Chapter 11: Torn

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Fantasia's POV

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Fantasia's POV

"Do you mind if I eat my food in your car? Girl, I'm so hungry, I could eat at Arby's!"

"Arby's??? Wow you really ARE hungry." I exaggerate and we both snicker.

Taraji & I have so many inside jokes it's crazy. She opens the back seat of my car and puts her bag and coat down.

"Yes, you can. But don't drop no crumbs in my Mas' or you gone be getting my truck cleaned. I warn while pointing towards the floor.

"I'm nottt, I'm not. I promise. I also think I may need to lay down on way home because I'm feeling dizzy." Taraji wines.

Taraji's POV
Damn, as much as this night went to absolute shit, I'm not ready for it to end. I'm sobering up a little but my mind is still spinning. I don't even know what all I did or said...but maybe since I've been extremely honest about everything, there's no point in holding back anymore.
Maybe I should actually be more vocal about what I'm thinking and feeling, with Fantasia.

"Tasia...even though I don't completely remember every single thing I said tonight, I do want to make it crystal clear that I meant every word. My inhibitions slip away when I drink, but I never lie. As the saying goes, a drunk mind speaks a sober heart.."

I say self assuredly. I shrug my shoulders and lean against the car with the door still open.

Fantasia takes in my words & I examine her facial expressions carefully. Eyes glazed under the night sky. She glances upward as if she's thinking hard to herself. I can tell she's miles away.

"Where you at? What are you thinking about?" I pull her chin down gently so she's making eye contact with me.

"Taraji, I...I am just so confused. This has been probably the craziest 2 days of my entire life. I have so many mixed emotions. On one hand, I wanna do with what my mind is telling me. Focus on my acting, stay with Derek, keep doing everything that I've been doing so this don't get complicated. On the other hand...I wanna follow my heart. I think I really have some feelings for you I wanna explore..Non platonic ones. It doesn't make sense to me at all, T. Our connection is making me question everything & if somebody finds out about us, this can all go so wrong.."

Fantasia drops her head into her hands. I can't see her crying, but I can hear it. Tasia always been so strong, especially for me. I'm usually the one breaking down, or blowing up..
Now I gotta be strong for her.

"Hey.." I speak softly while I tenderly remove her hands from her face. Her makeup begins to run from red eyes wet filled with tears.
My heart hurts.

"I want you to just be here with me. Remember, you're not alone in your feelings. I feel the same way you do. I have feelings I wanna explore with you too..we just need to be strategic about it so this doesn't get out. Okay? And, and we will figure out the rest. We will figure out how to navigate with Michael and Derek soon.."

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