Reckless Symphony (Book 1) || A Rafe Cameron Fan Fiction

Chapter 13

The two sat in silence for a minute just passing the joint to each other, both making mental notes not to even glance at each other.

"Do you ever think about just dying?" Rafe asked, catching Raven off guard.

"In what sense?"

"Just like, finally having silence," He rolled his eyes, mad she questioned.

"Yeah," She sighed.

"You should never have to feel that way," He handed her the joint.

She nodded, still not looking at him, but Rafe turned his glance to her. He studied her, even though she said that she had no emotion.

"Look at me," His voice was raspy, from the weed, and Raven tried to convince herself.

"I don't want to," She looked straight ahead still, lying through her teeth.

She wanted nothing more than to look at him and to kiss him, but for the sake of them both she wouldn't. She couldn't, because she wanted to cry.

"Raven, are you okay?" He asked.

"Why do you care?"

"Because I can't stand it when people cry," He huffed.

With that answer, Raven stood up and headed towards the stairs.

"Where are you going?" He was annoyed with her.

"You said you can't stand when people cry, so I'm saving you from fucking having to deal with it," She glared at him, then walked up the stairs.

He contemplated following her, but he decided against it because her response pissed him off. When she reached the room, she shut the door behind her, tears starting to fall down her face. She didn't know what set it off, her seeing her brother earlier, the talk about dying, but she started to freak out. Her breathing quickened and she tried to ground herself but she couldn't. She slid her back down the door, holding her head in her hands, starting to cry harder. Rafe heard her crying from downstairs and it didn't sit right with him, as if he was to be worried about her.

"Raven?" He called out but there was no answer.

He waited for a snarky comment but there was none. He stood up from the couch, put the blunt out in the ashtray, then walked up the stairs. He tried to gently push the door open but he couldn't, like there was something in the way. He pushed it open, noticing it was Raven up against it that was holding the door shut.

"Raven," His voice was quiet.

"Get the fuck away from me," She wasn't able to stop crying and her breathing was still hyper.

"Raven what's wrong," He knelt in front of her and tried to tilt her face up but she smacked him.

"GET AWAY," She yelled, attempting to kick him but she couldn't remember how to move her legs.

"I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU," He yelled back, pissed that the one time he tried to do something nice for her, she denied him.

"I DON'T WANT YOUR FUCKING HELP," More tears started running down her face, her breathing even faster.

She was having a panic attack, and he finally recognized it. He'd have them periodically about all sorts of things, causing him to scold himself for not recognizing sooner.

"You're having a panic attack, Raven, okay? You'll be okay," Rafe tried to stay calm with her, no matter how hard she was making it.

"I fucking know that," She tried to take a deep breath but couldn't, causing her to cry out of fear.