Goodbye Graceful (Ronnie Radke love story, 3rd book in The Drug In Me series )

{Request 1 }

**** Don't get too excited, but I have some news:

There is a possibility of a prequel being released for this series, eventually! It would most likely entail the story of Ryker getting arrested and her time in juvy and jail.

If, because it is a huge if, I do write it, it won't be anytime soon, because I am going to be working on my music career very seriously so the main thing I'll be writing is lyrics, so I'll be very busy. Even so, there is a {slight} possibility!

Please request for the next 5 bonus chapters so I can write what you would like! It can be anything, and you can privately message me if you prefer that over commenting. Seriously, it can be smut, it can be outlandish, pretty much anything besides twincest, as, again, I have a twin and that makes me uncomfortable.

In other news, I'm going on vacation in Europe to visit my old home and travel to some of my favourite countries from my childhood, so I may not be able to update for a while, depends on the WiFi quality

Request 1, I hope you enjoy it ****

{Before August and Mae's wedding:}

It was the night before the wedding, and Mae and August had invited everyone out for Bachelorette and Bachelor party respectively.

Everyone except me, that is.

No, I was stuck at home with my parents, and I was extremely worried that I would break down and run away the night before the wedding.

No, I had to stay, I couldn't do that to August, or Mae.

They were planning something, I knew it. This was a ploy against me.

But there was nothing I could do, not without risking ruining the wedding tomorrow.

This was a cruel trick, really.

There was the sound of singing outside my bedroom door, and I cursed, knowing I didn't have a lock.

The door opened, and I looked at my parents blankly as they marched in with a cake, candles lit as they belted out the Happy Birthday song.

In 2 different languages, just as they used to.

I had to sit through the English and French songs, when I wanted nothing more than to run away.

When they were done, they looked at me hopefully.

"It's not my birthday, but good to know you're still as careless about me as you used to be!"

I smiled darkly at them, and my mother looked as if she was actually in pain, while my dad looked to the side awkwardly.

"We just thought.... it was for all the birthdays that we missed."

My nose burned, and I could feel the tears rising, making my anger rise with it.

No, they couldn't make me cry.

They couldn't try to be nice now.

It was too late!

It was too late, right?

Yes, it had to be too late now.

I didn't respond, and my mom cut the cake on my old desk, handing me a slice.

I didn't take it, so she lay it on the bed in front of me awkwardly.

I felt like a teenager again, wasn't I too old for this shit? This whole cold shoulder thing, it was too familiar, too painfully familiar.

I had never been a very nice kid. I always caused trouble. So, really, I couldn't blame them for hating me, right?

I looked at the cake suspiciously.

It was cheesecake.

My favourite.

At least they got that right.

This was too much.

"What, are you trying to poison me so I won't destroy your wedding plans tomorrow?"

My mother dabbed her eyes, and my dad looked severely uncomfortable.

And I realized that I was the only one in this situation that was being nasty.

But they were horrible, right?

They had been.

Why are they acting like they want to fix it?

It's not like they care, right?

"Look, we hate seeing you here and not being able to speak with you. We want this family to be whole again. Please, it hasn't been the same without you."

Yeah, it's probably been so much nicer and calmer without me.

My family was never good with speaking their feelings. This was the closest that I would get to an 'I miss you' I knew.

I tried so hard to hold onto the rage, so that I could punish them, so I could make them feel as bad as I did when they left me.

I wanted to destroy them like they had destroyed me.

Instead, Mr. Willows' words from my last session with him came to mind.

"I know you want other people to hurt like you do. But hurt breeds more hurt. You'll never fully recover if you keep holding onto that pain. Some things you just have to let go, because it's going to get worse if you keep spreading the pain onto other people. It's not your pain they're feeling, and you don't lose the hurt when you inflict it onto others as well. Let it go so you can move on and get better."

Now, I felt bad for making an analogy about the hurt being like gas that was painful to hold in, that you had to let rip.

At the time, it had seemed funny.

But Mr. Willows knew that I coped with humour and hate, so he didn't take it personally.

With his wisdom finally set in my mind, the meaning sinking into my brain, I looked at my parents' eyes.

"I'm sorry, Ryker."

My throat closed up, and the tears I had held back until then freed themselves in a torrent.

My father never apologized. Never.

I nodded slightly, and the tense atmosphere shifted into an almost comfortable ambience.