"Stuck In The Friend-Zone Again and Again"

"Hey Mum"

A/N: I spent 40 minutes organizing the 5sos photos on my iPad I have no life

We danced the night away, the boys eventually getting very drunk and leaving me to be the Mom Friend™ as usual (this is literally me oml).

Around 2AM I rounded them up, and pulled a stumbling Michael off of some poor girl, apologizing for him profusely.

"B-but Paaaaaaaris!" Calum whined. "I wanna keep dancing!"
"Yeah me too!" Luke pouted.
"And why'd ya pull me off of that girl?" Michael slurred. "I was totally gonna get some!"
"Ya'd neva have a chance with ha, Michael," Ashton said, his accent having thickened because of the alcohol he had ingested. "Sha needs a ral man like ma."
"Yeah yeah okay," I said, patting both Ashton and Michael on their backs. "You're both macho men who can get whoever they want."

I pulled out my phone and called a cab, alarmed to hear that I would have to wait 10 minutes for a cab. How was I supposed to keep 4 giant drunken Australian dorks occupied for 10 minutes on a street corner?

Luke and Michael were chasing each other around, Ashton was laughing at them, and Calum was looking at me.
"Paris I'm borrrrrred!" Calum complained.
"Why don't we play a game!" I suggested desperately, afraid that Michael and Luke would run into the street and get hit by a late night driver or fall and injure themselves.
"A GAME?" They all yelled gleefully.
"Yes!" I said, relieved they were interested. "It's a game called Name The Animal! Do you want to play?"
The boys all nodded furiously, watching me with childlike fascination.
"Okay first one!" I imitated an elephant.
"A giraffe!" Calum yelled.
"That's not a giraffe, you idiot!" Michael shouted.
"OOO OOO I KNOW I KNOW!" Luke shouted joyously. "AN ELEPHANT!"
"Good job, Luke!" I praised him, feeling very much like a kindergarten teacher.
"Okay here's the next one!" I told them, beginning to impersonate a flamingo.
"That's a kangara fa sha!" Ashton slurred.
"No it's a bird!" Luke said. "The purple kind!"
"No not purple!" Calum said. "Blue!"
"FLAMINGO!" Michael suddenly shouted.
"OH YEAAAAAAAH," the rest of the boys chorused.

To my relief, the cab showed up just then, and I loaded the boys into the cab.
I told the driver where to go, and he chuckled as Michael pressed his face against the window, Ashton started talking about Wallabies, Luke decided to start humming Adele, and Calum began barking quietly.
"You've got your hands full tonight, don't you?" He laughed.
I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I do. They're like children when they're drunk."
As if on cue, Calum and Michael started hitting each other in the back.
I turned around from my seat in the front and yelled at them.
"Boys! Stop! This is why we don't have nice things!" I scolded, causing them to stop and pout.
I turned back around and sunk down in my seats sighing.
"Older sister?" He asked me.
"As if," I rolled my eyes again. "I'm their friend. Younger than all of them, if I may add."
The man chuckled. "Rough."
"Tell me about it," I sighed again, a slight laugh escaping my lips. "And then I'll be the one getting them water and aspirin and listening to them whine all day about their hangovers tomorrow."
"You must be a really good friend."
"I guess," I accepted. "But if they puke they're on their own."
The man laughed at that, apparently finding my dry sense of humour amusing.

A few minutes of casual conversation with the cabbie later, we arrived at our hotel.
I fished the £50 out of my purse, giving it to the man and waiting a few moments for my change.
The boys, however, were trying to make a mad dash up the walkway into the hotel.
"BOYS!" I shouted at them as the cabbie searched for another £5 note. "WAIT!"
They all froze, standing in a line in front of the hotel waiting for me.
I sighed as the cabbie handed me the bills.
"Thank you so much," I said, handing him £5 back as a tip.
"Good luck," he chuckled.
"I'm gonna need it," I laughed. "Have a good night!"
"You too!" He called, driving off.

I walked up to the boys, beckoning them to follow me.
"It's time for another game," I said as we reached the door.
"Whoever can be the quietest on the way to the room wins!' I whispered, needing a way to keep them quiet on the way through the hotel.
"What do we win?" Calum asked.
"Ummmmm.... How about a kiss?" I tried.
"On the lips?" Michael asked.
"On the cheek," I said.
"I'm gonna win anyway," he replied.
I laughed. "Okay ready? 3,2,1, start!"
They were silent as I led them to the elevator, rode to our floor, and led the way to our room.
I found under the room key in my purse and unlocked the door, letting them all in before me before breathing a sigh of relief.
"Who won?" Michael immediately demanded.
"All of you," I said.
"So we all get kisses?" Calum asked hopefully.
"Line up," I said with a laugh, gesturing in front of me.
The boys all scurried into a line, pushing and shoving to be first in line.
Ashton won.
"Goodnight, Ash," I said, kissing his cheek and pointing him to his bed.
Calum stepped forward.
"Goodnight, Cal," I said, kissing his cheek and directing him to his bed.
Michael stepped forward eagerly.
"Goodnight, Mikey," I smiled, kissing his cheek and removing his jacket.
"You're really hot," he stated before falling into bed and beginning to snore.
I laughed as Luke smiled shyly at me, last to go.
I kissed his cheek. "Goodnight, Lukey. Let's get you to bed."

I took his hand and led him into our room, shutting the door behind us.
I took off his leather jacket and flannel, instructing him to remove his jeans and boots while I turned back his bed.
A minute later, he waddled over to me in his boxers and socks, standing with his hands folded while I got the bed the way I knew he liked it.
I stepped back and he crawled in.
I tucked him under the covers.
"Can I have another kiss?" He asked.
"Alright, but don't tell the boys," I said jokingly.
"I won't," he promised, dead serious.
I chuckled, kissing his forehead.
"Good night Luke."

I turned away, wishing that he returned my feelings for him, and retreated to the bathroom to get undressed and ready for bed.

I took off my glasses and washed off the makeup, removing my jewelry and shoes as well. I brushed my hair and fumbled around with the zipper of the dress for a moment before successfully unzipping it.
I stepped out of the dress, and hung it on the door.
I shrugged on one of Luke's shirts and a pair of pajama pants and brushed my teeth, thankful to be able to crash.

I hurried out of the bathroom, excited to sleep for once in my life, but stopped short when I heard a voice.
"Paris?" Luke mumbled.
"Yes, Luke?" I said, confused. I had thought he was asleep.
"You-you looked really pretty tonight," he whispered. "Like really pretty. And I don't think I tell you enough that you're drop dead gorgeous."
I chuckled a bit. "You're drunk, Luke. You won't think so in the morning."
"I always do," he mumbled before going quiet.
I smiled, thinking that drunk Luke was very kind, and settled into bed.

I was asleep before I could hear Luke's next mumble.

"The problem is you're so pretty you could get any guy, so you'd never look twice at me."

A/N: oh damn.