Chapter Thirty-Three
Go ahead and blame who you wanna blame
it's not going to change anything
"Alex, stop that." Mum scolded as I started to play with the tape that held my IV. I only rolled my eyes, not really caring if Mum got pissed at me or not. I was bored and just wanted to go home... But I knew that was the last thing I was going to get to do.
And I understood why...
I just didn't want to accept it.
"Can we go home yet? We've been here for two days." I sighed, looking at Mum who just shook his head. He had bags underneath his eyes and a permanent frown on his face. You would almost think that it was him who was stuck in a hospital bed as they decided whether or not your baby was dead.
"They have to make sure everything is okay with the baby, Alex." Mum says tiredly, closing his eyes for a moment as he takes a deep breath. I felt bad... he didn't have to be here, yet I wasn't letting him leave.
"I know, but I don't think restricting me to bed rest is going to increase my odds here." I whispered, feeling a little guilty for the fact that it sounded like I didn't care. I did... I just didn't know how to show it... It almost didn't seem real to me...
It felt like this was just some sort of joke that Mum and Jack were pulling on me...
But I knew it wasn't.... and I couldn't really accept the fact that at any given moment my baby's heart will stop beating.
I hadn't even picked out a name...
"They're just being cautious... For the love of god, stop picking at your IV." Mum groans out, running a hand across his face.
"I'm sorry... I just... I need something to distract me." I said, moving my hand away from the IV. I bit my bottom lip as I looked down at the white hospital sheets. Mum lets out a sigh before sitting down on the bed next to me, grabbing my hand.
"It's going to be okay Alex." Mum says, obviously trying to make me feel better.
"I'm scared Mum." I whispered, letting a few tears slip out of my eyes as I finally said how I was feeling. Mum just wraps around me, letting me lean my head on his shoulder.
"It's okay to be scared." Mum whispers, rubbing my arm as I cried quietly. I just let him hold me like that for what felt like hours but was really only minutes. It was interrupted by Mum's phone going off, Dad's ringtone filling the room. I let out a small laugh, mainly due the fact that it was the same ringtone it had always been.
"You really should change that." I said as Mum answered his phone. Mum just rolled his eyes, a bright smile on his face. He walked out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I bit my lip as I looked over at my own phone. I grabbed it after a moment, sighing as I saw there was no new messages or calls.
Not that I was really expecting any.
I knew he would give up eventually.
I would.
I did.
"That was your dad... I guess Aiden decided it would be a good idea to go sledding down the stairs... although I'm almost positive your dad was on the sled with him. I'm going to head home and send him here, will you be okay by yourself for like an hour?" Mum rambles, looking a little worried as he speaks. I just give him a small smile before nodding. Mum doesn't seem convinced though, a frown on his face as he looks at me. I can tell he's trying to figure me out, trying to make sure that I'm not lying.
"I'll be fine. Dad doesn't have to be here either... I'll be okay on my own." I said, but I wasn't really sure if I was telling the truth or not. I didn't want him to go, but I knew that my siblings needed him more than I did right now.
"I'm still sending your dad. I love you bean, everything's gonna be okay." Mum smiles before kissing the top of my head, and without another word he was gone. It was then that I finally let it all out. I just stared blankly at the wall for a minute or two, silent tears rolling down my cheeks. I rubbed at my eyes before looking up at the ceiling.
That's when I let a few sobs escaped my lips, the tightness in my chest becoming a little too much.
I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore.
And just when I thought everything was going to fall apart underneath my feet, a pair of arms wrapped around me. His familiar scent washes over me, his chest pressed firmly against my side as I cried.
"I got you A.J.... I got you." He whispers quietly into my ear, holding me as tightly as he could. I couldn't find the energy to say anything back to him and instead I relished in the moment that he was actually here.
He holds me for what feels like hours, constantly reassuring me that everything was going to be okay.... That he's here now
And he's never going to leave...
No matter what.
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I hate wattpad. It's doing that stupid thing where it only saves half my draft and decides to change the published version to the draft.
F ucking hate this site sometimes.
So this is the same chapter from earlier. I'm just republishing it.
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Connie xx
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The Kids Aren't Alright (Shiver Spin-Off)
Fanfiction-| for the heroes who quit too late|- Cover by @ombre5sos