For The Greater Good || 2doc Angst (Gorillaz Fanfic)

bandaid

(love and grudge but 2D's POV):

TW: ⚠️Emetophobia trigger warning, alcohol, stalking mention, drowning mention, murder attempt, SA implication⚠️

I was really happy to see Murdoc when he brought me back, I was surprised he even hugged me. I fink after being separated from him in that whale for 18 hours, then stranded in Guadalupe for almost a year really gave me the time to fink that I needed. I feel loik I've even grown as a person. Since I been back Murdoc hasnt hit me once.. it's weird almost. Has he changed? I thot about consultin him but when I was headin to his room I saw him run out and straight to the toilets. It made me really woreid. I waitud for him a bit before goin in there. He was vomitin up a storm! It was awful! "Murdoc, Murdoc ar you okay?!?" He didnt answer me! He just kind of shoved me away. Atleast he managed to stop throwin up first. What the hell though! I mean if he's in a bad mood I should leave though befor this gets ugly..
I went back to my room. Sometimes though I still feel like I'm wasting my time tryin to make Murdoc happy. Why should I after all he's done to me? But at the same time, if he really is making an effort to change I should try to be better too. I need to apologize for leavin him at the lighthouse.. I fink that's the worst mistake I could've made. I mean I understand why I did it but it's not like that was goin to make anyfing between us bettah. I probably ruined any chance of fixing stuff between us though.. which means I shud apologize sooner! I guess.. I don really know what to say though, I dont fink I've ever messed up this badly before.. i must be sincere though, he needs to know i mean it. If he gets upset, then I guess that's deserved.. I messed up, badly. Okay, I fink I'm ready to go talk to him. When I got out of my room I saw Noodle leaving Murdoc's. I waved to her but she didn't really say anyfing. What was she doin in there? Did she have somefing to yell at Murdoc about or tell him too? Well, it's none of my concern. I have a task to do. I headed in Murdoc's room. He was practicing his bass guitar. "Uhm, Murdoc.. are you okay? I kind of wanted to talk.." I mumbled out. He finally looks at me, showin he's listening. "I'm fine, why do you care?" He said sort of aggressively. Ouch, this is goin to have a rocky start.. I took a deep breath. "Because Murdoc, i.. it's.. look I want to apologize" the look in his eye changes a bit. I fink he might actually care now, and hopefully be able to forgive me..
"It's about the lighthouse , I shouldn't have abandoned you there, that was really messed up of me.. I mean I know my reason for doing it was to get back at you but that doesn't make it okay, you nearly died because of me.. if you chose to forgive me though i promis I'll never let you or anyone else i care about down again" I tapped my fingers together anxiously as I waited for him to reply. He set El Diablo (his bass) down and came over to me. I flinched, finking he'd hit me but.. he hugged me. "I mean.. I should be the one apologizing, I was the one hurting you before. But I forgive you anyway, dumbass; because everyone deserves a second chance..I hope you feel the same" he muttered. That was a bit surprising, coming from someone like Murdoc. He usually don care about anyfing, I'm surprised he can still hold human values loik forgiveness. He really is changing.. I don know why but suddenly I started to cry, then sob. Murdoc was really confused. "Stuart? Are you okay?" He let's go of me. His eyes fill with guilt. I'm just so.. if he's gettin bettah.. then I will too! An he won't hit me anymor. "Stuart? Did I do somethin already?" He backed up and sat back down on his bed. I story of just stood there until I was able to stop crying. Once I did I didnt really know what to say so I decided to leave but before I did I made sure he knew I loved him. I fink he even blushed a bit. I then headed back to my room. It feels good to have finally got that off my chest. It hurt a bit like rippin off a bandaid, but it needed to be done. I wonder what's in store for us now, we've spent so long havin this awkward rift between us that things havent been calm or "normal" in a long time. Will we go back to cuddling an everyfing? As much as it is nerve racking, I'm excited.. not only that ,ive missed murdoc too.. spending a year apart from him was a bit scary but, I guess it really was necessary. When I first left I thought I was bein' selfish.. and then I got drowned almost by Ace.. I should tell Murdoc about that. Ace is his cousin after all, so..

I hope I never see him again. It probably could've been worse though, I mean if it wasn't at the pier it could've gotten ugly. Sometimes I fink Ace stalks me, sometimes I see him around where we do shows or where we decide to live and it's creepy. Sometimes he's there and then other times I don't see him for months, it's not constant but he's there. Maybe we should talk it out or somefing. Maybe Ace can be civil and I just don't know it, I mean if Murdoc can be then he's gotta. Yeh, that's what I'll work on soon. Oh, roit, I should talk to Murdoc about our next album soon. He's been working on stuff ,I know, but I Wang to know what I'm doin :)

A/N:

That's the longest trigger warning I've ever made 😭 anyway I know I could've just made a "2D POV" spot in the previous chapter but it would've made what I was planning to say more complicated to execute, anyway yeah. Ace slander supremacy and sorry if this is getting confusing at all, I feel like it is but idk if that's just me, let me know please bc If it's not I wanna fix it.