"Stuck In The Friend-Zone Again and Again"

"Rip My Heart Out"

Dedicated to Tamwyyn for kicking ass as the role of Alice in this chapter 💕

Trailer above if it worked^

Just as we reached the bus, Luke turned to me.
"What did Dan whisper in your ear?"

"Oh nothing," I laughed nervously. "Just an inside joke."
Luke nodded and my insides twisted. I hated lying to him, but it wasn't like I could just tell him what Dan whispered.
My life would be a lot simpler if I could just woman up and confess my feelings for Luke.

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Shows came and went, the ones at Wembley standing out immensely. I saw Caspar Lee at one of the shows and he did heart hands at the boys and I.

Before I knew it, it was Christmas.
Last Christmas, I had been sitting by my tree with my brother while my parents rushed through their presents at 5am to get to work.

"You understand, right? There's so much work to be done and this is one of the only days we don't have customers to deal with."

I assured them that it was perfectly okay, even though right after they left, one tear slipped down my cheek. Ryan swooped in and wiped it away and gave me a hug, being the only one in the world who knew what it was like. He may not have been there a lot, but he was a good big brother.

I went shopping with Luke for the boys , my friends and family, and his family, then sent him off on some menial task while I shopped for him.

I face timed my brother and his girlfriend Sara a few times while they were staying at my parents, occasionally catching a "hello!" or "we miss you!" from my parents on their way in or out.
"Still the same?" I asked my brother with a sad smile.
"Isn't it always?" He replied with a halfhearted sigh. "What are you doing for Christmas?"
"Liz invited me to stay with them. I'll be sending home my packages soon," I said.
"I can't believe my little sister is all the way across the world with her favourite band for Christmas," Ryan said.
"You've got me," Sara reminded him.
"Ehhhhh...." He said jokingly, causing her to laugh and try to hit him. He caught her hand and kissed her knuckles, making me "awwwww".
"You guys are so cute!" I fawned over them.
"Have you got a boyfriend yet, Paris?" Sara asked me.
"She better not," Ryan said, trying to sound threatening.
"No," I sighed.
"What about that Australian hunk you're spending Christmas with?" Sara pressed.
"Luke?" I asked.
She nodded.
I shook my head. "No, we're just friends."
"Doesn't seem like it," she smirked.
"Seriously," I said. "I'd tell you if we weren't."
"Okay," she said, not sounding convinced.
I smiled fakely. "Well, I better go. I'm about to bake cookies with Liz."
"Well FaceTime us next week, okay?" Ryan said.
"Okay," I replied. "Bye!"
I disconnected from the FaceTime with a wave, then shut my iPad with a sigh.
I stood up and pulled on a cardigan, rubbing my eyes with a yawn.

It was nice to be back to the Hemmings house after the long stretch on tour. Now we were back for 3 whole weeks for the holiday season.

I padded downstairs in fuzzy sock feet to meet Liz in the kitchen.
"Paris!" She smiled. "Perfect timing, I was just about to call you down!"
"I've got a fifth sense," I joked, quoting Mean Girls' Karen Smith.
Liz laughed. "Like absolutely loves that movie. I've probably watched it with him 20 times."
"Same," I laughed. "I can now act it out with props and costumes rather than just quote along with the movie."
Liz chuckled.
"Anyway... So I think we're going to make some old recipes..."