Smoke Signals

15

I handed Hotch my files once I finished them, finally catching up on what I missed when I took my week off. It had taken me the entire work day to get them done. "Thank you Blair." He said sincerely.

"Of course. It's my job." I turned on my heel and watched as JJ walked by quickly, looking like she was hiding her face. I quickly walked after her and was able to sneak into her office just before she closed the door. "Hey." I said softly, my heart breaking when I saw tears running down her cheeks. "What's wrong?" I cupped her face in my hands and wiped the tears off of her face.

"You didn't have to come in here, I'm fine." I frowned.

"I just wanted to check up on my one and only snuggle buddy." I said, hoping she would crack a small smile, and she did. "What's wrong?" I asked again, kissing her forehead. She avoided my gaze and fiddled with her necklace. "It's ok if you don't want to talk about it, we can just go back to my place and chill if you want. Whatever helps you feel better." She nodded. "Ok, come on." I held my hand out to her and she took it, staring at the ground as we walked down to my car.

She got into the passengers seat and stared down at her lap with a frown on her face, still holding onto my hand. "What do you want for dinner?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Jayje you need to eat." I said softly, keeping my eyes on the road while caressing her hand.

"Whatever's fine."

"Ok, I'm going to get some Panera mac n cheese." I said, hoping it would cheer her up like it did with me. She nodded and started playing with her necklace again.

I made the turn into my apartment complex and we walked up to my room. I opened the door for her and she headed for the bedroom. I followed her and lied down before her since she was just standing at the foot of the bed. She got in after me and then rested her head on my belly, hugging my torso. "Do you need a distraction or anything?" I asked her, playing with her hair with one hand and ordering our food with the other.

"Can you just tell me about your day?"

"Sure. So...I got to the office at 8:30, hating my life because I forgot to do the paperwork that I missed when I took my week off. So I had to finish all of that...I was with you at lunch so there's nothing new there. I think I ended up drinking four cups of coffee and I felt like I was dying because caffeine makes me anxious." She looked up at me, her chin resting on my stomach with her brows furrowed.

"Then why would you drink it?"

"Because coffee is so good."

"Then get decaf."

"That defeats the whole purpose."

"You're weird." She rested her cheek back on my stomach and let out a soft sigh.

"It's worth it. I'd gladly have panic attacks everyday if it meant that I could drink coffee."

"No." She shook her head. "Having panic attacks everyday isn't healthy...and I don't want you to be anxious for no reason everyday."

"You're so nice. But I was kidding. I don't have panic attacks everyday."

"Good." I watched as she made herself more comfortable, lifting my shirt up so she could lie her head down on my bare stomach, kissing it a couple times before putting her head back down.

She stared blankly at the wall for a couple minutes before speaking. "My sister killed herself 13 years ago today."

"Killed herself?"

"Yeah...did you not know that?"

"I knew she died. You never told me that she killed herself."

"Oh." She was quiet.

"Do you...do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Ok." I stroked her hair and she kissed my stomach again.

"Have you ever lost someone?" I didn't answer. "Babe?" She tapped my stomach. I didn't know what to say. If I said no I would be lying but if I said yes she would ask. If I said I don't know that obviously means yes and if I say I don't want to talk about it she would know something happened. "Earth to Ms. Peppermint." She snapped her fingers in front of my face.

"Sorry."

"Are you ok?" She furrowed her brows.

"Yeah, are you?"

"You kinda shut off there for a second. I asked you-"

"I know what you asked. I asked you if you were ok." Her eyes darkened with sadness and I immediately felt bad. I sounded a bit tense and a bit angry. "I'm sorry. I'm not mad. I promise." She nodded and put her head back down on my belly. "I'm here if you wanna talk." I reminded her.

"I know. Thank you."

"I love you."

"I love you."