Midnights Like This

Part 2, 18. Mastermind

     With the absence of supernatural expectations; theoretically, you can get anything you want with time, well, for the most part. All it takes is patience and coordination and you can get almost anything you want. If I learned anything about love, it works the same way, although it has been somewhat slower compared to 8th grade year. If only I were a mastermind, I could have you. Some would say I was a mastermind, but those are just the people that witnessed me work my magical clockwork on guys in 8th grade. Freshman year Is so different, everyone is so incompetent and no one takes anything seriously like life is one big joke, well spoiler alert; it's not. Not for me anyways, I am just focusing on love for the time being. I have tried to love myself but I just can't, I mean, how does anyone? Some say you need to love yourself first to truly love others, but i'll say one thing, I want whatever they're on, HA! I will learn to love myself once someone else first starts to love me, It's only easier this way, it's why I'm a mastermind.

     You're smart, and that's a problem. Well, It is and it isn't, you see, I find romantic attraction from intelligence but the fact that you're smart might mean you're onto me. Maybe I'll try one of the methods I've used in the past, but maybe I should leave it alone. No, I believe there is still hope for you, for us. I'll let you in on a few secrets; Justice, Charlie, Todd and Roy were all planned relationships. I guess you could say I'm unlucky because I never get in a relationship unless it's my idea to pursue, but at least I got what I wanted, although I realize now that everything I wanted is; nothing I need. I have a lot to do for this year, you just got me started. You're still at the Prologue, but I'm at the last chapter, waiting for you to get on my level.

     I very clearly remember the first time me and Roy talked, that's when I knew I needed to have him, and that's when the plan set in. From the maroon sky, to the brunch the morning after, even dated Justice to see if he would get jealous, he did, and then I dated him instead. None of that works here, this school is too 90's cliche and it's so exhausting how jet set everyone is, on their own opinions. Sometimes I want to jump off very tall somethings, just to see if any of you'll come running to catch me. I ask myself If it will ever be over? Will love come to catch me? I guess I'll have to concoct some more plans, so I'll be here in bed trying to keep my head up, and brainstorming my mastermind ideas on midnights like this.