Pain Is Lonely

55

Author's POV:

They go to see their doctor once a week. But the truth was bitter. Very bitter. Like poison. Fourth only had half a year. The doctor had told Gem like that. Gem wanted to kill himself when he didn't want to hear the truth. His inside screamed. Yeah. It screamed like hell.

On the other hand, Gem's mood wasn't good all the time. When Fourth tried to hold his husband he was a bit ignored him. Not much. But Fourth felt it. It was okay when he talked about their Angi or their daily stuff. But he ignored him when Fourth tried to start a conversation about his sickness.

He just ignored it when he came up with it. It made Fourth feel sad. He did need his husband with that. He did want to talk about that with him and talk about their future.

If I say about Gem,

He cared about his wife. He helped his wife with everything. He didn't let him overwork too much. He looked after him very much. He didn't let him be empty stomach anymore. I began to feed him. He was watching his wife.

Yes. Everything of him. If he have his meds on time or not?  If he have a good sleep or not? If he gets tired or not? Is he feeling unwell or not? If he gets unwell or not? Yes. He did think of them all of him.

But he didn't like it when his wife mentioned his current situation. He didn't want to hear them. He just has no need. He wanted to forget them all. But he tells him to have his meds. But he didn't mention the reason.

Fourth had known the reason. But it hurts him. Because it wasn't hiding. It was just fear of losing. He knows. But what can he do? Nothing.

But.

"You don't have to hide anything from me, Gem" Fourth said one night when Gem gave him his meds before going to bed after they had dinner. But his eyes were full of tears and they trickled down from his cheeks. Gem didn't look at his wife.

He tried to ignore him once again. But Fourth couldn't hold it anymore. He couldn't. He looked at his husband with teary eyes.

"Aren't you loving me anymore?"

Fourth asked breaking Gem's heart. Gem looked at him right away. He was sobbing. Seeing his wife was sobbing, Gem's heart... His heart... His heart was just like... Just like... Just like... Sorry. He couldn't find the right words.

There weren't any words in this world.

Gem said nothing he went and pulled his wife into his embrace. To his warm embrace. Gem didn't want to break his wife's heart. Not even for a moment. He only wants him to smile.

"I love you! You know that. Hm?"

Gem said pulling his wife into his embrace even more and more, kissing his forehand. He rubbed his back up and down. It felt so warm in his husband's embrace. It was so warm. So warm. Fourth cried. He cried loudly in his husband's arms.

"No. You are not!"

Fourth said crying in his husband's arms, squeezing them. He couldn't hold his pain anymore! He just can't!

"No, I do! I love you!"

Gem tightened the embrace between them. Fourth didn't refuse. He needed his husband. He cried in his warm embrace.

"Then don't ignore me!" Fourth said looking at his husband. "You know that I need you!!! You know very well that I want to talk about my sickness with you and about our... What will happen...!"  Fourth couldn't finish the words. Fourth said still crying and sobbing.

But Gem said nothing. He just looked at his wife who was crying in front of him with teary eyes.

"You are my husband!" Fourth said a bit aloud when Gem had nothing going to say. Gem's eyes filled up with tears. They trickled down from his cheeks. Fourth saw them. His heart melted when he saw them. Fourth didn't want to see his husband cry because of him. He didn't want to.