For The Greater Good || 2doc Angst (Gorillaz Fanfic)

I want you

TW: ⚠️Drug mentions⚠️

{Murdoc POV}:

It's been a couple weeks since the whole "Cracker Island" incident, and 2D's still taking a while to bounce back from whatever that cult had him drink. He's basically been bedridden for two days, and even when he gets up to use the bathroom and such he can't figure out how to open the door to get out. So he just lays there like a dead animal on the floor. My heart aches to see him this way. I'm glad that he's back but he's not himself.
I haven't heard from Moonflower either, I'm terrified for her. I really hope she isn't dead. I wanted to help her but I didn't want to go back to jail. I know our of everyone in my band they'd single out me for my past records.
Anyway I've been making sure 2D's alright, without getting too close to him of course. I think Moonflower kind of got between us and might've put a sore on our relationship for a moment, but I'll make up for it when he gets better. He's mostly been sleeping and crying a lot. I want to comfort him but I don't know if it would be too awkward or not considering all that's happened. I don't know if it would be the right thing to do. I care a lot about what 2D thinks, though that may seem surprising. Maybe for once I should treat him better, I mean he's litterally sick so I shouldn't make him feel even worse; but if I did he probably wouldn't even notice- fuck it. I can't fuck this up again. 2D deserves so much better..

I fucking suck at this.

I love him and I can't keep lying to myself that I don't. Every time I do I end up hurting both of us, and then all of us. I've been running from this shit for years and it's never benefited me once. I just wanted to seem strong but all I did was hurt him. I only run myself in circles like this. I destroy everything I touch.
2D's one of the only things that actually makes sense to me. I'll go see him then.
I got up and set my bass aside. I practice it sometimes, I guess as a coping mechanism. I got dressed and went to 2D's room. My anxiety was telling me not to but I went to check on him anyway. I turn the knob and the door gently slides open. 2D's laying in bed, very disheveled. He yawned and leaned up, "Mudz?". He stretches and rubs his eyes groggily. "Hey Stuart, uhm. Are you alright?" I tried to ask, speaking to him felt awkward for whatever reason.
I can't tell how much he remembers of the Cracker Island events but if he does remember them there's a good chance he's upset with me.

I watch Stuart. He shrugs. I think he's still tired from being drugged. "Can I join you?". He seems confused on what I'm asking. I feel too embarrassed to ask. I stood there for a moment, flustered, before I went over to him and sat beside him. He then started to smile. I moved his arms and laid in his chest (I know I usually let him lay in my chest but I dunno, things are just different lately). He cuddles me back.
For a while, we staid like that, without any words.

I sigh. I still have to apologize to him, or I might lose him.

Silence.

"Stu" I mumble. "Yea Mudz?" He seems cheery, a pink blush dusted on his cheeks. "Are you upset with me?" I ask. He seems confused. "About what?"
"Moonflower"
"Oh.." his expression changed. I guess he needed to think about it.
"Well, I don't think so. I mean we both did get distracted by her so it's not fully anyone's fault" he reassures me.
Silence again. For a moment at least.
"I'm sorry" my voice started to get more Shakey and whispery. His gaze softens. "It's okay—" but I interrupted him. "It isn't, I feel like I could've ruined everything. I'm a horrible boyfriend ,you don't deserve to be treated like this. I mean I'm trying my best but I still make the same mistakes I used to... I'm honestly... I'm scared.. what if I can't change?" I rambled off, pure anxiety controlling my every words now. Suddenly 2D begins running his fingers though my hair, trying to comfort me. I eventually stopped talking.
He held me close. "I love you Mudz"
Those 3 words were all it took to warm my cold, rotten heart. I don't usually let myself get emotional, but he just melts me. I can feel my face heating up and my eyes starting to burn. Tears start to spill out of my eyes, he holds me closer. My tears started to soak into his shirt.

This is more than just the Moonflower situation that upset me, it's a lot of things on my mind. I've given him so many reasons to hate me. He's tried to kill me even, but him being here for me now means everything. If he can forgive me, that's all I need. It gives me hope in a way. If we could change from enemies to lovers, maybe I can actually change too. I'll do whatever it takes. I don't want this moment to be the only real moment we have. I want to be with him all the time. I want this forever.

I want this.

I manage to calm down. I was exhausted at this point. I started to fall asleep, slowly hearing 2D chuckle a little at me. His voice comforts me as I drift the paralyzing darkness that is sleep.

{A/N}

Thank you for 160+ reads, also FINALLY A WHOLESOME CHAPTER AGAIN!! It took me so long to realize I made this an enemies to lovers thing when I litterally hate that trope because it's overused but I'm not erasing 30 million words over my stupid opinion. I hope I didn't write the emotional stuff too poorly, showing Murdoc with emotions is really difficult because he's such a stubborn character I have to be careful that I don't make him seem like a whiny bitch, if ya know what I mean. If you liked the chapter please comment or vote, thank you all so much for everything💜

★did not edit (I hate editing)

~Lund