|POLARITY| Gojo Satoru x Reader

69. lol

Chapter 69:

Gojo's POV

I face the price of power, a price only I can pay. It's almost funny how the prophecy dictates that I owe the universe to lose everything I hold dear. What other explanation could I have for how disgusting each breath feels, every blink a reminder of my failure? Suguru is gone, though perhaps I could never truly call him mine. Now Megumi is slipping through my fingers.

Megumi

His name echoing in my head is enough for me to have to close my eyes, no matter how much I try to understand his decision...

...

I am a coward kneeled in front of my own thoughts.

I am lying to myself.

I perfectly understand it. What I can't understand is why I took the life of his father only to abandon him like this, to have allowed him to be in this situation... because I chose her. He is there, he is trapped, within my reach. And I'm standing here; A fool.

I will bring him back, he will come back alive.

I can't help as I feel my breath hitch at the stupidity of my hope.

How will I slaughter Sukuna without harming him?

I walk faster hoping to leave the thought far behind me, each pace distancing myself from everything that lies behind me, I swing the door open not bothering to knock on her door before opening it, my eyes come up as I see him, the sight of megumi making my heart stutter over the rhythmical beats, I see his eyes, his black hair, the pouty looks he gets when things don't go the way he planned, i'm about to smile but then I blink and he is gone, replaced by his pink hair standing in her office, his eyes are puffy, reddened yet filled with hope...

I am losing my mind... I haven't slept, no one has.

My mind immediately replays the words of Naoya in my head and I can feel my neck tense; It's heavy, the weight on my shoulder tries to consume me but I swallow it down with a gulp.

I need to tell Y/n

"Yuji... I need to talk to Y/n ... alone" I say as I open the door wider, waiting for him to step out, evading looking into his eyes as he walks towards me and past me, the draft his body provoques as he walks past me feels colder... I close the door, waiting a few seconds before gathering my thoughts. "I'm going to kill Naoya. He's running his mouth like I can't rip it off," I blurt out. I watch as her eyes shut with frustration, but it doesn't stop me from continuing. "He wants to seal Megumi in the cube. We both know that won't work. They want to execute them."

"They cannot do that with us here—" she begins, but the floor beneath me seems to vanish as Y/n's hoarse voice trails off, still raw from the screams.

"We won't be here soon," I cut her off, not sure if it's because it's the truth or because her voice makes me feel like I can't afford to blink. "We need to act. The prophecy... you haven't had more visions since...?" I probe.

"No... I felt when..." She pauses her words, a habit she has when she doesn't want me to know something. "I was connected to the curse that was in suguru's body, which connected me to the Heian era. Now it's severed so I don't think they'll be back." She picks up a small paper from a drawer and I recognize it, it's still impregnated with the energy from her visions. "We should go tonight."

"The hidden weapon..." It comes out as a question. But it's our only hope, her visions told us so.

"Whatever Tengen is... we need to find it." Her words fill me with adrenaline, which makes me forget I haven't slept, nor will I, not until it's enough.

She walks closer to me, her hand coming up to show me the handwriting.

-

Castaways,

In the tempest of my divine rage, you were cast down from the celestial realm, thrust into the mortality. For that accept this as an apology, my last deed.

Great evil was created from the exilement, I must quest for you to vanquish evil, wielding powers intrinsic to your very being. Amongst the honored one lies the ability to shape time and space itself, a formidable force awaiting your command, you have the ability to bend energy. And buried deep within the nucleus of Jujutsu's society lies a weapon, guarded by an immortal being, that holds the key to your salvation.

Victory shall only be yours when arrogance yields to humility. Only then will the path to triumph reveal itself.

Embrace your destiny, for in it lies the promise of redemption.

Your Creator.

-

Arrogance yields to humility. The words feel like a sick joke. Is there anything about us that even seems arrogant?

I glance up at her. Her skin is pale, her posture soft—not the upright, confident stance she usually carries. I'm sure I don't look any better. When her eyes meet mine, something in me changes, my thoughts stop crashing in, but the silence brings all the muted emotionsI've kept at bay crashing in—everything I want to feel but can't afford. Her gaze lingers on mine, the worry in her eyes making my breath catch. Inwardly, I curse myself as I feel my defenses soften. My eyes prickle with unshed tears.

I shouldn't be standing this close to her. Just a second near her is enough to make me feel again. I look away.

Embarrassing... pitiful.

"We should—"

"Satoru..." she interrupts, halting my words before they even leave my lips. I don't turn back, but I hear her footsteps draw closer. Her hand rests on my shoulder, and only then do I notice how slouched they are. I don't dare move, I don't want to feel. I let my head fall back, stopping the tears from forming.

I haven't cried.

I will not.

"Satoru..." She speaks again as she comes closer but I turn back to face her, I fight the need to just hold on to her, to put my arms around her neck and feel her chest against mine, and feel like I did the right thing. Like I did nothing wrong, like there is nothing wrong.

"I can't do this right now" I speak slowly, gulping down the pain and closing my eyes to stop myself from seeing her. "One more hour. I just need one more hour of doing something for him... I swear I'll sleep, or eat or whatever you need to stop looking at me like that, because believe me" I take a deep breath suppressing the tears again. "I know just how fucked everything is, including me... I know"

She takes a step closer but I take one back.

"Just an hour..." I say knowing the moment she holds me ill break, i'll want comfort, ill want everything i shouldn't ask for her after everything she has been through because I wasn't strong enough.

I open my eyes as I feel a hand pull mine forward, it's not loving, not comforting.Its what I needed. I look up to see her walk, not looking at me, but I can feel the warmth of her hand as she hold me tighter.

"One hour.."

"One" I respond.

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maybe 5 more chapters to go. 

I have lost myself in school work, but oh man im excited to finish this, if you are curious, this is over 300 pages long in arial 12

im insane for that honestly