Smoke Signals

7 ⚠️

⚠️ SELF HARM AND PAST SUICIDE ATTEMPT ⚠️

I sat in the interrogation room with our suspect, listening to him drone on and on about God knows what. "I mean, these women were practically asking for it. Living in a beat up sedan in a bad neighborhood. You can't blame someone for finding them as easy prey." I stayed quiet, hoping maybe he would say something that we could use against him. His lips curled up in a smile. "Shit, you don't look happy. Let me guess, you lived in a sedan too."

"Yes I did."

"Goes with your look. What are you? Half blind?" He asked, gesturing towards my eye. "How did the FBI let a disabled person on their team?"

"I'm not disabled."

"Only disabled people live in sedans." He leaned back and crossed his arms. "Druggies. You don't do drugs. I can tell. But you're addicted to something." He smiled again. "I used to be an addict. I can always tell."

"Used to be?"

"Hell yeah. Let me ask you something. Have you ever wanted to die?"

"Yes."

"Have you ever tried?"

"This isn't relevant-"

"Have you tried to kill yourself?" He asked, looking desperate like my answer meant everything to him.

"Yes I have." I was well aware that everyone outside of the room could hear me. But I could deal with that later.

"Well, I hope whoever killed all those women kills you next. You certainly seem like his type." I stood up and walked out of the room, brushing past everyone to get to the bathroom. I slammed the door behind me and locked it.

"Blair, it's JJ." She knocked on the door.

"Nope. I'm not doing this right now."

"Please." I unlocked the door and clenched my jaw. She shut the door behind her. "You never told me you tried to kill yourself." She said sadly. "I...I really thought you felt like you could tell me things."

"I do, it's just not the easiest thing to tell people." She sighed. I felt calm talking to her about this stuff, like it was alright with her. She wouldn't judge. "I uh...I actually do need to tell you something." I played with the hems of my sleeves and brought them up a bit. My bandage wasn't there anymore so the scars were on full display. "It wasn't an accident." She looked down at my left wrist and gasped softly.

"Blair...Blair why would you do that to yourself?" Her hand reached up to touch my face and she frowned. "Blair I..."

"You're the only person I've told." She smiled softly and her eyes flickered down to my lips. I leaned in a bit. Was it wrong for us to kiss in this situation? It didn't matter, right? As long as there was a second time.

I was brought out of my thoughts with the feeling of JJ kissing my lips softly. It took me no time to melt into the kiss. It just felt so right. She pulled away after a few seconds and looked at me with a nervous look. "Can you...can you do that again?" I whispered. She smiled and connected our lips again. I parted my mouth and she slid her tongue in. Damn, she was wasting no time. She cupped my face in her hands and kept the kiss soft and caring. My hands rested on her waist and I tried not to moan into her mouth, that would be embarrassing.

We only pulled away when we needed air. "That was...wow." I told her. "I-"

"We still need to talk about it though, ok?"

"Kiss, again? Please?" I needed the feeling of her lips on mine like I needed air. She smiled and kissed me again, it was a soft but powerful kiss. "How are you so good at that?"

"So you really like it huh?"

"Yes." I wasn't even going to sugarcoat it at all. "I really like you." I whispered and she blushed.

"For what it's worth, I really like you too." I kissed her again and then rested my forehead against hers. She reached for my hand and laced our fingers together. "You don't know how long I've been waiting to do that."

"Three and a half months?"

"About, yeah."

"Geez, we could've done that sooner." I pulled my face away and stared down at her lips.

"Blair-"

"Yeah. I know. We need to talk about it. I'll just...I'll show you when we get back to D.C., ok?" She nodded.

"Ok."