|POLARITY| Gojo Satoru x Reader

31.

Tw at the end of the episode, dont spoil yourself if you dont have one.

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Gojo's POV

I most surely don't like her. I can't like her. It's not fucking okay to even be asking this to myself, but how do I deny what is consuming my every thought?

I was already on edge. What I thought was just the need to tease her ended up making me want to do anything she allowed me to do; I just know staying still feels sinful... Shit, I should have never touched her.

I should have hated her when I had the reasons to do so.

I stay at my desk as I hear her switch the light off in my room. I curse myself as I feel the need to go. I don't have reports; I'm just scribbling away like an idiot. But it was already too much, it was too much when I made her legs go around my hips, it was too much to see her eyes inches from mine, to stay outside the room as the water cascaded down her body.

Ah... fuck.

Then she came to me, showing herself off in my clothes, her hair still dripping, calling me by my fucking name.

I hit my head against the desk, trying to stop my blood from turning hot.

God... she has been here for less than 5 hours and I am already... I am already weak.

This is hell.

What scares me the most is that lust isn't the worst of my worries. Lust is something every single man would feel having someone like her in their home. I find myself thinking about how she will react to me laying beside her. Will she talk to me? I hope she does, to avoid the silence that will leave me alone with my thoughts. Letting my thoughts run works against me right now. Am I insane for hoping she'll inch closer to me, to look at me, I want her to...

I want to hear her shuffle next to me.

Unable to sleep because she is too nervous to do so. I want her to be restless. So I can give my back to her and pretend to be unbothered. I want to enjoy the fact that I make her nervous, I want her to have a fucking nightmare, just to have an excuse to get closer to her.

That's what is hunting my head. I am fucking crazy for that, am I not?

I stand up and push my hair back, preparing myself mentally for a restless night. God, I don't want to touch her, not today. Not ever. I feel like I'll go mad if I do. I'll really lose it.

Fuck, I think I already did.

I hate her. 

I make my way to my room, it's dark as I sit on the edge of the bed. I won't look at her. I won't think of her, I won't...  but the silence feels restless.

"You should sleep," I whisper, my self-control slips off my fingers as I lay down.

She isn't responding, but I know she isn't asleep; she is holding her breath. I can feel myself grin because of it. The bed shuffles with her as she turns to face me.

"I promise not to touch you or anything like that..." She whispers.

Ah... if you only knew the thoughts that are invading me right now.

I can't help it as I laugh.

"I should be the one saying that." But I won't say it, Y/n, because I do want to. I know it's selfish. I shift to lay on my back, resisting the urge to look at her. I really shouldn't look. "Would you like me to pinky promise it to you?" I smile at the thought of her saying no.