Midnights Like This

Part 4, 37. Choke

     Didn't know I would choke so easily over my own words. I guess everything comes back around, it's giving karma. People I don't even know are talking shit about me, it's giving me an idea of who people are, and that they need to mind their own goddamn business. You white trash always need to stir the pot, you just want attention. You want relevance, something to talk about and someone to ruin. I don't even like you either you stupid b**ch.

     You make me sick, you make me turn my insides out onto the bricks. No one trains an asshole like you, I'll punch you in your jugular and leave a pretty bruise, attitude and alcohol could never save you. You f***ing loser, red meat and deadbeat you goddamn tumor! Can't believe you tried to reach into my mind that blooms ideas that aren't yours. Better count your blessings because I have humor, I got a knife too, I call him mine and you bet your life; I'll steal him from you. You f***ing user, it's giving crackhead cretin. You know your life is a blooper, splinter looking-ass probably born in a sewer, you take this hate and swallow it but I'm a chewer. Go find another guy to ruin, count the days until you lose him. I AM SO MAD!!!! You screw up my life, you don't even say "my bad". You don't know the ways around him like I do, you throw temper tantrums every time I look at him, kinda sad, but he's all that. It's like I talk to a waitress and I say "I want her head for dinner, silver plate it too, cut out the tongue first so she can't talk shit food". Let's hear you go and say shit again, I'm abrasive? I'm a dragon, I'm a killer and I shapeshift. I breathe fire and I break shit, I'm a brain eating amoeba, and I'm coming for you next b**ch, I'm contagious and I ruined what was sacred. I was living, laughing, and loving so good before your locusts and your plague hit it. I always have to fake it, but now you're crying and shaking? I'll take all of your tears and bottle them and use them as face mist because I'm beautiful, and I'm still mad.

     Help, I'm drowning, there's nobody around me, oh I need somebody to save me, can you come and take me? Help, I'm choking, there's liquid in my breathing, I think I might be sinking, the oxygen is leaking. The demon has seen me, he said "I'm not leaving", the angel is watching me and knows he can't stop me. I'm guessing they're testing me, getting the best of me but I don't know how long until they see the rest of me. They don't believe me and my heart isn't beating, they say I'm imagining, just make believing. The geometry I am seeing is leading me to frequencies in my chest and they're teasing me. I choke, choke, choke, and choke on all of your words and your lies. Now everything's clearer, I now look in the mirror and I laugh at the past in the face of the fear. The angel is watching me laugh and he stops me to tell me that the end is here. Transition is completed, the demon is now defeated, he disappears into the smoke. All systems are now go. Countdown, five, four, three, two, one, and I choke.

     You make me choke, didn't know who you were but now I do; it made it worse. Now I don't know if I can trust my friend anymore because you feed bullshit about a person you don't even know. You put these worms in people's brains, you crawl underneath their skin like a colony of ants. You make me rage, I choke over my own anger because of how enraged I am that you seek to cause problems that didn't even need to exist. Maybe you should talk to me first, get to know me first before you decide to talk to other people about things you don't even know about. I want to choke just thinking about you, I want to be buried 6 feet deep instead of looking at your skanky face. You make everyone choke over all of the lies you have created out of mid-air, and I still choke when I think about how miserable it made me on midnights like this.