Smoke Signals

39

I woke up in JJ and I's shared hotel bed, feeling cold. I cuddled up into her more and she shifted a bit. "Honey?"

"Did I wake you?"

"Mhm. It's ok." She turned onto her side and pulled me into her, feeling that I was cold. "Couldn't sleep?" She mumbled tiredly.

"No. Just woke up because I was cold." She nodded and started snoring softly a minute later. I smiled and kissed her nose, it twitched a bit in her sleep which only made me want to kiss it again.

"Babe...that tickles." She said so quiet I could barely hear her.

"Sorry."

"It's ok." She shifted again and opened her eyes. "Are you gonna be able to fall asleep again?"

"Maybe, maybe not."

"I'll stay up with you."

"It's cute when you sleep."

"Mhm. So cute." She said while stretching.

"It is." I crawled on top of her and buried my face in her neck.

"You're freezing."

"Mhm. That's why I need you to keep me warm." She hummed and put her arms back around me.

"You know...since we both aren't gonna be able to fall back asleep, I have an idea?"

"What's the idea?"

"Sex." She said bluntly.

"Do you want to?"

"Yeah. Do you?"

"If you want to."

"I'm confused."

"Me too." I let out a sigh as her hand trailed down to my ass, giving it a light squeeze. "How about just...not now?" She nodded and pulled the covers up over us.

I let out a sigh and nuzzled my nose into her neck. "You ok?" She asked, sounding more awake now.

"Yeah."

"Sweetheart I know you better than that, what's on your mind?"

"Nothing important."

"It's important to me."

"I'm just thinking about my dad." She stayed quiet for a few seconds.

"What about him?"

"Just wondering where he is."

"Do you want to see him again?"

"No."

"Then why does it matter where he is?"

"I don't know. It's too early to be thinking." I sighed and rubbed my face, sitting up and moving away from her.

She sat up on her elbows and turned the lamp on. "Love? Talk to me, please."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Ok...why is there something telling me that that's not true."

"I don't know Jayje." I rubbed my eye and pulled my knees up to my chest.

"Are you mad at me?" She asked quietly.

"No."

"Then why are you trying to shut me out?"

"I'm not Jayje. Go back to sleep."

"See, you're trying to shut me out."

"I'm not."

"You just told me to go to sleep." She sat up completely.

"That's not shutting you out." She kissed my cheek and put her arms around my waist.

"Come on." She kissed my cheek again, loving how it made me blush. I leaned into her and she held me tightly, rubbing my arm up and down. "You don't even wanna talk about all the stupid shit Morgan's done this past week to try to get some girl into bed?" I laughed softly and she kissed my temple. "It's a good thing I don't have to pull a line to get you into bed."

"Mhm."

"Darling."

"What?"

"You're killing me."

"Huh?"

"Talk to me. I can see somethings on your mind and it's really bugging you."

"I already told you, it's my dad."

"But I know you're lying."

"Can you stop pressing?" I know it was hard for her, she always wanted to comfort me but I didn't want to talk about it.

"I love you."

"I love you." She kissed my temple again after I replied.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Yes, I know."

"Then talk to me."

"I don't have to tell you everything right now."

"You're right, I'm sorry for pressing." I sighed and played with my fingers.

"I want to tell tou things. But I don't want to tell you everything right now. It's too early and I don't want to have a huge conversation."

"So it's big?"

"Jayje-"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She rubbed my arm and pressed her nose against my cheek. "But-"

"You're here if I want to talk. I know."

"Good." She moved to lie back down but I grabbed her arm. She got the message and hugged me again.

"I need my one and only snuggle buddy."

"That's why I'm here." She kissed all over the side of my face and pulled me down on top of her when she lied down.

I rested my head on her chest. "I love you." I told her, her heartbeat immediately calming me.

"I love you."