Smoke Signals

16 ⚠️

⚠️ SELF HARM ⚠️

I dialed JJ's number as I got on the jet. I was really early and no one was there yet. I was a bit nervous for this trip since we had gotten an airbnb instead of singular hotel rooms, it was cheaper and we had a smaller budget this year. "Hey sweetheart." JJ said on the other line.

"Hey...I was uh...are you on your way?"

"No, I'm leaving in a couple minutes though."

"Can you pack the strap?" I blurted.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, yeah, I can do that." I heard her unzip her bag.

"I miss you." I said in a low voice.

"I miss you too darling."

"How long till you're here?"

"I'm leaving right now gorgeous. I'll see you in ten minutes, ok?"

"Ok."

"I love you."

"I love you." I hung up and waited for her to come.

When she got on the jet she was the last one on. She sat down next to me and I looked at her bag. It was bulging. "Um...how much did you pack?"

"Well, I brought everything, just in case."

"Everything as in?" I smiled slightly.

"Strap...vibrator...handcuffs...blindfold."

"Jesus you're into a lot of stuff." I said, sipping my coffee.

"We don't have to do all of it. It was just in case. We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with." She reminded me.

"I know."

"So is there anything you're not comfortable with?"

"Well...handcuffs sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

"I...yeah. Like after I've...cut...after that it hurts."

"That makes sense." She took a sip of my coffee. "If we were to use them tonight would it hurt?"

"That's a creative way of asking if I've hurt myself." I said with a small laugh.

"Did you?" She put her arm around me. "There's no need to be nervous darling, I just want you to know that I'm here for you, alright?" I nodded.

"I did it."

"Anything you want to talk about?" I shook my head. She kissed my temple. We originally hadn't told anyone about our relationship but they slowly picked up on it due to our intimacy at work. We weren't super PDA, it was just obvious when we comforted each other, and we were a lot more comfortable with each other than with everyone else on the team. We wanted to keep our relationship private though, and everyone silently respected that, keeping our most intimate moments behind closed doors.

"Where even is the case?" I asked.

"Atlanta." I nodded and rested my head on her shoulder. I lifted my sleeve up a bit and glanced at my scars. There were two new cuts, a deeper one and a shallow more hesitant one. There was a very big difference and she could tell. She slid her hand into mine and caressed my hand, pressing another kiss to my temple. "You ok?"

"Yeah...it's just two and a half months down the drain."

"It's not down the drain." She assured me. "I'm really glad you told me." I nodded. The last time I did it I had hid it from her until the last minute, so it was a big step. I put my head on her shoulder and squeezed her hand.

"I can't wait to get into the comfortable bed." I said.

"Me neither baby." She kissed the top of my head.

"Hopefully it's not squeaky."

"I'll take you anywhere."

"Anywhere?" I lifted my head up and blushed. She nodded. "The porch?" She nodded. "An airplane?" She nodded. "The middle of a football field?" She nodded. I looked around the jet, trying to think of something she would say no to. "What of Reid was watching?"

"Oh no. Honey we couldn't ruin his innocence like that."

"So you wouldn't fuck me anywhere."

"Reid watching is a situation, not a place."

"In a church."

"That would be so pretty."

"Yeah, with all the nuns watching." She blushed. "Um...the top of the Washington Monument."

"Is that even safe?"

"So that's a no."

"Yeah. That would be a no." I smiled and kissed her cheek, hugging her arm. "What?"

"You're just really cute, and horny all the time." She looked around, hoping that no one heard me say that. "I don't mind." I whispered, kissing her shoulder and resting my head down on it again.

"Can I have some more of your coffee?"

"Yeah. You can finish it off you want."

"No, I wouldn't want to take away you're anxiety inducing juice." I nuzzled my face into her neck. "You're really cuddly right now."

"Yeah. I just love you."

"I love you." She kissed the top of my head and I blushed. "I'm sorry darling but can you move my arms in a weird position." I loosened my grip on her arm and put my head back on the side of her shoulder instead of my neck.

"Is that better?"

"Yeah...I love you sweetheart."

"I love you."