Smoke Signals

25 ⚠️

⚠️ ABUSE ⚠️

I watched as JJ interviewed our person of interest. I sat down next to her silentlyC waiting for her cue for me to talk. She was being a bit harsh, due to the way we profiled our unsub.

Her voice was raised and she wasn't taking any bullshit from him, not letting him talk about anything except what we wanted to hear about. I knew it was JJ but her behavior reminded me all too well of my dad. I knew I had to remain calm and focused during the interrogation so I didn't miss anything but JJ's voice was filled with venom and again, I knew it was JJ and it was just an act but it was still unsettling, reminding me of when I had heard venom filled voices without it being an act.

JJ suddenly slammed her down down on the table to seem more violent, obviously scaring the suspect, but it also scared me. I flinched and JJ turned to me, her brows furrowing, silently asking me if I was ok. I gave her a small nod and she immediately went back to interviewing the unsub, our interaction taking less than a second. "What the fuck's wrong with her?" The suspect asked.

"You're not talking to her, you're talking to me." JJ said sternly.

"Then why is she in here?"

"You're not talking to her. You're talking to me." She repeated.

"My bad." He held his hands up in the air and JJ started talking again.

"Blair." I heard Hotch's voice from the doorway and I got up, walking out of the interrogation room. "We have reason to believe that our unsub was abused. We need to make that part of our interrogation." My heart jumped.

"I...I don't do cases like that."

"We need you Blair." I sighed and walked back into the room, whispering what Hotch had told me in her ear and sat back down. I knew where this was going, we had to irritate him which meant she wasn't going to say the nicest things. I wanted to leave but Hotch had wanted me to be here, so I stayed.

She started bringing up his dad, talking about what his dad would do to him if he knew about what he did. "You know what? You deserved it. Daddy wanted to beat this out of you but I guess he wasn't successful huh? Maybe a few more beatings would do the trick. We can invite him in here for you, you know-"

"I didn't deserve it." He said, shaking his head frantically.

"Deep down, you know you did. You still do." My breath hitched at her words. This. It was this exactly that was why I didn't do cases like this. I tried to remind myself that JJ didn't actually mean it and was using it as a tactic but fuck it was realistic. "Daddy doesn't love you. He never will." When she said that I got up and left. I pushed past Hotch and went to a private room, shutting the door and sliding down the wall, putting my hands over my ears and trying to get JJ's words out of my head.

"She wasn't talking to you. She didn't mean it. She wasn't talking to you." I whispered to myself. "That's not JJ."

I had no idea how much time had passed whispering soft affirmations to myself. Trying to get everything that JJ had said out of my head. It was everything that I had been saying to myself.

I heard the door open and I looked up, an anxious look on my face. I relaxed a bit when I saw that it was JJ. She closes the door and knelt down in front of me. "Hotch said you were in here." She read my face but I didn't say anything. "Sweetheart...none of what I said to him was true, it was just to get him to talk. I don't actually feel that way about..." She trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"People who were abused?" She nodded. "Yeah...well, the way you were saying it was...really realistic."

"Honey-" She looked so guilty and I felt bad.

"I know you don't mean it. Ok? I know that." I breathed out. "I just...this is why I don't do cases with abuse." She reached out to touch my face and I flinched.

"Please don't touch me right now." She nodded and sat cross legged in front of me. "Y...y-you're gonna stay even if I tell you to leave aren't you?" She looked down.

"Honey, you know I'm not going to leave you like this."

"Everything you said...every single thing you said is how I feel about myself." I whispered. "It just got to me." She looked at me with pity in her eyes. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you feel bad for me." She opened her mouth to ah something but then shut it. "You know what, it doesn't matter, I'm fine." I lied.

"Babe you know that's not true." She put her hand on my arm as I got up, silently asking for me to stay.

"I'm not mad." I told her, she nodded.

"I know."

"I just want to be alone right now." Her eyes darkened with sadness, looking a bit helpless. I tore my eyes away from her and left, hoping that I could get out of my head before I did something stupid.