"Stuck In The Friend-Zone Again and Again"

"Show Me What Love's All About"

"Jake?" I asked quietly, eyes wide.

His eyes cracked open slowly before going wide, and he sat up quickly.

"Paris!" He exclaimed. "You're early!"
"Only by a bit," I sniffed. "What's going on?"
"I- um..." He sighed. "There's no point sugar coating it. Me and Danielle here just had some amazing sex," he said, jabbing his thumb towards the girl who still lay asleep in his bed.
My eyes filled with tears.
"But- but you said... You said you loved me...." I said, teary-eyed.
"I lied," he shrugged. "I was in it for the sex. But then you made it very clear that I couldn't get that... So I picked up Danielle here. She's always ready for another round."
"How long has this been going on?" I gasped lightly.
"Ever since you told me you didn't want to have sex," he shrugged.

Every word he spoke was like a rusty knife to the heart.

"So all that stuff about missing me...?"
"Fake," he said dismissively.

I bit my lip to keep from crying out in hurt.

"Oh," I managed. "Well, I'm going to head to the hotel now. I guess I'll see you when I get back. We're... We're not a thing. And I guess, according to you, we never really were."

I turned on my heel, and as I hurried down the stairs I heard Jake get back into bed, unconcerned.

Tears fell down my face in rapids.

He didn't love me; nobody did.

I got in my car and started to drive, thinking that it was probably an extremely bad idea to drive while I was crying my eyes out, but I somehow managed, finally releasing the tortured noises that had threatened to escape in front of Jake.

I miraculously made it to the car company without crashing, and as soon as I parked I tried to compose myself to talk to the front desk.

I wiped my eyes and checked the mirror, making sure that I waited until they weren't too red before entering the building.

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10 minutes later, I was in the back of an extremely fancy car, with a sound proof glass window thing between the driver and I.

My suitcases in the trunk, I unzipped my duffel bag to retrieve my phone and headphones.

I plugged in the headphones and slid them on, hitting shuffle.

A Little Too Much by Shawn Mendes came on.

"Of fucking course," I muttered, tears flowing freely again.

"Being and feeling alone was too much to face..."

Damn right.

I felt betrayed, and I felt cheated, and I felt broken.

For a girl who had always dreamed of love, being cheated on and lied to by her first boyfriend wasn't exactly ideal.

He said he loved me.

He said he lied.

Which makes sense, because why would someone ever love me?

----

Every song on that came on seemed to be mocking me; first it was A Little Too Much, then it was Amnesia by 5 Seconds of Summer, Forever and Always by Taylor Swift, Skinny Love by Bon Iver, I Knew You Were Trouble by Taylor Swift, The Weight by Shawn Mendes, Stay With Me by Sam Smith, and most painfully Fifteen by Taylor Swift.

I was indeed 15 when Jake and I began, and I did indeed believe him when he told me he loved me.

And I was 16 when he broke me and everything I was.

When he rebuilt the walls he started to knock down bigger than ever.

He stole all the trust I had given, making sure it would be a very long time before someone else could get to it.

He took my first date, my first kiss, my first boyfriend.

He snatched my happiness.

He stole my existence.

As Fifteen faded out, Never Be Alone by Shawn Mendes started playing, which caused a harsh laugh to escape my lips.

What a joke.

I had always been alone.

Jake was never really with me.

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The driver dropped me at my hotel, leaving me to fend for myself at check in.

I swiped the last minute tears from my eyes, and got out of the car, dragging my bags into the lobby after they had been removed from the car.

I walked up to the front desk.

"Hi," I said unsteadily. I cleared my throat. "My reservation's under Hadley, I think. It's been paid for already by the band 5 Seconds of Summer."

The front desk man raised a grey eyebrow at me. "You're Paris Hadley?" He said distastefully, looking me up and down.
"Um, yeah?" I said, confused.

"I'm going I need identification and confirmation from the band," the man said stiffly.

I reached into my duffel and pulled out my wallet, handing him my license.

Then I called Luke, who answered on the second ring.

"Hey Luke," I greeted. "The hotel needs confirmation that it's actually me and not some crazed fan impersonator."
Luke laughed and told me to hand the phone to the man.
The man nodded as Luke spoke, occasionally saying things like "yes sir I understand" and "okay sir, I can do that sir".

After a minute, the man handed me back my phone, and Luke said goodbye before hanging up, saying her would see me soon.

The man's persona had changed dramatically.
He was now very polite and well-mannered, contrary to his behaviour before hand.

He checked me in, then helped me with my bags and led me to my room on the 19th floor.

He gave me the key to my room, and I unlocked it revealing a very nice hotel room.

The man said that if I needed anything at all to call, the front desk and he would come personally to aid me, making me wonder what Luke had said.

Once I was alone in the room, I dumped my bags on the floor and flopped on the bed.

What a big bed for one girl.

Who's boyfriend cheated on her.

And then I was crying again.

And eventually I got up and ordered room service which I ate before changing into Luke's Nirvana shirt and climbing under the covers.

And then I cried myself to sleep, not for the first time in my life.