Classmates (Noco)

Apologies (angst?)

{ js a little a/n rq this is prob gonna be one of the angst chapters i mentioned previously so, if ur uncomfortable with that then skip this.

NOW ONTO THE CHAPTER }

Cody's Pov -

I'm such an idiot.

I can't believe I just up and left Noah like that. I mean, he was being a little pushy, but still. He was only trying to help. I was trying to deal with all this shit on my own, and I had to be an idiot and push him away. He probably hates me. What if he breaks up with me..?

He wouldn't. Noah loved and cared about me so much we would never break up. Unless this fight was so terrible-

"Cody!"

"Yeah?"

"We're going out to dinner!"

"Ok, bye!"

"Don't play dumb, you're coming too!"

"Fuck," I whispered, slipping on my shoes and heading out of my door, completely forgetting my phone. Which I would probably regret later.

{ At the Restaurant }

I was waiting on my food when I realized I had forgotten my phone. I didn't think it was that big of a deal, even though I had planned on texting Noah and apologizing for the dispute. He was just trying to help, and-

"So, Cody." My dad broke into my thoughts.

"Uh, yeah?"

"What is it like dating a guy?"

I buried my face in my hands.

"Seriously?!" My mom yelled. "Is that all you can talk about!"

"I just wanna know!"

"Uhhh.." I stalled for a moment. "I guess it's just like dating a girl, except I've never dated a girl before."

"So are you saying you've dating other guys before Noah?"

"Drop this!" My mom shouted once again.

"I'm making attempts at getting to know our son and you have to go and ruin it!"

The argument quickly grew heated. I sat there awkwardly. I couldn't text Noah about this, I forgot my phone and he probably doesn't even want to talk to me. I'll just text him when I'm home.

I continued to listen to my parents argue, before they just sat up and walked off.

"Where are we going?" I called after them.

"Home." My dad said angrily. I followed them back to the car, listening to their arguments once again the entire thirty minute drive home. I walked upstairs as quickly as I could, slamming the door behind me. As soon as I saw my phone on the table, I picked it up to try and apologize to Noah. But I had already received a message from him. I didn't know what it meant, but I was horrified.

noah <3 : i'm so fucking sorry.

Noah's Pov -

I sat in my bed staring at the wall for about twenty minutes. I could hear noises from downstairs, I never listened. I thought back to when I had first started high school, my 'gay awakening' I guess. I was really open about it with my closer friends, which was the biggest mistake ever. They had told some people, who told some people, who told some people, and soon it was all over the school. Death threats in my locker, the slurs in the hallway, all because some idiot friends I thought I could trust told some people and it spread like wildfire around the school. I started blaming myself for everything that had happened. I didn't really think there was anyone else to blame, since I was the one who told them in the first place. I'd never gotten to openly talk about it unless I was at the mandatory school-wide counselor visits. They always told me the same things every time.

"You can talk to anyone."

"Why is it so bad if people know?"

"You're too young to be depressed."

"It's all made up."

Each time they said these statements it cut deeper. Not just mentally, but physically. That was when I was at my lowest point. I was just starting to recover when Cody moved here. I thought his stupid gap toothed smile was annoying, despite how cute I thought he was. We were hanging out and getting along just fine until some stupid ass fight we had yesterday. I haven't even talked to him, and he hasn't talked to me. I think he wants to break up? Should I ask him about it? He definitely wants to break up. Should I text him? Obviously not.

I sat in pure silence for a while again, this time sprawled out onto the floor. I looked at the scars on my arms, shocked Cody hadn't pointed them out yet. After two years, their memory remained in my skin. They hadn't even faded the slightest bit. They stuck out on my arm like an eyesore, something I had tried to cover up but never worked. God, I must sound so stupid talking about all of this to the school counselors. No wonder they think I'm crazy.

I glanced at my phone once again. Still no messages from Cody. Did he even still care? If he did, he would've texted by now. How bad did I fuck up? I messed up our entire relationship because I was a clingy overprotective idiot. Would Cody even care if I died?

Probably not.

What was I even thinking?! I don't want to die, I just want to see if Cody would care. Is that the same as wanting to die? I can't tell the difference. I walked slowly over to my window and cracked it open. I turned to look back at my phone and left one final message for Cody.

Me: i'm so fucking sorry.

I put my phone in my pocket before crawling to sit on the side of my window. I looked around for a minute, making sure no one was around, and slowly let myself slip off of the window.