|POLARITY| Gojo Satoru x Reader

23.

TW in this episode too babes, listed at the end of the episode.

-------------------------

Gojo's POV

After what happened with Suguru I needed anything, anything to get my mind off of the guilt that was threatening to rip me apart from the inside out, it was almost 6 hours ago when I started looking for her. After that happened; I needed to get my mind to stop thinking about... it.

My eyes are dazed as I look for another rush; to get this feeling of filth off of my hands. To keep the image of him from clouding my vision. And its working, fighting with her makes me forget about everything . Besides, I need to know if he lied to me.

The wounds that are made to her don't affect me.

"Isn't this funny? Isn't this the universe absolutely hating you." Even in that sense we are similar. Life has been out to get us from the start hasn't it.

Unfair.

I block the thoughts that start forming again as my fingers grip the small knife harder in my fist. I am angry, at least I think I am. I don't know what I'm feeling. But I know I need this right now, I need to let whatever I'm feeling out, even if it means there is a terrified girl frozen in fear in front of me.

So be it.

My hand tingles feeling the grip of the knife, was Suguru telling the truth, is she really that unlucky.

I put my arm up as the need to know the truth wins, I plunge it down onto my shoulder, the pain clouding my vision for a second. I cant help but laugh at how fucked up everything is. Is the world really supposed to be this unfair? Her hand goes up to her shoulder instantly, the blood gushing out from the wound. I can't stop myself from laughing as I try to mask the anger that brews inside of me. Its unfair. I clench my teeth together.

What the fuck did we do to end up like this.

I hate fate, I hate what I am, I hate this feeling of being constantly dragged down by things I have no control over. I hate y/n and the way she exists so intertwined to me. I want to put the thoughts about her, about Suguru down, but its not like im holding them, how the fuck do I put them down.

I pull the knife out as I confirm what Suguru told me. My hand raising over the wound to heal it starting to feel relief when my energy plummets, the wound not closing anymore, I can feel drainage. Like a vortex was made in the pool of energy my body holds. Stopping the flow from reaching me. My 6th eyes darts to her hand.

No fucking way

My hands tremble as I feel my reversed curse technique get further away from my fingertips.

No...

I can feel the high I was in plummeting to the ground. The reverse cursed energy that was pumping me with adrenaline stops. Everything I've made fit into a jar getting bigger, the glass shattering as I inhale sharply, the pain I denied for so long, the betrayal I denied, the sadness, the loneliness, the injustice, the way I hate the way my life has turned out. It finally cracks, smashing the self control I thought I was able to have.

Its not fucking fair.

"What the fuck did you do?!" I didn't notice when she came closer but she is not standing on the ground anymore, but tackling me down, she moves quick my arms trapped under her knees, she leans closer as one of her knifes grazing my neck. A drop of blood is already falling from our necks. "Did you do this to me?" She whispers her chest rising and falling rapidly, her eyes glistening, I feel like I sober up. "I could end it right here, right now" I feel the cold blade apply more pressure, making me snap right back into where I am, what I am doing. "The end of the dogs." She bares her teeth as a tear falls down.