopes up for something that would never happen, but I also didn't wanna lose the one person who was here for me. "Do you want to sleep?"

"Sleep would be great." She got back up next to me and I furrowed my brows.

"Come on." She patted her chest again and I rested my head on it, not hesitating to wrap my arm around her waist this time. "I'll wake you up in a couple hours, ok?" I nodded.

"JJ." I mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me. Something tells me this won't be the last time." I smiled. "Am I right?"

"I hope so."