Midnights Like This

Part 2, 20. You're On Your Own, Kid

     It was after I was done packing what I needed to leave military school for the summer, and I looked at the mirror, the guy staring back at me told me I was on my own. I didn't even know what was in store for me when my dad arrived to bring me away from this place, pretty much my home. The morning of the day that I left I told Roy that even though we had a bad falling out, I still wanted to be friends with you because I had come to forgive you. You were okay with that, and we both wished each other a happy summer, hoping to see each other again the following school year, we never did. Dad came to pick me up to go to the airport, for our flight back to Massachusetts was upon us. When we got there everything was good, I thought back on the entire year and how karma had served her purpose in my life in regards to revenge against others, but she was coming back to make me pay my dues.

     I didn't know what was coming for me upon returning home, and honestly, I pushed what happened that night deep down, so I'll tell you what I think I remember. My dad didn't want me to see my mom that much because he thinks she's a bad influence, but the truth is, all my bad attributes come from him so you can thank him for that. So when we returned to his house late that Saturday night, he and my literal evil stepmother told me they only wanted me to see my mom for a few days out of the whole summer, and in exchange they would allow me to return to military school. They wouldn't have held up their end of the deal anyways because of what happened next, late the next night. Now my dad never had any suspicions of whether I liked girls or boys, but because of what happened with Justice he started questioning everything. He wondered how someone as big as me could've gotten assaulted, in that particular way. He didn't know that shock is something that anyone could experience, even if someone slightly shorter but much more strong and muscular tried to hurt you.

     So late Sunday, the next day, my stepmother went through my phone under the suspicion that I liked guys. She found all of the texts between me and Roy, and I mean ALL of them. I mean our texts were never anything explicit. I was just very emotional and romantic, and I loved him too much to delete any of his messages. They told me my entire life was a lie, that I was a slut, that I was an abomination, that I was going to hell. They even got out a Bible in an attempt to cast out a demon or something. It's very hard for me to talk about that day, even though I didn't experience real trauma until a week after that. They told me that I wasn't gonna see my mom, that they didn't even want me to leave the house. If they had chains they would probably hold me down and drive a stake through my chest, If only they had the opportunity. After 3 hours of ranting about how evil and impure and horrible I was, I went to bed, and that day was the start of my real depression that has lingered with me since. Of course they took my phone and I was without any contact with the outside world, so I felt especially trapped once again.

     The reason that this day wasn't the worst day of my life is because if Jan 16, 2023 never happened then none of this would happen. If Roy never got moved to a different barracks I wouldn't need to keep his text messages to gaze at, I would never have been hurt by Justice in the first place so they wouldn't have any suspicions. I can say that If Jan 16, 2023 then this would be the worst day of my life. I couldn't believe the time had come when my dad finally hated me, I mean, I had a feeling it would happen someday, but so soon it was surprising. He gave up my sister for adoption just because he didn't want a daughter, so it's safe to say he was a horrible person, but I was still somewhat disappointed that we had finally reached a breaking point. As I was brushing my teeth to go to bed on that same miserable day, the guy in the mirror looked at me again and said "You're on your own, kid". I'm still alone, and the mirror still reminds me of it every time I think about what they did to me on midnights just like this one.