Why do I smile?

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Why do I smile?

I smile by habit not by choice,
the world can knock me down.
But that won't stop me and my voice.
Even sadness tried to make me drown,
so I smiled,
I smiled..
'Cause for me, it makes a difference,
thanks to the people who appreciate the smiles I wear.
They built my confidence,
even though it serves as a disguise.
My smiles are the proof of my existence,
in callousness, bitterness or sweetness.
Whatever I'm going through,
I tend to do it alone.
Although I ask for help,
sometimes its just not enough.
So I smiled,
I smiled...
because I don't know.
How,
to get out of it.
The feeling like,
its a crime to be me,
having no idea what I really want to be.
And then...
I smiled,
hoping that I can escape.
From the cracks of my iceberg,
Whispering to myself,
I can't afford to drown...
Literally speaking,
I don't know how to swim.
I'm not a fighter,
nor a lover.
But I choose to smile,
and make other people smile.
In that way there is,
a reason to wear this.
So I smiled...
even when I got hurt,
manipulated,
tempted,
And cheated.
I wore that smile,
in the nights,
where the stars,
refused to cheer me up,
And the moon hid itself.
giving up is the only choice
I had thought of
during that time.
But instead I was irrational,
I just wore a big curve raise on my lips and cheeks,
bragging my imperfect teeth,
not really knowing why I did it.
But this is why I smiled.

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