Pain Is Lonely

17

"I want to divorce you !"

I told him straightly looking into his eyes. He was disappointed what I was said. But I wasn't. Because I said that for real. There were no lies.

I can't live with like this. I know that these everything started me. Not him. So I am the one who must to end this.

"Fourth ! I am really sorry."

"Please.... I don't want to hear your voice. Its disgusting !" I said and turned against to him and tried to shut my eyes.

"Fourth, I'm sorry....We can make a child again~~"

"Don't you ever dare to touch me !" I said this words clearly without even looking at him.

"Me and you is over !"

After my words, I felt that he stood up from my hospital bed. But I didn't look at him. I don't care about him.

I disgust him. I really do.
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"We can discharge you in this afternoon." The doctor told me and checked my sick conditions again. But that was normal and doctor smiled with me.

"Is he okay Doctor ??" Gemini asked the doctor.

"He's fully okay Mister. But its better when he went home, he need bed rest more.

"Okay Doctor. I understand." Gemini said and after the doctor left he sat on the chair which is beside to me.

When I about to stood up from the hospital bed, Gemini immediately stood up and tried to help me to stand up

"Don't touch me ! I can go alone." I threw his hands away from me. I felt that he was looking at me. I stood up and went to the washroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I could seen my whole body from the mirror. But there wasn't my child with me. No matter how many times, I grabbed my belly, there wasn't any baby bump. I felt lonely. I cried and cried. I want my child actually. The doctor said that the baby was a girl. My baby girl ! I lost her !

I couldn't even hold my baby and kissing her everyday. I couldn't give her my Brest milk! What kind of unluckiest mother am I ? I beat my chest to bear this. But I couldn't do that anymore. I can't !

After sometime, I went out from the washroom and I noticed that Gemini was waiting for me. But I didn't look at him. I went to the my hospital bed and tried to sleep again.

"Fourth..... Its breakfast time. Get up and let's eat something." He touched my waist to stand me up from the hospital bed.

"Please, don't touch me." Then he took his hand from my waist.

He knows that I won't eat anything from him. So he didn't try anymore. And I didn't eat anything. Because I couldn't eat anything.

I lost everything !

I lost my happiness even I hadn't enjoyed that with Gemini.

I lost my husband even he hadn't stay with me as a husband.

I lost our baby even Gemini didn't love the baby.

But HOW !!

WHY ???

Why he cheated on me !

I was okay with him when he wasn't love with me. I was okay with him for everything of him.

But this !

I can't live with him anymore. I can't live with that kind of man anymore. He hooked with another woman when he has his own wife. I can't forget it. And I never give forgive.

Never !

The lady who called Benji is already pregnant. And her baby's father is Gemini !

He couldn't make a baby with me. But he did it with that lady.

He loves her. Not me !

He loves he and her baby. Not me and his baby. Can someone be this cruel ?
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This evening I was able to going back home after my discharge as doctor said. When we were in the car, I didn't talk anything. Gemini tried to. But I acted like there nothing I heard anything.

We were able to go home before quickly and Gemini's parents already had arrived to there.

But I couldn't walk fast yet. The doctor said that its better if I get more rest.

"My son !" Gemini's mom came to me and hugged me tightly.

"Its okay Son.... Everything will be alright..... Okay....I'm here with you always and stay with you always.." I couldn't bear her words anymore. I cried on her chest and hugged her tightly.

We stayed like that for a moment and then she took me to the bedroom.

"Its okay Son. You don't have to be worry about anything. Sometimes it could be happen and we can try again ...... Okay..."

"There is nothing another chance, mother !" I told her when facing to her.

"What do you mean by that son ?"

"I divorce him, mother. I'm sorry !"

She was disappointed when I spelt out my words. She was shocked and kept starred at me without asking anything.

"I won't asking you why ?" She starting to cry.

"I knew that you didn't live with him happily even you tried to show that you do." She added.

My eyes were fulled of tears but I kept heard her words.

"I'm his mother. I was unlucky to having a son like that. And I'm unlucky to loosing a son like you. But that's okay son. He won't be happy without you !"

"He will mother.... I'm sure he will." I was saying wiping my tears by my palms.

"He will happy with his wife and his own baby !"

When I spelt out this, mother's face turned faded and pale.

"What baby and what wife ?"

Hi❤️I'm sorry for late dears❤️I was busy with my school❤️byby❤️have a nice day❤️