but i love her ~mattheo riddle x reader

i want to go home.

its been 3 days and we had went back to mattheos to get clothes and he could actually shower  with his own stuff. i sat there on his bed and just laid there. i happened to bring the spell book/ potion book/ everything it has everything. all i could do is sit there and read. granted im now at a year 6 level. maybe even higher then that. im still trying to do my own spells and potions to benefit the school, i even had ginny laugh and tell me maybe i should work there. i watched mattheo walk out the shower. "get this" i looked at him. "what?" "Auguamenti, a charm that created a jet of clear drinkable water ejected from the tip of the caster's wand. useful spell that could create anything from a trickle to a wave of water but could not be used against magical fire such as Fiendfyre." i spoke looking back at him. "a water spell that doesnt work on fire?" "we learn it next year. but i guess if theres only so much water it would work?" "whats the next one" "blue sparks, a charm that precipitated a jet of blue sparks from the tip of the wand.When such blue sparks were produced in large quantities, it was difficult to see or breathe when in the vicinity. best used for duelling" i looked back at him. "you cant wait until we go back huh" "i really cant" 

"you ready?" it was our first day back from summer and now we are returning once again. i sat on the train with draco reading more of the spell book. "y/n your already half way through the 6th year shouldnt you chill out" i looked at enzo. "i will shut up" i kept reading. over the break i went over all the years leading to this year. considering i knew half the stuff we will be learning already i think i should be just fine settling in. "hey babe" "hey mattheo" he somehow squeezed himself in. "move to a different table" draco spoke. "gladly" i looked at him moving to the table across from them. "shes still reading the 6th year spells and potions aspect of it" enzo started speaking. "i got bored and started looking at the unforgivable curses to see what as better in terms of making you shut up" i looked back at him. "shes moody leave her be" "that time of month?" "im going to shove my sock down your throat blaise" "the princess resorted to threats" but what he didnt expect was for my shoe to go flying towards him. "and i still have another one" i spoke looking at him. i watched theo sit across from me. "hes playing with fire" "who said it" i looked all of them. "mattheo did" i gave him a look. "your lucky i fucking like you" "you hear that im the lucky one" he sooner or later ended up getting hit by my shoe. "dont be cocky next time" "y/n" "what theo" "whats ascendio" "its a incantation of a charm which flings the targeted item or person into the air. but it also works underwater" i looked at him. "draco your sister is a super genius. "whats today?" "august 31" "ah cool" the train felt like it took forever and in the end mattheo took my book. "he done woke up the beast" i took off my last shoe and started hitting theo with it. "mattheo" "y/n" "SIT" "okay" "walking him like a damn dog" i turned around to look at blasie shoe in hand. "if i can have my other shoe. that would be excellent" i was handed my other shoe and i left it at that. the weeks after werent much better either. i was really moody and upset all the fucking time. "y/n are you preg" "no dont even put that on my name" theo asking had caught the attention of mattheo. "when was your last period" he looked at me. "like last month i dont know" "you dont know?" "not off the top of my head. i write them down" and now we and by we i mean they were dragging me to my room. "last month on the 28th of july" "we fucked after that" "mattheo" "wait count the days" "y/n?"  "it should be 27 days apart" "29 days apart and your. y/n count" "i should have started august 28 or 29" "shes late mattheo" "how many days" "3" i just looked at them. and the knocks on my door didnt make them feel better. "im sorry why the fuck are you yelling" it was astoria. "astoria we are having an argument" "what?" "y/n doesnt think 3 days late for a period is a big deal, we do" theo looked at her. "y/n are you late?" "no" "fair. no its not bad. it could mean a couple of things. and im sensing you wont listen to y/n say it so i will" she shut the door and sat on my bed. "okay common things. although rare yeast infections, stress, sex, hormones, and so much more can throw off a cycle. so hypothetically if y/n had sex recently and her bodys not used to it, it can be thrown off. but knowing y/n its probably stress and hormones." "but we said she wasnt late" "and the look on both of your faces say otherwise. do not pregnancy scare y/n" and with that she left. "well?" they looked at me. "i dont have an infection. i am stressed and the sex might have done it" "i made her late" i looked at mattheo. "dude it is not your fault" "did she just" "yeah" "i have realized my mess up. i will see myself out of my own room" i spoke leaving and heading to dracos and right behind me they bolted in. "you can not just run away after that"  theo spoke. "what the fuck happened" blaise stared at them. " we were talking about how y/n is late for her period and then she called mattheo dude" "thats a double ouch" "late?" we all looked at draco. "mattheo i swear to god if you got my sister pregnant im going to kill you" "im pretty sure i didnt. we were safe" "made me take the morning after pill" i looked at pansy the only girl in the room. and we both started laughing. "whats funny" "oh you poor souls" she looked at them. "what?" "what pill" "plan b" i answered. "i guess you didnt tell him" "i didnt" "Tell me what" "mattheo, theo, draco. the morning after pill acts like a period. it gets rid of the egg that could have came in contact with sperm. thats why we only use it when we know we have to. and even if she is get an abortion pill" "no way" theo looked at her. "you guys are wusses" "what its its the only child they will ever have" i felt something in my system. "you can get your period on plan b, but its late as hell. oh and hurts so much worse" pansy was still explaining. "bathroom" i looked at draco. "what" "bathroom" i watched draco open the door and i ran in. "look at that morning sickness" draco spoke from behind the door. "UGHHHH" i yelled from behind the door. "i know that sound. let me in draco" and there in front of me was pansy. she handed me "what the fuck is this" "its a diaper" "why the fuck" "its more comfortable then a pad and tampon" "pansy i am not" "draco get astoria" and with that astoria was now in here. "girl" and with that she pulled down he pants. "a diaper need more girls?" "im not wearing a fucking diaper" "your a drama queen" "go away. get away from me" and before i could even think he had stood me up and pulled it up. "put these back on. ill give these to someone" i watched her look out the door. "think fast draco" "think fast mattheo" "careful for the blood" "WHAT" "i feel uncomfortable" "just go out there." "they stuck me in a fucking diaper" "you know what my girlfriend wears those to" i looked to see regulus. "i told you y/n" "your all lying to me" i watched blaise leave and pull a girl in. "do you wear a diaper on your monthly" "yeah i thought that was like the best thing to do" "why?" and she looked at me. "you feel silly dont you?" "theres no way" "y/n was it? its nothing to be embarrassed about" "what kind did you give her pansy the old people ones?" "no i gave her slim flit so it acts like regular underwear" "those are the best ones. youll barely feel it when you get used to it. oh shes crying" "shes not going to believe us" astoria spoke. "i even showed her im wearing one" "shes young. she still has to see not everyone is going to make fun of her for a diaper" "but i will" "she has problems" pansy spoke. "shes self concious?" "very" "all of you here and you dont try and make her feel pretty?" i watched the girl look around. "i mean i could but i usually make fun of her" "blaise" "im in trouble" "my room" i watched them both leave. "my butt feels saggy" i looked at pansy. i felt her pull them up more. "better" "a little?" i was laying on dracos bed with my head in astorias lap. "theres nothing?" "she might have something" theo was sent to search my room while draco was looking at his. "i dont feel good" "i know" "no i dont feel good" "go" and thats all that needed to be said. i had astroia and pansy holding back my hair to the best of their means. and draco standing there watching. "keep looking" everyone else was gone but me, the girls, and draco. i felt pansy rub my back and i just kept my head in the toilet. "this is where i live now" "no its not" "ye" "oh baby" at this point i was crying. "i found some" "you might want to wait" "where is she" "draco can i have a hair tie?" "mattheo can i see your hair tie?" i felt astoria tie up my hair and pansy sat there helping. "nope" was all i said. "ugh poor thing" astoria spoke. i couldnt even throw up anything. i dead ass havent ate. it was just plain stomach acid and bile. followed by a shit ton of spitting. "i dont want to do this anymore" i spoke with my head still in the toilet. "i wouldnt go in there" "you done y/n" "i think so" but the second i tried to stand is the second i went back down with my head in the toilet. "draco?" "what?" "we have a problem." "heres the meds" "okay but uh....you know what just get me a pillow and a blanket" "in the bathroom?" "you can carry her to the bed, but you better have a bucket or trash can" i stuck my head up taking one final spit. "i have 1 minute until i get to a safe space" i looked at them. draco ended up dragging me out. i ended up barely being able to get on the bed. "i found this bowl in the ravenclaw kitchen" blasie spoke handing me the bowl. "heat" pansy looked at draco filling an empty water bottle with really hot water and putting it on my stomach. all the while i laid there drinking water. "hey i found this bottle" i watched theo and mattheo walk in. "what the fuck happened here?" i watched pansy take the bottle. "ill see if i have something better. astoria you got this?" i watched her nod and sit on the bed with me. "bucket" i looked at her. and as soon as she handed it to me it was gave over for the medicine i just took and the water i drank. "i found some...oh" pansy made me take more anyway and covered my eyes with a cold wash cloth. i took a 30 minute nap and woke up feeling a little better. "the meds should have kicked in by now. i handed her the water bottle that was on my stomach. "what are you doing?" "she needs something warm on her stomach and..." mattheo had already put his hot ass hand on my stomach. he was sitting in front of me looking at me. "ill fill it up anyway" i looked at mattheo. "you want to lay on me?" "mhm" "come here" i crawled my ass out of the bed and onto mattheos lap. he wrapped me in the blanket and rested his head on mine. "i dont get why she moved if moving make her you know" astoria looked at draco. "it depends most the time yeah. this time its a yes but shes holding it in" mattheo grabbed the bucket and put it in front of me. "when did she get sick" "its period sick. when you have so much pain your body doesnt know how to process it so you end up just throwing up" i ended up throwing up again followed by more crying. "mattheo how the hell are you going to move her" "i havent figured that out yet" "if she falls asleep" draco spoke up. i did, and i felt so much better. i had pansy in my room. "its going to be so fun. apart from the fact this is the loyal test" that kind of scared me. but if i dont remember im fine. "what do you mean pansy?" "she thinks mattheo is gonna cheat on you" "yeah i do" "you think?" "we know" when i finished getting dressed i had on my lace up shorts and a shirt with a leather top under. in case of flashing, stripping, or someone tries to peak. its a shirt that looks like a bra but its not. i even put on my vans with the platform. "y/n looks so sweet, and we look like sluts" "gonna be the life of the party pansy" since i was the one who knew the people bringing the booze i managed to get myself a shot at the bar. "we have this and this and this. on top of that a speaker connected to a flash drive" i looked at fred and george. "dont worry we will be sober and can keep an eye on you and everybody" fred looked at me. "i have to catch up the with people. thank you for that" i spoke handing them the glass back. and when i finally saw everyone it was casual. apart from pansy and the other girls. i was nervous, i mean i hate to doubt my trust but ive never seen mattheo drunk. what the hell do i even expect. "hes a sitting drunk" "what" "your nervous. im guessing the girls told you something. he sits there in a corner and dances. youd think hed like the crowds but he doesnt" how the hell do we flip in terms of shyness when drinking. everyone was at the bar getting there fill in. "hand m ethe whole damn bottle" i looked at them. half a bottle of tequila. i had brought it to my room to start chugging it. the crowd was freaking me out. and soon enough one of the hufflepuffs in dracos class knocked on my door. "wanna bum" i took a big ass rip of that blunt. "if i light more ill give you more" "your trying to kill me" "i think i would die first" i walked back out and met with pansy. before handing fred the bottle back. "sorry" "i understand" "your a safe drinker." "your eyes look different" "yeah grey" i just looked at them. 30 minutes in and half the people were drunk and the other half were getting there. i could see mattheo and theo across the party with a cup talking soon joining the rest of them. i would see girls walk up to them and they would all smile. i cant take this i asked for the bottle and drank more behind the bar. "you guys are the best" "weed and tequila. we have a re run fred" "close eye?" "close eye for wild child" the first party i went to i made the fatal mistake of being crossfaded. i made 400 dollars that night. "y/n" "sorry i was drinking" i looked at them. "she gets privilege because she knows whos serving" "i dont care dance with me im drunk" i looked to see the huffle puff who i quickly bummed a hit from. "your a real one" she smiled at me. pansy pulled me back over to her. "pansy i am not drunk enough to dance like this" she ended up feeding me more and more until i could barely see 6 feet in front of me. "more?" "no more" i walked over to the bar looking at who i think is fred? "i cant see right. but uh. is there something i can drink i can drink i just need something i can drink. like water. please fred. your fred right? i cant see" i put on my best smile only to see one of them leave. and then come back. once everyone was at a acceptable rate of gone they closed it up for people who could use more. and i watched pansy step on the bar and start dancing. "i needed my contacts" i spoke looking at them. "i think my other ones fell on the floor" i could hear them laughing. it was a little dance for them and i would dance under it. with them but not next to them. i knew my limits. "mattheo is talking to another girl y/n" "give me more" "you cant keep worrying""please" i was given 2 more shots and with that i was done. pansy had pulled me up to the bar. and here came the little hufflepuff. "oh shit" i looked at her. she passed it to me once more. "puff puff?" "puff puff" i did just that. i started dancing with pansy and when my 2 puffs were out i handed it back. "your the best" "dont worry about it y/n" the more we danced the bigger the crowd got the more girls also joined us on the bar. "pansy i think my pants are falling off" i looked at her and my pants which had the string hanging down by my leg. fred was still feeding into my drinking and the hufflepuff was feeding me weed. "you feeling it y/n" "im feeling fucked" we danced for like an hour until the'ass shaking' songs came on. it made pansy mad that i got more attention for having more jiggle, more of a hip pop, and more rhythm. "freeeeed" "here" i took it quick and left it at that for a bit. "i think my contact fell out again" i looked back at him. and an hour later here came the little hufflepuff. "here y/n. finish it" and she walked away. i did. i danced and smoked every little bit of it. to the point when pansy asked it was gone. i watched pansy get off the table and astoria get on next to me. "shes mad you didnt give her any" "im what?" i could hear her laughing but i could see pansy trying to feel up on mattheo. fucking snake. i watched in the moment she tried to kiss him. "he backed away"  astoria looked at me. the more she tried the more he pushed her off. and when she came back she decided to make herself the center of attention. "hit me fred" "you get 3 more" "give em all" i took all 3. "this is so i dont fight someone" i looked at him and smiled. but when i came back up pansy had no shirt. pansy had taken off astorias to. "you ready?" i looked at her. but im to fucked to even stop her at this point. "oo" i spoke bending down to take a hit of the blunt that was handed to me. "can i?" "no" she took one more hit before giving me 2 hits and a roach. she was pacing me and i love that. "you ready" pansy spoke and there she was taking off my shirt and throwing it at fred. he knew fred was the one to return things to peoples rooms or others. i sat there hitting the magical thing handed to me. the cheering went on for awhile. and i tapped out when pansy smacked my ass and made it giggle for everyone to cheer at. "pansy im to drunk for that" "i know. youve had the most to drink and they are still feeding you" "george" he gave me one more round and i threw it back and hit my last hit. blowing smoke into the air. i must admit i dont remember anything to happen besides pansy taking off the leather to reveal something similar but made of lace. and that was when i felt my body be grabbed off the bar. everything was spinning so much. so slow...i dont remember it being this slow. i felt some one put my glasses to my face. "thank you fred" "get back out there tiger" i kept my glasses in my pockets and joined them again. i knew there was sensual songs. all i remember is my shorts pretty much falling apart and i know i didnt flash anyone but there was even shorter shorts under it. i layered up. im talking like whole ass out shorts with clear sides. i had to keep the clear look going. "aw man my shorts" but the second i turned around did a drop like pansy and turned around i saw someone run up and take me off the bar. "hold on my glasses" i went to look in my pocket grabbing the shorts which were once on me. only for when i grabbed them i got pulled away. " i need to see" and when i put them on i saw mattheo. and it was there i couldnt help but cry. "can i have my shirt. i dont like how exposed i feel" we stood where the rest of the boys were. "she had layers." theo was speaking. "wait i want to find that one girl" "what one girl" i watched fred come up. "fred when you see huffle puff girl can you tell her i would like just one more" "shes in the front" i looked at mattheo who let go of my hand. and when i came back i was still blowing smoke out my lungs when i looked at them. it didnt get me until i started coughing. "she told me to give this to you. said you  would need it after" fred spoke putting it behind my ear and covering it with my hair. only for them to look at him badly. "dont look at me im the messenger. pansy took off this shirt from her to. she got mad when you rejected her. all y/n was was pansy being touchy feely with you because she asked for 3. pansy undid her shorts and shes going to need these tomorrow" fred spoke. "im gonna fucking kill her" "mattheo?" he looked down at me. "i need pants" so they sat there trying to fix mine. and when they did i felt a little better. "shes gonna cry" blaise spoke and right on cue i did giving mattheo a hug. "i tried to be prepared for what ever would happen and i wasnt and" "y/n" "and" "y/n" "and im sorry" "y/n" "huhhhh" "theo drink this" "fuck it alright" "go to our room mattheo" "we all going?" "we all are going to look at what the fuck happened" mattheo started walking and i couldnt keep up. i was swaying side to side. only earning me to be thrown over his shoulder. i had to remember he had been drinking to. once i was under and blanket and in a bed i was okay. "so lets thinking about this" theo looked at everyone. "mattheo thought y/n was stripping" "pansy was the one undressing her to piss off mattheo" "y/n is gone" "pansy kept feeding her drinks not letting her stop" "but y/n drank more after" "because pansy hit on mattheo and kiss him" i spoke out. "i did not kiss her though" he looked at me. "what else" i took what was behind my ear out from my ear "oo goodie" i looked at it. "so shes high as hell and drunk as shit" theo ended up taking it out of my hands. "and all we know is a hufflepuff girl" "she was really nice" "okay what else" "so pansy tried to fuck them over" "to get mattheo" "as revenge" they all looked at each other. "we need to write this down" even drunk as hell i can write better then them. so i wrote everything. even what pansy and astoria told me in my room. "what are you writing" "what pansy tollll me ealeier... told me earlier"  "what did she say?" "she said. this is when we find out whos a cheater and whos not. and then told me she knew mattheo would cheat on me and i saw all these girls talking to you and thats when pansy started feeding me drink. after that all i remember is seeing pansy trying to kiss mattheo and grab him. i told her i had trust in your but then astoria chimed in she thought you would cheat to. so i was double unhappy" after sitting there trying to figure out what i said i took pain killers and drank water. "can i have bread?" i was handed a slice of bread which i ate. "so pansy is what?" "has to be trying to get with mattheo" "or maybe revenge on y/n for draco leaving" i looked at mattheo who was focused on what the group was saying. "y/n shes smart" "she knew even when drunk to look for us." "she was aware of her clothes" "but she didnt stop" "she was hoping mattheo would do something" i just kept looking at him and he stayed focused on the group. the more i looked at him the more it brought tears to my eyes. he finally turned to look at me. he pulled me into a hug. "i think she feels bad" "i really dont want to go back out there to get to her dorm" "not to mention its like right the fuck next to the party" there was knocking at the door. "hey mattheo baby" it was pansy. "oh sorry y/n. i figured you know since he kissed me it would be over you know" "pansy" "you were there theo" i watched mattheo look at her. "you kissed him he backed away get the fuck away" "so you" "no" he looked back at me. "told you y/n he would be a cheater. come by when its over matty" i watched her leave and i looked back at mattheo. "mattheo?" "i didnt kiss her" "your leaving out the fact she kissed your cheek mattheo" "she did?" "you were backing away when she did" i dropped the blanket and walked out the room and into mine. i forgot i ended up taking the preroll back when theo was talking.  i left my room once more to get a bottle from george. "rough night pretty lady" "only a little or a lot. i dont know yet" i looked at him walking back to my room with the whole bottle. just when i was sobering up i started to drink more. i even went for a walk outside i knew the party was over. but i sat there with tiny little wine coolers in my pocket. "hey" "go away" "your drunk the least i can do is walk you back" "im not drunk" i couldnt even see who it was. it was dark i cant see in the dark. i casted my bubble the moment they touch me. "what the fuck" all i took was a sad walk over him and he was knocked over. i kept walking until i reached the lake. "looks like fun" i could walk on water i am indestructible. i didnt realize i float. i released my bubble and tried to swim my ass to shore. "i dont know how to swim" i yelled only drinking what i had left of my drinks. i did eventually swim my ass to shore. before walking around more to dry off. i did bubble again, i got scared. and in the end thats how regulus found me. "y/n" "huh" "your drunk, im drunk. you need to find mattheo" i stayed in my bubble. "no" "fuck it alright" i watched him walk away and out came a mattheo. "hey y/n" "huh" "your drunk, im drunk. i found him" "regulus go to sleep" " i was planning on it. but she wouldnt go to you so i brought you to her" "sleep" i watched him walk away and mattheo look at me. "get out the bubble" "no" in the end mattheo did it himself. he learned the release spell. "y/n" "i dont want to talk to you mattheo" "will you just listen to me" "why should i" "i did back away. i didnt willingly let her. your not going to remember any of this im fucked" "i will mattheo" "your on the verge of blacking out" "thats what you think" "y/n just please can we go to bed" "ill go to my bed. but im wet" "why are you wet" "i floated in the lake and i couldnt swim" "inside" "no" "y/n now" "you let pansy kiss you" "no i didnt" "i saw what i saw mattheo. theo even said it" "y/n i didnt let her. she fucking did it herself. i tried to avoid it" i couldnt help but start crying. "your lying to me" he didnt even answer back he just hugged me. "you are taking a shower" and after saying that he picked me up how he usually did and brought me back to my room and there we were in the shower. "dont look at me" "im not" "no im ugly get out" "what the hell are you talking about" "im gonna melt in the water" "turn your ass around" the water was sobering me up from the high. meaning i was only left with the drunk and a lot more tolerable. "mattheo you have to get the top to" "your never fucking drinking again" "hows that fair" i turned to look at him getting soap in my eye. "ow" "run it under water" we sat there trying to get the soap out my eye which only ended up washing out the shampoo in my hair. "fuck it youll fix it later" i was being lathered in body was and then he wrapped me in a towel. "wait theo"i spoke trying to open the door. "your not dressed" due to the fact i wasnt stable mattheo took majority in getting me dressed. "theo" "bed" "theo" "bed" i took a look at him. "mattheo" "yeah?" "im sorry" i gave him a hug. he only put his hand on the back of my head and the other on my waist. "mattheo?" "yeah?" "im sorry for doubting you" "yeah maybe lets not do that next time" "i saw her. i saw you back away and something in my mind still told me you did. and theo saying she kissed you cheek didnt make me feel better" "you do remember things" "i told you i did" i felt him place his head on top of mine. "mattheo?" "if its not asking to go to bed im not answering it" "mattheo" "what" "can we go to bed" "yeah" i threw myself onto the bed and watched as mattheo joined me. "your an asshole sometimes." "am i" "yeah, but i still love you" "i love you to" "but i will cut off" "okay" "i wasnt done" "i know. go to sleep" "okay" he kissed my forehead and closed his eyes. "mattheo" "what" i could hear the annoyance in his voice. "i cant sleep" "try" "okay" 

"mattheo" "shut the fuck up" "mattheo" "what y/n what" "i love you" "go to sleep" "say it back" "i love you to good night" "good night mattheo" 

"mattheo?" "babe please go to bed" "mattheo" "say my name one more time and im leaving" "if you leave im going to cry" "mattheo" "im leaving" "wait i have a question" "what" "can i lay on your chest" "yeah" "with my leg over you" "if it gets you to go to sleep yes" "okay. good night" "good night y/n"