Goodbye Graceful (Ronnie Radke love story, 3rd book in The Drug In Me series )

81. Plot

**** 19 chapters left! Crazy, it's still not registered quite yet. ****

"August."

His hand moved to rub the back of his neck, sifting through the wavy brown locks that hung just below his ear. A habit he had always exhibited when he was nervous.

He was lean and rather lanky, and I wondered briefly if he still played hockey before shaking my thoughts away. I'm supposed to be mad at him, right?

All the rage and distrust I had felt for him had disappeared as soon as I read his texts. I felt lousy, seeing his pathetic, desperately apologetic messages. I was an ass, wasn't I? Damn.

He wasn't the only one who should apologize. I had left him hanging for months, not even giving him a chance. Wasn't I always preaching about giving people a chance to explain themselves after trying to do the same with Ronnie? I was being a hypocrite by not giving him a chance.

"Hi." My throat was dry, but I pushed the words out.

"August, as in Ry's twin August? I'm Ronnie, why don't you sit?" Ronnie was blind to my urgent looks to stop talking, but August caught it, looking away guiltily while Ronnie easily pulled him down in the booth next to him.

"So what brings you here then?" Ronnie, clearly sensing the awkward atmosphere, took it upon himself to make the conversation.

I couldn't decide whether I wanted to cry in joy or cry in angry, upset angst. I'm not even a teenager anymore, I have no excuse for being a piss-ant, and yet here I am.

I'm throwing a goddamn tantrum. Granted, August did some shitty things, but I had as well, and I really was being a raging hypocrite not hearing him out.

"Well, I actually leave at the end of the week, I have to get back to school. I just came to see-" August looked at me shiftily before coughing his words back. "Anyways, I don't want to interrupt your date...."

"Nonsense, it's alright. The conversation got stale anyways." Ronnie gave me a pointed look and I shook my head at him, internally groaning.

After a few minutes of cringe-worthy silence filled with awkward looks and pursed lips, I gave in. "How have you been?" My mouth was dry, my words hushed.

August looked at me, his eyes holding back emotions that I wasn't sure I wanted to see.

"Well, I graduated last week. Now I'm going to be getting my Master's." I spit out my drink, spurting it on my plate as I looked at August in disbelief.

"What?! Oh my god, I didn't - I didn't know." Well now I definitely felt shitty. I had missed his graduation because I was a stubborn asshole who held grudges closer to me than family. Sister of the year award goes to me.

"Well, you never really texted me back, or answered my calls, but it doesn't matter. I sent Leah the video, you can watch it," he looked down ashamed, "only if you want. It's cool, whatever though."

"Of co-" I narrowed my eyes at him, gripping the table in my fists. "Did you say Leah? As in, my best friend and roommate, Leah?"

August nodded, avoiding my eyes.

"Since when have you been talking to her?!"

"Well, a few months I guess? She answered your phone and we sort of talked and then, yeah."

"Is that how you found me? What, did she plan this?" I wasn't mad, but I was thrown off and unsettled by this new knowledge. Why did they talk, and, more importantly, what exactly did they talk about?

"She told me a lot about what happened to you," August once again refused to meet my eyes, "I'm sorry I didn't protect you." He laughed a little, though it sounded sad rather than amused. "Though, you always were the one to try and save everyone. Never wanted to ask for help, even if it cost you. That's just how you were. Seems that you haven't lost that habit. Still, I should've tried harder to protect you."

I coughed to hide the growing lump in my throat, looking away and blinking quickly to fight the coming tears.

"It's in the past now. I'd prefer it stayed there."

"Still, I should have, I mean, it was horrible-" one glare from me stopped August mid-sentence.

I gritted my teeth, looking at the ceiling. "I said, I'd prefer to leave the past in the past."

I couldn't take it anymore, the space was growing increasingly uncomfortable and I felt like I would choke or suffocate or suffer a heart attack if I stayed any longer.

Quickly, I stood up and fled the restaurant, finding Ronnie's car and leaning against it.

I was breathing deeply, trying to calm my heartbeat and control my hyperventilating, but too soon 2 pairs of shoes were in front of mine.

I looked up, biting my lip hard enough to leave teeth marks, and Ronnie stepped forward, reaching a hand out.

But before he could grab my hand, August was in my face, and I couldn't stop him before he caged me in his lean arms, pulling me to him and hugging me tighter than I ever remembered from him. He never was a hugging type anyways. Why now?

I stared desperately at Ronnie for a few moments, before accepting that I wasn't getting away anytime soon.

I gave in to my battling emotions, putting my arms up to hook under his arms, resting them on his shoulders as I sighed softly.

"I missed you, bitch." He spoke soft enough for only me to hear.

I chuckled lightly, recalling the many times we had done this. It was kind of our thing.

"Me too, twat."

Sighing softly, I mentally told myself to remember to thank Leah and her nosy, meddling ass.

Ronnie was smiling at me, crossing his arms and nodding as if he had expected all of this. I ignored his knowing look, briefly wondering if he was in on the plot. I'd have to ask him later. I couldn't be mad if he was.

For now, I took advantage of August's loving, apologetic embrace.