Goodbye Graceful (Ronnie Radke love story, 3rd book in The Drug In Me series )

89. Baby Brother

**** Only a few chapters left, it's coming to an end. ****

"You're - you're getting married! Oh man, holy shit! Why didn't you tell me you were gonna propose to Mae, idiot?!" 

I spoke a bit too loudly, and soon everyone was crowding around me, asking questions and shoving their heads against mine, trying to hear through the phone.

"It was a secret, I didn't want to risk someone else hearing. Listen, we're getting married next week. I know it's short notice, but we didn't want to wait. It's just going to be a simple wedding, so we don't need that many preparations."

I couldn't speak.

My baby brother was getting married. Sure, he was only younger by 5 minutes, but those 5 minutes meant a lot to me. He was my little baby brother, all grown up and getting married. It was all so sudden, I didn't know what to say.

I was happy, of course, but the reality that he was getting married just reminded me that he was all grown up, not the lanky teenager that I had known before everything had happened. I had missed so much of his life. It made me sad to think of him going through schooling, graduating without me.

I wonder if anyone gave him problems because of me? Having a sister in jail certainly wasn't the best impression you could make on the spoiled brats living in the privileged suburbs. It did give him street cred though, I'm sure. I felt horrible.

He had matured so much, and now he was getting married? Soon, he'd be having kids, and then his kids would be having kids, and then he would grow old.

He would die.

God, no, I couldn't think like that. I closed my eyes and counted backwards, just as Mr. Willows had instructed when this happened. I needed to calm down, death was always a possibility, I couldn't let it control me like this.

This was good news, I told myself. This is good news. Of course this was good news! This was going to make August happy. That's what mattered. This is what August wants, so I want it too. Anything to put a smile on his face.

"Ryker, you still there?" August sounded nervous, as if he thought I was upset because of this.

Oh, the opposite. As long as I didn't think of the impending death that came with growing up, I didn't see anything wrong with this. Mae was a lovely girl, and they obviously loved each other very much. It seemed perfect to me, actually.

"Yeah Gusi, I'm here." I felt the excitement growing as I imagined seeing a beautiful Mae walking down the aisle to August, a goofy grin on his face, both full of love and adoration.

Yes, this was good.

"So, will you come home? I need you there, I can't get married without my other half."

As if that was even an option! Of course I would come.

I started crying. It wasn't my best moment, and I was really embarrassed, but I was just so immensely happy, and picturing the marriage was making me all sentimental and shit.

"Of course I'll be there, I can't let my baby brother get married without being there."

"5 minutes RyRy, 5 minutes."

"Well, back in my day-"

"Yeah yeah, back in your day people respected their elders, blah blah blah.
Your friends are invited okay, the ones from the end of the birthday birthday party. But please, behave you crazy party animal."

I snorted at his teasing.

"Okay, I'll see you soon baby brother."

August sighed, but I could tell it was a happily frustrated sigh.

"You better, Ryker."

He hung up before I could respond.

I sat down, almost in a daze, as I let the news sink in.

August and Mae were getting married in a week.

I was going home.

Fuck, I was going home.

I hadn't even thought of it before. I was too enveloped around the fact that my baby brother was getting married. But, I was going home. I'd see August and Mae.

But I'd also see my family.

I'd have to face my family, after all this time, after recovering so much, I was going to throw myself back into the fire.

I would have to face my parents, the ones who seemed to hate me after everything that happened. I'd have to face my sister Kari, who thought I was insane.

I started shaking just thinking about it.

After they had come and seen me, acting as if they were the victims, I hadn't even considered ever seeing them again. And now I would have to spend a week with them? If they even said one thing to me -

No, I couldn't cause a scene. I wouldn't do that.

I was used to being the problematic person. Not anymore. I was done that. New life, new me, all that jazz. I wanted to keep that.

I didn't want to be the person who ruined good things, not anymore. I wanted to make sure that everything went perfectly for my baby brother's wedding - I wanted only the best for him.

If I had to ignore them, I would. But would that ruin things too? Would that be considered problematic? August probably wanted a happy family together.

Could I pull that off, really? I could at least try to be civil to them, and if they were rude, then I'm sure August would understand why I ignored them.

I would have my friends there to distract me as well. It couldn't be too bad, right?

I could do this. I had to. For August.

I'd do anything for August. Even this. I wouldn't ruin August and Mae's wedding, not for anything.