Goodbye Graceful (Ronnie Radke love story, 3rd book in The Drug In Me series )

52. Pizza Profession

**** I hope you guys enjoy! It's a little bit of a relief after the feels of last chapter I hope ****

*Ryker*

I still hadn't left the couch since I sat down after getting back from talking to Ronnie. It was what, 2 pm then? Now it was 6 pm. I had to pee like a motherfucker, but I didn't want to move.

I was replaying those perfect moments before I fucked it up with my bitterness. He looked so different from before all this happened.

His hair was shaved on one side, left more straight rather than poofed out a bit, and he just looked older altogether.

I didn't know what to think. I mean, we had been having a semi decent conversation, or at least, we weren't yelling at each other. And then I got all pissy and ruined everything.

That's not to say he didn't help further the conversation....

'I don't love you'

He doesn't love me.

He doesn't love me.

He. Doesn't. Love. Me.

How had I not known it before? I had, but there was a part of me, minuscule, microscopic, teeny tiny, but still present, that dared to hope, dream, wish, hold on to the thought that he may still love me. I thought that there was hope for me. For us.

It was stupid.

I couldn't think about it, it made me sick, it made me fucking sick to even think about it.

So then, what should I do? It's hard to not think about it, it was only the worst thing that's happened today.

I was interrupted, finally, by someone grabbing me and I found myself promptly pulled onto Ashley's lap.

I tried to give him a patronizing look, but he just smiled and I groaned, smiling back.

Truthfully, I was beyond relieved.

Trust Ashley to always pick me up when I get too down. Literally.

I grinned at him and leaned back, laying my head on his shoulder and resting against his neck.

He turned on the TV and then we were watching some football game, except it kept zooming in on the cheerleaders, but of course.

Ashley was fine with it, so hell if I cared. As long as he was comfortable I was fine. I closed my eyes and pressed myself farther into Ashley's back, trying to make it so his warmth chased away the cold bitterness that had taken over my body.

It seemed to work, and soon I was dozing off with his arms comfortably around my waist.

I heard someone come in, and there was muffled whispers, but I just ignored it, sighing softly and shifting to sit sideways in Ashley's lap, moving to cuddle farther into his neck.

"I can see why people ship it," someone was whispering.

I nearly choked, and I looked up at Ashley in surprise before snorting and laughing out of control.

It was unattractive as hell, but what was Ashley gonna do, tell me? I didn't care if he thought I was unattractive, and he didn't care either. It's not something that's particularly important, or important at all.

I shook my head out after I managed to calm myself from the laughing attack, and I curled back into Ashley's lap and yawned.

Sure, it was only 7 oclock, but it had been a long day, and I had been up since 2 am.