Reckless Symphony (Book 1) || A Rafe Cameron Fan Fiction

Chapter 22

Raven had sat there with Rafe in silence, them both staring at the wall.

"Wanna get high?" Raven asked, blankly.

"Yeah, hold on," Rafe left the room to go get a blunt.

When he came back he small thing of coke and a blunt. She didn't have any emotion right now, she was not there. She took the lit blunt from Rafe and took a long drag.

"Are you okay?" He looked at her, and she just shrugged, "Look at me."

She was still staring at the wall, "I don't know."

"Raven, look at me," He gently turned her face to him by her chin.

"What," She was blank.

"I don't want you to turn out like my fucked ass," He took the blunt from her.

"I was already you before I met you," She replied.

Those words sat with both of them. She was right, she was already fucked up but a least now she was around someone who kind of got it for once.

"You still have hope," He sighed.

"Shut up, Rafe," She whispered.

"You still have a future," He touched her arm.

"Shut up, Rafe," Her voice got louder, right under her normal talking voice.

"No, Raven, I'm serious," He sat back.

"SHUT. UP. RAFE," She yelled at him standing up.

"YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO ME," He yelled, standing up.

"NO," She started to cry, "YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO ME. YOU DON'T GET IT, I AM EXACTLY YOU. I'M THE BLACK SHEEP. I'M THE LEAST FAVORITE. I'M THE ONE WHO NEVER WAS LISTENED TO. I'M THE ONE WHO'S FUCKED UP. RAFE. I AM YOU," Raven yelled.

"Raven-" He whispered.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME," She started to cry hard, and stormed out of the room, downstairs to the front door.

She didn't know where she was going but he heard her coming after her. She heard his footsteps and it made her angry. She didn't mean him right now, she didn't want him right now, she didn't want anyone right now, she couldn't breathe.

"RAVEN YOU'RE HAVING A PANIC ATTACK AGAIN, YOU'RE OKAY," He yelled after her, but she started to run.

He heard him running after her, she finally slowed down and she heard him coming up behind her. He grabbed her in her arms and hugged her tightly. She couldn't breathe, she was crying so hard and the running added to it.

"Listen, let me. Help you," He held her close to him.

She shook her head no and kept crying.

"Raven, listen to me, I have you, you're stable, you're okay," He whispered, so she could focus on his voice.

She dropped to the ground, him still holding her, him still holding her as she sobbed. He cradled her in his lap as she cried, she started to hyperventilate because she wasn't breathing correctly.

"Hey, hey, breathe in," He took a deep breath and then held it for a few seconds, letting it out as she copied him.

They both repeated this action four more times and she finally got her breathing under control.

"Listen to me," He spoke quietly to her, her looking into his eyes, "I'm your punching bag, let me in, I can take it, okay? Let me help you."

"Who's going to help you though," She whispered.

"That's none of your concern, alright?" He held her close to him.

He hated to admit it but he has grown to realize that he fucking cares about this girl. He didn't know to what extent but he sure as fuck cares about her.

"I'll fucking protect you with my life, Raven, I fucking mean it," He still was holding her close to him.

She listened to his words, she didn't know if she could believe him, and she didn't know how to react to what he said. She was already in a panicked state of mind, how was she supposed to process anything normal?

"I'm sorry I ran," She whispered.

"Stop, you don't need to apologize to me for anything," He mumbled into her ear.

"Don't tell Sarah," She whispered.

She didn't want her best friend worried about her, the thought of Sarah worrying fucking killed her inside, made her sick. She felt physically ill.

"I'm gonna throw up," She pushed herself off of him and threw up in the grass, so he held her hair back.

"Let it all out," He rubbed her neck, as she threw up.

"Thank you," She wiped her mouth, and he helped her stand up.

"I'll have to give it to you, you run fucking fast," He nudged her.

"I did track," She let out as much of a real laugh as she could.

"Good," He stifled a laugh.

The two walked down the road silently back to the house. She ran a mile in thirty seconds, which was about what she would do in Track. When they went back to the house she went upstairs and brushed her teeth in the bathroom, so she could get the taste of puke out of her mouth. Rafe went back to his room, and Raven realized Sarah was asleep. She had slept through all of the yelling which Raven was glad about, because she didn't want to have to answer any questions. She decided she was going to take a shower, to try to get her mind straight. She grabbed a pair of pajamas and went into her bathroom. She turned on the shower and music on her phone, to try to drown out everything. I Love You by Billie Eilish started playing through her phone as she stepped in the shower. She quietly sang along to the song, as she washed her entire body. A few more songs played through the playlist, as she just sat there in the big shower.

"Hey Raven! You in there?" Sarah asked.

"Yea! Shower!" She yelled, and then Sarah opened the door.

"My god you'd think you'd be hotboxing yourself," She laughed.

"Just steam," Raven laughed, and Sarah sat on the toilet.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Sarah questioned, causing Raven to freeze, "You were crying pretty hard earlier."

"Oh yeah, no, I'm fine, just thought about my dad, and just, I never really grieved, you know?" Raven told the truth, that is what happened when Sarah came and checked on her.

"Yeah, I just wanted to make sure, wanna make sure my best friend is okay," She smiled.

"I love you, Sarah, thank you," Raven smiled.

"I love you too, Raven," She stood up and grabbed Raven's towel, setting it on the toilet seat, "My dad is making me run errands even though he's not home, so I'll see you when I get back."

"Alright, be safe, we need to have a movie night when you get home, okay? deal?" Raven grinned grabbing the towel and wrapping it around her.

"OH MY GOD YES! I'LL GET SNACKS WHILE I'M OUT!" She grinned.

---

Hello everybody!!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter !!! I like including mental health in literally all my books and I feel like it is a perfect book to include mental health in <333

i love you all so much <333

1194 Words!