|POLARITY| Gojo Satoru x Reader

41.

Gojo's POV

I can't kiss her today. Not when we're both like this. Not when I can still feel my hands shake. How could I even tell her she died? She was dead. When I got here, she was dead. I feel like my mind can't move on. Like I'm still stuck in that moment.

Dead.

I can't tell her that.

God, I still can't think.

Tears fall from my eyes as I remember how cold her body felt against mine, how I held onto her before her body floated up, golden light appearing around her. I'll call it a miracle this time, a miracle that gave her back to me. I choose to believe that whatever sent us here didn't want us to end, not when I haven't told her how I feel. I'll pretend just this once that it isn't because of some prophecy, saving her just so she can die by Sukuna's hand. No... I'll win. It all seems to make sense now. After fighting with Toji Fushiguro, I was certain I died. That's probably because I actually did.

I lean against her hand on my cheek as I breath in deeply. It's warm. She is here with me. My hand comes up as I intertwine our fingers together. I feel like her hand is the only thing holding me together.

I can't let her die.

I can't, I can't, I can't.

She is here.

She didn't leave me alone.

I open my eyes to find her looking back at me, her eyes are the prettiest I have ever seen them now that there are no vows blurring them.

I almost allowed her to slip away.

"I..." I love you. I can't say that like this. I look down at her lips and fight the urge I have to show her, to kiss her until there is no doubt in her mind that the leash she placed on me when we were kids is still there. I don't want it to be like this. Her eyes look at me with confusion as I don't say anything. I can feel my heart ache as she moves back, I feel her warmth move away.

I should tell you soon, before you slip through my fingers.

I inch closer, scared at the way her eyes seem hurt. "Y/n, stay."

She looks down at our hands. "I was about to ask you if I could stay the night.." She says before her finger starts tracing mine.

I smile. She is still her, always looking away, fidgeting with her hands when she gets anxious, only this time it's with mine. "I don't mean just tonight." I don't even know where my words are coming from, I don't think I'm even thinking. "I don't... want you to leave, ever really." I whisper.

Her eyes widen as they look up at mine, I think I can feel mine widen at my words too.

"What..?" Her eyes blink more than they should as they look away from mine.

Should I say it again? "I don't want you to leave... ever." I love being able to tell her what I want her to do. "I have gotten used to you being here when I come home." I breathe in deeply as I move to my side of my bed, her hand tries to move away but I don't let go as I lay down, pretending my heart isn't beating faster just from saying that.

Her eyes look big as she looks down at me. "I...I think I can stay a little more time." Her hand seems uncomfortable, but she can tell me to move away if it bothers her. I'm not planning to let go. the feeling of her cold hand comes back in my brain and I tighten my grip, thankful for the warmth it has. "Satoru. I need to move my hand."

Oh, I forgot I hate her sometimes.

"Don't you have two?" I say not wanting to let go.

I smile as she sighs, using the other hand to turn the lamp off, I don't mind the way she struggles to slide down into the covers with only one hand. The silence feels warm as I play with her fingers.