Creepy Experiences

Dream + SA Experience

January 5, 2024

TW: mentions of sex and sexual assault. 

The meaning I have for this song is innocence being stolen, making the sacred dirty, and a transformation in the wrong direction. 

Last night was the worst and I was violated horribly. I am going to focus on the dream I had last night first though. I was walking in a forest with a group of witches going to a school of witchcraft. The forest had pine trees and large mountains everywhere. Something was off about it. I felt like I wasn't in the human world because the mountains seemed to float and some of the crevices were too large. There was an instructor. A woman with a witch's hat leading our group. Then we found a dead body. I don't remember the cause of death, but somehow my instructor disintegrated the body. 

The next part of the dream felt like a flashback. I was talking to President Snow from the Hunger Games. There was a flashback to these two contestants who were gay. Then I accused him of killing them brutally by burning them. Sorry, my imagination is strange sometimes. In the next scene, I saw Wolf. It looked like we were out of the woods. He was holding my new puppy. I glared at him and then we talked. He didn't seem to be bothered by my expression. I told him to give me back my dog, but he stepped back and kept holding her. 

Another thing I wanted to update on was my symptoms. I haven't been acting like myself. A few days ago, I was yelling and cussing about something small. I had no reason to snap like that since I was having a good day and with unexpected good news from a card reading. During the reading, I asked if any cps were my soulmate or twin flame and got a no. I was doing the reading with my spirit team. I also asked if the cps are going to kidnap me and got a no.

News like this could have been heard by a cp and angered them. They would have interpreted this as bad news. Then due to my empathy, their emotions transferred to me. Yesterday was even stranger. I had this feeling of wanting to run on my hands and legs. After when I went outside, I started running around the yard and jumping through all the fences. I felt like I was acting more like an animal than a human. 

Last night, I talked to Wolf before I fell asleep and I accused him of pouring his energy into mine. When he does this, I start to act like him. He does this because he wants to prove that I am like him and corruptible. Then he told me that he also used the intention of making me more submissive to him. This meant that I would have a harder time disobeying him and would get turned on by him more. I think he did this the night before. Anyway, last night he wasn't alone and was extremely domineering with me. He wanted me to submit, but I never did. 

A few hours later, I attempted to banish him, but I couldn't do it. I should also mention that another similarity that Wolf shares with real wolves is that he sleeps on top of me. Wolves pile themselves on top of one another to stay warm and he does that to me when I sleep on my stomach. It's kind of hard to sleep when you feel the weight of another person on top of you. Plus he kept on molesting me sexually. I don't want to get into those details. 

Last night he also tried to convince me that I am his, but I didn't believe him. The interaction was weird. It was like,

"You are mine."

"A person should not be possessed and I'm not your pet."

"You are mine."

"No"

"Mine"

"No"

"Mine"

silence

I didn't like how he was trying to convince me in such a childish way. I reminded him about how my spirit team says that he isn't my soulmate or twin flame and that he won't be able to kidnap me. Then I went on a rant about how our relationship is so dysfunctional because he doesn't listen when I say no. During that rant, he stopped moving and I hoped he would listen but he did not. I think he believes that when I say no, it is just a challenge that can be proven wrong. He doesn't understand that his feelings don't justify his actions, because he is in control of his choices. I wish that he wasn't so abusive.  

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