|POLARITY| Gojo Satoru x Reader

27

Gojo's POV

"Trust is a word that holds no meaning to me right now, Gojo. Tell me how you benefit from it." Her words never fail to catch me off guard. I don't want to ask for her trust, not when she looks like an injured animal, one who has just been abandoned by every single person that surrounds her. I can't ask for trust. 

She wants to know why I brought my plan to her. I sometimes can't even stand thinking about the plan the elders have for her. The death of the elders is something I always dreamed of doing, but she already knows that; she was just the drop that spilled the glass.

"Even if I knew nothing about you, I would be doing this." My heart sinks as I realize I'm lying to both of us. She has a leash around my neck in more ways than I will ever admit. "Yuta was almost killed because of their command, now Yuji is in danger, I can't lose someone else, y/n, I refuse. If I kill them... you won't have a reason to stay." 

"I'll finally be free from you." Why am I even saying it like that? Am I this scared to let her know the chokehold she has on me? Or is it me that is scared?

It's like she is growing roots into my soul.

I need to focus.

"I'll do it tonight if that's what you need." I whisper, hurt by the fact she seems unfazed by my words... I am not sure she is even hearing me as she closes her eyes, taking a deep breath. "I will ask you to leave, go to a place with no signal in Japan, somewhere they won't find you. If they somehow contact you it will make things more difficult for me." 

She slowly shakes her head no. "You said there are loose ends Gojo..."

"There are." There are things I haven't confirmed about the night she was born; I don't know who her parents are. She looks at me with doubt and I can tell she isn't saying what's on her mind. "I am Gojo, y/n. I always get my way."

"Do you need time?" She whispers. Her eyes seem lost in deep thought.

"The plan was set to happen in two weeks. I could go kill the confirmed ones tonight, but... The question of if I got all of them remains." I sigh, trying to think of a way we could end this before the exchange event.

"Gojo, I have decided to believe in you." Her eyes move to mine, the way she looks at me seems colder, I try to not let that get to me. "You have as many reasons as me to want them dead." She gulps as she fidgets with her hands. "But you'll have to trust me... I can buy you time."

She looks around us. "Walk with me..." I catch up to her, making sure no one has heard us. "Your cover-up has been trying to win me over, has it not?" I nod. "There are different ways we could trick them. We can make them believe you succeeded. Pros, you'll get more time; cons, they'll get guarded up. Us together; it's the biggest threat they could ever face..." She pauses like she is pondering if she should even say it. "The other option, which makes me hate myself for trusting you with it. You could ask them to make me... compliant. They won't give you much authority over me because they can't trust you, but it can all go to shit with how they phrase it to me. Big risk, great reward." She tries to smile "Freedom."

Her words circle around my brain... It works. But the possibility of the elders finding out, the way she is using herself as a pawn, it makes my insides turn. It wasn't supposed to be like this. "We could go for the first option if it makes you... more comfortable."

"I don't need comfort Gojo...." My eyes flick back to her; her eyes are cold, her eyebrows raised as she sighs. "I want them dead."

I want them dead too.

"I'll meet you tonight. I don't want them to ask you what we talk about, so let's meet in secret. I'll meet you back in Tokyo." 

She stops in her tracks."Promise something to me..." 

"What is it?" I ask.

"Kill the elders, but leave Yaga to me."

"No...Y/n, if he s-"

"Cut his tongue off if it concerns you... Don't get in my way." She reads my mind and doesn't glance back at me as she walks to what I assume is her dorm.

It's not a bad idea.

I'll cut his tongue off before I hand it to her.

"Will do..." I feel dumb as I wait to see if she glances back at me before I teleport back home.

The bed squeaks as I sit down on it. A sigh fills my lungs as I put my blindfold on. "She is..." I don't even know how to define her; maybe Suguru was right... She is like a puzzle to me. I close my eyes; they always burn after I'm with her.

Do I care for her? Is that why I have been so tired lately, why she always leaves me with a hole in my stomach when I see her? She said she hates herself for trusting me; I relate to that. I hate her too, I hate her so much.

I need her to leave me alone with my thoughts just for a day.

When I call yaga, the elders will make her come to me, but how, what will they ask of her... 

Fuck.

This is crazy.

How did she even think of doing something like that, leaving herself to my hands? It's insane behavior, or is it that she is used to being handled like this. She did say she trusted me...

Ah... shit.

I stand up, looking around my home. I need to clean before she comes; I have been so focused on gathering info this place has become a mess. I start getting the pile of books off the ground and back on the shelves, throwing all the candy wrappers in bins; I'm glad I always order takeout as I just toss them in the bin. I now realize how cluttered it is. None of the furniture I have matches; most of the counters have dust on them. I go to my room, taking my laundry out. I feel so stupid for even caring that she might come one of these days.

By the time I have cleaned the whole house and taken a shower, it's already nighttime. She must be here in Tokyo now. I dry my hair putting the towel on my shoulder, picking up the phone to call Yaga.

He answers.

"There is no way I'll convince her before the exchange event."

"Do you call  because you want us to cross your name off the list or are bacause you are ready to man up?" His smug tone makes my skin crawl with disgust. The question makes me close my eyes with anger.

I can't wait to cut his tongue off.

"Just ask her to do it..." I force myself to spit out before hanging up.

I am tempted to call her, to give her a warning, but we need to be careful. 

They are certainly watching now.

---------

Hi babes, I started semester and its rough, i'll probably post every 2, 3 days. I could post daily but i thinks its better to give myself more time. Thanks for all the support! It really means the world to me you guys enjoy it.