"Stuck In The Friend-Zone Again and Again"

"I Play Guitar"

After scrolling for God knows how long, probably around 3 or 4 Tumblr minutes, I switched to re-watching some of Dan Howell's channel, which I had admittedly seen the whole of at least 4 times.

Dan's videos were amazing, and it was better than sitting in the dark thinking about Jake.

I needed distractions, to keep myself busy. It helped keep the hurt at bay.

Before I knew it it was 7:30, an acceptable time to get up, so I shut down my laptop and tugged off my headphones.
I got out of bed and stretched, rubbing my eyes.
I looked in the mirror that hung above the dresser, raking my fingers through my disheveled hair.
I sighed, giving up and throwing it into a messy bun on the top of my head.
I cautiously opened the door and peeked out slowly.
I took a few careful steps into the hall, shutting the door behind me.
I walked down the hall almost soundlessly, and knocked on Luke's door lightly.
I opened the door and slipped in, shutting the door quietly behind me.
"Luke!" I whisper shouted, walking slowly over to the bed.
Luke's eyes sleepily cracked open, studying my face.
"Hey," he said, voice gravelly from sleep.
He sat up, stretching. "Morning."
I smiled. "Good morning."
He looked me up and down.
"Is that my shirt?" He asked, a smirk appearing on his face.
"Um yeah," I blushed.
"Still looks good," he chuckled.
"It's like a dress," I giggled, playing with the hem.
He stared at my fingers, which were twisting the hem of the shirt and lifting it slightly, with wide eyes.
"What?" I asked, looking down. "I am wearing pants."
Luke sighed with relief.
"Why are you so relived I'm wearing pants? I think it would be a lot worse for me if I wasn't," I laughed.
Luke laughed with me.
"So why are you wearing my shirt and not Jake's?" He asked innocently, obviously not knowing the truth.
"I, um, uh," I felt tears threatening to spill over my eyes once again.

This breakup was turning me into a mess of tears.

"I just... Wanted to wear yours," I said softly, looking at my feet.
Luke grabbed my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes.
I pushed the tears back and tried to clear my eyes of pain.
"You can wear my shirt, any of my shirts, you know that," Luke said seriously. "What's wrong?"
I cast my eyes down again. "Nothing. I'm fine."
My eyes flickered up again.
"Hey," Luke said, eyebrows furrowed, looking me deep in the eyes. "Why are your eyes red?"
Shit.
"I was up all night, remember?" I said, thinking quickly. "On my laptop."
Luke nodded, releasing the light grip he had on my chin.
"You're sure you're okay?" He asked suspiciously.
I laughed a bit. "I'm sure," I lied.
He smiled, believing me. "Just checking."
I smiled.

As I said before, good thing I was a good liar.

Luke put some pants on and grabbed a shirt, pulling it on as we exited his room quietly, shutting the door quickly behind us.
"Well well well," a voice said from behind us.
We whirled around, and saw that the voice belonged to Ben.
He was smirking, and looking at us like he had discovered some big secret.
"What do we have here?" He asked, eyebrows raised.
My eyebrows drew together in confusion. "What do you mean?"
Ben giggled in a high pitched tone. "I've found you out."
"What are you on about?" Luke said exasperatedly.
"It's obvious, isn't it?" Ben asked happily.
When the both of us shook our heads, he sighed, like we were complete idiots.
"You guys did it last night and you don't want mum and dad to know."
"What?" Luke and I sputtered at the same time.
"Luke, it's obvious. My baby brother isn't a virgin anymore!" Ben sang. His face fell. "But wait, don't you have a boyfriend?" He asked me.
I almost choked. Not the time to bring up Jake.
"We didn't have sex!" Luke insisted.
"Yes you did!"
"What evidence do you have of this?" Luke spat, grabbing my hand, aware that this conversation was terrifying for me.
"Dude, you were putting your shirt on. She's wearing your shirt, with no pants. She was in your room this early in the morning. Need I continue?" Ben said smugly.
"Okay firstly I almost always sleep shirtless. Secondly she happens to like wearing my shirts. Thirdly she is so wearing pants, you just can't see them. Fourthly, she came into my room to say good morning and she is up because she's been up since yesterday. She's trying to beat jet lag dumbass!" Luke finished his speech and let out a breath.
Ben held his hands up in surrender. "Okay," he conceded. "But if I find any condoms you will never hear the end of it."
Luke rolled his eyes and my face stayed placid, watching him as he walked down the stairs.
"Why does everyone have to assume we're in a relationship?" I sighed.
"We do sort of act like a couple," he pointed out.
I nodded.
Not that I would know first hand what a real couple felt like.