Goodbye Graceful (Ronnie Radke love story, 3rd book in The Drug In Me series )

29. Missing Only Gets Harder With Age

**** I'm sorry for the long delay guys, I've been dealing with some personal problems and such have not felt able to write a chapter for you guys. Thank you for understanding and not going 'bruh update it's been 5ever whot u doin m8' ....

Okay maybe that's a bit over exaggerated but meh.

I just felt bad that I hadn't updated so here I am again, I'm back ( for now.) I can't promise that I will be able to jump back into daily updates for a while, sorry, but I'm trying.

I have opened this draft many times and tried to update but I just couldn't do it guys, I'm really sorry :/

Oh, and if you know songs that remind you of this story or characters or scenes, I'd love to hear them!

I hope you enjoy. ****

*Ryker*

I ran hazardously, not caring that I probably looked completely, utterly crazy. I was too worn out to care. My heart was bursting out of my chest, my lungs were exploding, my stomach was getting torn apart by carnivorous butterflies, and my legs burned but still I ran. 

I ran until I got to my apartment building, and then I ran more. When I made it to my apartment I tried to unlock to door in vain. I couldn't get the damn key in right and the door kept moving.... 

No, it wasn't the door that was moving, it was my hand, it was shaking so badly I felt like maybe there was an earthquake, but I was the only one affected. I swore loudly and then slid to the floor crying, exhausted from everything. 

My tears came out like rivers, my breath in puffs, and I couldn't bring myself to get up until I had silently cried myself dry. Then I got up, catatonic, and numbly unlocked the door, closing it and dropping the key in the bowl on the counter. 

I barely saw Leah's note saying that she was going out with Ryan and to text me anytime. I should text her to say that I was back safe, but I didn't feel like I could type that. 

And was I safe? No, I wasn't safe, wasn't fine. I  wasn't anything. 

All I could feel was the intense pain, the horrible longing for Ronnie. Every second I missed him more, with every breath another part of me disintegrated into nothingness. Without him, I was incomplete, empty, lacking in everything that could possibly make me any more than a living, breathing puppet. 

I stumbled to bed and fell on it, closing my eyes and shaking until I fell asleep. 

~

When I woke up, there was a figure standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame, looking at me. 

Curved arms, muscles popping, tattoos, and dark hair cascading over a neck, brushing against shoulders. 

I sat up, but for some reason, I didn't feel scared. Instead, I felt like my insides were in turmoil, but there was an extra weight on me. I felt full, completely, utterly, perfectly full; I felt complete. 

The figure started walking closer, and when they were right in front of me, I saw confirmation in his face that I was right about who it was.

Ronnie. 

I stared up at him, without saying anything. The air was tight, but it wasn't a bad feeling; it was like the walls were closing in, but for once claustrophobia didn't kick in, because it was pushing Ronnie and I closer together and soon he was pushing me back on the bed, and I was staring into his eyes and they seemed to be different-there was no anger, no hate in them. 

There was no need for words, because as soon as Ronnie pressed his lips on mine in a soft, tender kiss, I knew everything that I needed to. He was back with me, and I was back with him. And everything was fine again. 

It was completely silent, save for the sound of our breathing and the heavy pounding of our hearts. 

I pressed my chest against his, pushing into him as far as I could, so that our hearts could beat together and we could mesh into a bloody mess of two bodies in love. 

We stripped and then we were a tangle of limbs and it may have looked hectic and crazed, but to me, it was perfect. This was how it should be, never knowing where I ended and he began, because we were one, our naked bodies tangled into a mess of limbs and beating hearts and wet lips and raw, burning skin. 

~

The silence was interrupted, however, by loud beeping, and then I was waking up alone, tangled in sheets and cold with loneliness. 

I sighed and reached into my pocket to see a text from Andy. 

Curious, I opened it to see one word. "Echo." 

I knew what it meant. 

Echo had been acting weird lately. Her confidence had been built up, and no longer was she shy and sweet. She was rude and utterly wrapped up in so much of her bullshit I wondered how she could possibly keep up with it all. She had dropped Luna and I a little while ago, saying she would find better and leaving us coughing up the dusty bullshit she left with us. 

So I sort of knew this would happen, but Andy hadn't wanted to believe it. 

But I know it happened.

She had broken up with him. 

I didn't bother texting back; instead, I dialed his number and waited for him to pick up. 

When he did, he said nothing, there was just silence. 

I sighed and said "Come over. I have mint patties, alcohol, a nice couch, and Batman." 

There was something that vaguely resembled a laugh and then the phone clicked off and I knew he was coming. 

Poor Andy, he didn't deserve this, he should have someone who appreciates him and the beauty in all of him, not just his fame and what can be gained from him. I would help him as much as I could. 

I got mints, popcorn, and beer out and put in on the little coffee table in front of the couch, put in Batman, and set out all the Batman movies that I had. 

Then I heard the doorbell, and I checked the peephole before opening the door and hugging Andy before pulling him in and locking the door. I led Andy to the couch and handed him a beer. 

I put my arm around Andy and sort of side-cuddled him, which should have been hard since he's a fucking giraffe, but wasn't all that difficult since he was slouching. 

We spent the entire night watching all the Batman movies, drinking beer, eating popcorn, pizza and mints and cuddling, somewhat awkwardly but comforting all the same. I'd like to say I helped, but I don't think I did much more than numb him a bit, but it was better than nothing. 

At the end of the last Batman, I drifted off with Andy, his head on my shoulder, my head on the arm rest. 

I woke up a few hours later, groggy. It was 4 am, and I probably had to pee, but Andy was still asleep and I didn't want to wake him because he seemed serene in his sleep and I just knew that in his dreams, Echo either hadn't changed or had never met him so he wasn't hurt, and I couldn't, wouldn't ruin that for him. 

So I just closed my eyes again and soon enough I was asleep again, cuddled under Andy's tall frame. 

We both slept peacefully, drifting into a dreamland where our loves hadn't left us.