Smoke Signals

37

I lied my head on JJ's lap while we got comfortable on the couch, on our way to Michigan. Garcia had explained the whole case to us and we had all gotten our assignments.

Morgan sat across from us with a tired sigh. I gave him a small smile and then sat up. JJ looking at me, furrowing her brows, silently asking me if I was alright. I rested my head on her shoulder and grabbed her hands. "Ok lovebirds. I get the message, I'll find somewhere else to sit." He put his hands up in surrender and walked away. I watched him, confused.

"What did we even do?" I asked.

"I don't know." She kissed the top of my head and put her arm around me. "You want some Cheetos?" I shook my head.

"Suit yourself." She opened a bag and started eating it loudly. Everyone turned to her. "What?"

"Everyone's tired." Morgan said grumpily.

"Geez. Sorry." She put her Cheetos away and I crossed my arms, leaning my whole body into her. "Cold?" I nodded and she put both of her arms around me.

"Do you have a hoodie?"

"Yeah baby, I'll get it for you." She stood up and pouted at her absence. "You're adorable." she whispered, kissing my forehead when she came back. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I put the hoodie on and cuddled up to her again.

"Babe I know you too well. We've been together for a year."

"I just need to talk to you about something when we get to the hotel."

"Ok. Is everything alright?" I shrugged and she lied down. I lied down on top of her and rested my head on her chest. "That means no."

"It's not a big deal, I just need to talk to you about something."

"Ok." She nodded and we lied down in silence the rest of the plane ride.

When we got back to the hotel JJ and I got into bed immediately, too tired to shower. I curled up into her and she put her arm around my waist. "What did you want to talk about."

"Oh." I was kind of hoping she had forgotten. She gave my waist an assuring squeeze. "It's just that...I grew up here...and there are a lot of bad memories that I associate with this place and I talked to Hotch, he said I could stay off the field and just stay in the local police department or the hotel but I just thought you should know since I tell you everything and you're my girlfriend."

"Thank you for telling me." She whispered. "I can't really imagine what being here must do to you, so please tell me if you need anything, because I promise, I'm here. Ok?" I nodded. "If you need a shoulder to cry on, hugs, cuddles, if you need to talk, just silence, if you want me to listen. Anything. I'm always here."

"Thank you."

"Of course...but are you ok right now? We kinda left in the middle of-"

"Me having a meltdown...yeah. I mean no, I'm not fine but I'm managing, you know?"

"It's ok not to be ok."

"That sounds cheesy."

"But it's true. You don't have to be fine all the time. You don't have to pretend you're find when you're not."

"But I don't want everyone to think I'm weak."

"Well you don't have to pretend. Not with me."

"You have no idea how nice it is to hear that." I said, my soft a soft whisper. She put her arm around my shoulders and kissed my forehead.

"I love you so much, and I know you're hurting right now, and I want to help in any way I can."

"That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me."

"Please don't forget it." I stayed quiet a moment, replaying the words over and over in my head until I had memorized them.

"I won't forget it." I assured her.

"Good." She kissed my forehead again and pulled me more into her before kissing all over my face.

I blushed and put my arm over her waist, tucking my head between her chin and her neck. "I love you." I whispered.

"I love you."