It was unexpected, the way it fell over us on that Friday night in September of last year. I wanted to stay and I wanted you to stay, right where we were, because it was good... It was uncertain, the future. It was like a flux, haze, a lavender haze; obscure and transparent, known and unknown, it was comfortable although blinding. A contradiction of everything I knew to be right; "It's wrong" they would say, but it felt so right it could not be wrong, no, it wasn't wrong. At least you didn't think so, and everyone disagreed but none of them would have found out otherwise. Their benign jealousy disguised as anger and hatred precipitated faster than the clouds in the sky that created this fog, this haze, in the first place. I want to forgive you but I think I already have, although so much could have been prevented if you could just keep your mouth sealed.
My first love, Charlie, oh how I felt so betrayed by what you did. It's October now, just over a year since you broke my perfectly good heart, but I have to thank you because it has surely shaped me into who I am today... Whether or not that is a good or bad thing depends on who you ask. But if you ask me, I am who I am and I don't care what people think. I wanted to stay, to stay in the lavender haze, but there you stood in the afterglow of the faint moonlight. I was comfortable in the haze and I thought we both were, but there you were showering the light on others while trying to pull me out of the fog I was so obscured by. The whole school grabbed their torches and pitchforks and I tried to run but I couldn't, I couldn't see because of you. I was a fool staying in the haze; it was love and it was blind, it was a hoax, one of the only hoaxes I believed in. But here I am again and the haze is resurfacing, it was lavender like the night we first kissed and I swear I can see you in the lavender haze, on midnights like this.
YOU ARE READING
Midnights Like This
RomanceOur minds work differently at midnight, sometimes we think about what could be, tomorrow. Sometimes we think about what could've been, ages ago. Sometimes we think about what we could do to change to next day, and sometimes there's just no going bac...
