Smoke Signals

21

I hadn't been able to eat or sleep for four days, but still managed to go to work. I thought it was amazing how I hadn't passed out yet, but I guess I was just talented.

I walked to the break room, getting me seventh cup of coffee for the day, despite it being noon. "Don't you wanna slow down a little bit?" JJ asked with a small laugh on the opposite side of the room. I had been avoiding her lately, hoping she didn't notice. I mean yeah, I had slept at her house the last four days but I barely said anything to her, we just watched movies and cuddled and that was that.

"I'm tired." I said breathlessly.

"No sleep?" I shook my head and I could sense her frown from across the room. "You could've told me." I knew she would say that. I turned around and leaned back against the counter, taking a sip of my coffee.

"Sorry."

"Are you eating?" She asked. My eyes flickered down to the floor.

"I can't."

"Why not?" She walked over to me and stood beside me. She put her hand on my back to offer some support.

"I don't know." I whispered. "I just can't."

"Would some Panera mac n cheese help?" I shook my head. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah...I just...I feel like I'm going to throw up if I eat." Hotch walked into the room and saw the looks on both of our faces.

"Blair, if you need to go home you can. JJ, you can go with her." JJ nodded.

"Thank you Hotch." She pressed a kiss to my temple. I didn't really want to leave but I didn't feel like arguing with JJ.

We got back to her place and I just looked around the apartment. "You can sit down if you want." JJ reminded me. I just turned around and hugged her. She was a little caught off guard by it but she hugged me back.

"I need to sleep."

"Ok sweetheart, let's go to bed and we can cuddle and you can take a nap, does that sound alright?" I nodded and we walked to her bedroom. She lied down on the bed and I lied down on top of her, needing to be as close to her as possible.

"I haven't slept in four days."

"Oh honey." She whispered, rubbing my back. "I wish you would've told me so I could've helped you." I buried my face in her neck and pulled the covers up over us. "Do you know anything that could help you sleep?"

"Can you play with my hair?" I asked hesitantly.

"What else?" She always knew. Her fingers slowly combed through my hair and softly massaged my head.

"Can you just tell me it's going to be ok?"

"Yeah." Her voice softened. "I can do that angel." I let out a relaxed sigh as she started whispering comforting words to me. "Everything's going to be ok, I promise my love. I'm right here...I got you." She kissed my forehead. "I got you baby, everything's going to be ok, you're safe with me, I got you."

I felt myself slowly start to drift off to sleep from a mix of her comforting touch and words.

I woke up 14 hours later, still feeling very tired but more refreshed. It was 3 in the morning and JJ was softly snoring above me. I adjusted myself so I was more comfortable and she stopped snoring, waking up. "Hey gorgeous, are you awake?"

"Mhm." I nodded and she went back to playing with my hair. "Can...can we take a bath?" I asked in a shy voice.

"Of course my love." I sat up slowly and yawned. She waited for me to get off the bed and then put her hand on the small of my back, guiding me to her bathroom.

She turned on the faucet to hot water and then started stripping off her clothes. I watched her with tired eyes, admiring her body. She read my expression and started unbuttoning my shirt slowly, taking it off and then rubbing my arms up and down, kissing my forehead.

She undressed both of us and then stopped the water when it was deep enough. She stepped into the bath slowly and sat down, holding her hand out to help me in. I gladly took it and sat down between her legs. She put her arms around my torso and kissed my shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

"Relaxed."

"Good." She kissed my neck and then rested her chin on my shoulder. I knew I probably felt skinnier to her, due to not being able to eat the past four days but I think she was too nervous to bring it up.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"I'm good...anything you wanna talk about?" She kissed my cheek, causing me to blush.

"D-do you think it would be fine if I were to take some time off of work? I don't want to let the team down because I took a week off a few months ago...but I just don't feel great, you know? I'm stressed all the time and I just need some time to decompress."

"Of course it's fine to take time off work." She assured me. "Don't feel bad about it, ok? Why don't we call Hotch in the morning, around 7:30?" I nodded. "Do you want me to work from home again?" I nodded.

"If it's ok with you."

"Of course it's ok with me." I held my breath. "Is there something else you want to say?"

"I uh...we're basically spending every waking moment together...we always spend the night together." I started.

"You want to move in?"

"If that's alright." She smiled and kissed all over my shoulder my neck and my cheek on both sides.

"Of course it's ok. God, I've been wanting to ask you to move in forever, but I didn't know what you were going to say."

"I would've said yes the day I met you."

"Sounds like you're a bit obsessed with me."

"Shamelessly." She laughed and my heart skipped a beat. I smiled widely and blushed. Her hug tightened and I leaned my head back to rest on her shoulder. "I really love you."

"I love you angel."