Goodbye Graceful (Ronnie Radke love story, 3rd book in The Drug In Me series )

8. Terrors Of Truths.

**** Picture of Ryker (without her septum piercing). Ain't she purdy lovelies? ****

*Ryker*

After spilling my secrets to the group, I was excused from the rest of the days activities and sent to Mr. Willows office.

I was a sobbing mess when I first got there. I spent the first hour with him just crying. Then he got some dinner brought to his office so I could eat.

After pulling myself together, I retold him the story segment by segment, going into more detail. By the time I was finished it was 7 o'clock.

He handed me another tissue box and looked at me with sympathetic eyes. "I'm glad you told me. It feels a bit better already right?" he asked, and I nodded.

"I think, if you continue to do well here, maybe by next month you'll be out. Maybe even earlier if you're really good. How does that sound?" he said, and I nodded, unable to talk. My voice was hoarse from talking so much, and the hysterical sobbing had torn up my throat.

Mr. Willows let me go early, saying I should rest. I went bed, my dreams filled with the memories of Him.

I woke up every few hours in terror, only to fall back asleep in more fear-filled nightmares.

Him, Ronnie, Leah, all of them haunted my dreams. Him coming back. Ronnie leaving me. Leah getting hurt. Luna and Echo hating me. They all made me breathless with fear.

I would get out soon, but until then, it would be torturous nights alone, no Ronnie or Leah to cuddle me and touch me to assure me that I was here, not disappearing like I felt I was.

*Ronnie*

---- Two weeks later --- ~

I came back from the show, tired and sweaty. I took a shower before anyone else could steal it first, listening to Derek and Ryan raving about some bombshell girl that threw bras at both of them and managed to hit both of them on the head. It was silly, but funny I guess.

I pulled on some boxers and walked to the back of the bus, going into my room. I opened the door and found Ryker sitting on my bed, looking at me with longing.

She was wearing a long jacket zipped up to her neck and she looked like she was really excited to see me.

"I just got back, I came straight here. I'm sorry Ronnie, what can I do to make it up to you? I missed you, I'll do anything for you to forgive me, to take me back" she said, standing up and walking towards me.

Even though she had seen me naked before, I felt weird standing in front of her with nothing but boxers on. But she didn't give me a chance to get dressed.

She had gotten real close to me, and she leaned into my chest, standing on her tip toes and leaning closer to me until her chin was brushing against my shoulder.

I held my breath and her hand reached around me, brushing against my side as she moved it past me, closing the door behind me.

She trailed her hand from my cheek to my neck, one hand wrapped around my neck and letting the other drip down my chest.

She leaned her head close until her breath hit my ear. She took a few breaths and whispered "I love you" into my ear.

She stepped back and pulled her jacket off to reveal that she was wearing nothing but lingerie.

I finally breathed again, inhaling sharply and looking at her. She bit her lip and stepped back to me, taking my face in her hands.

She pulled my head down and slammed her lips against mine hard.

I couldn't help myself, I gripped her hips and pulled her harder against me. She bit my lip and tugged my hair so hard I gasped.

She slipped her tongue in my mouth and jumped on me, wrapping her legs around me tightly, wasting no time in rubbing on me.

"I want you, need you" she whispered to me, and I coughed, looking at her in surprise, but she had already leaned her head into my shoulder, kissing my neck and biting it, flicking her tongue out to lick it.

I couldn't help myself, I forget the anger I had towards her, it was drowned by the lust in the moment. Nothing mattered but her and I right then.

I felt better with her with me, and I couldn't deny that, especially when she's here rubbing against me, kissing my neck, tugging on my hair.

I stumbled over to the bed, having trouble thinking clearly with her hanging on me the way she was.

I dropped her on the bed and crawled over her, and she grabbed my neck, pulling me down on her, kissing me hard again, tugging my hair, rubbing up on me, grinding her hips into mine.

She reached a hand down my neck, slowly running it down my chest, her nails brushing against my skin, making me shudder and breathe jaggedly.

She bit my lip and I felt her hand at my waistband. She slipped her fingers inside and started to pull them down, brushing against my dick as she did. I moaned softly and took her ass in my hands, squeezing it.

~

I woke up with a start, breathing deeply and running a hand through my hair, sighing.

Another dream. Another torturous dream.

The first tour was officially over. We played our last set just a few hours ago. And every night I was woken up by dreams.

It was 2 am, and I was wide-awake, lifting weights. I couldn't sleep, or rather, I didn't want to.

Nothing good came from my dreams anymore. They were just replays of memories, of the night Ryker left, the day she came back. They were filled with all the wrong things she did, the wrong things I did.

And then there were the nightmares filled with all the things that could happen to Ryker. Death, rape, abuse, overdose. Anything could happen to her.

The worst were the dreams of her with me. Like the one I just had, where none of it happened, or we made up, or anything.

It hurt. A lot. Because it was such a dream, it was so nice, and when I woke up and realized that none of it was real it made me want to dig myself a grave and curl up in it forever.