Jeih's Poems

Distrustful Gut

Oh is it so wrong...
to crave what's real when everything has secrets.
Why is that I have to feel this way?
To crave that dominance and rule when all
I ever am is just a wimp against my own betrayal of self.
Should you even trust?
When you can't rely on your own two feet and stand up for yourself?!
You can't hide that from me.
That feeling of having yourself worn out like a paper soiled in water and thrown away.
No deep roots can forever hide itself from the light.
Lies and truth will eventually clash.
In this world where infidelity and insecurity is all that is filled into the public's minds.
Oh is it so wrong?
To be a child at love again?
Selflessly offering every bones, flesh and blood without hesitation
giving until all that's left is dust.
Clinging to faith that the trust
oh, that trust that soon will enter the warmest and harshest of all hammers and flames.
Should it break and crumble would it still be malleable?
Could there a possibility for it to be mold into something stronger?
Or this world and every human around it would just blindly hold on to it.
Like is there really any hesitation or regret doing something so disgusting.
Grazing oneself with the foulest of stench and believing in eerrr love.
What does it matter to have love when you're not true to it?
I despise you lots friend.
I despise whatever it is that isn't fitting to my standards of love.
And that's why I am so fragile and tameable.
I used to be something malevolent and chaotic
but deep inside I knew I still have it in me.
I just filled my loneliness with people who doesn't have the same standards as I have.
But why oh why?!
Do I feel that lost of breath and those deep pounding in my chest whenever I felt wronged?
Why do I feel like being done dirty?
What did I do wrong this time?
why?...