"Stuck In The Friend-Zone Again and Again"

"Telling Myself That I'm Never Gonna Be Alright"

The first week of my time in Australia went the same as the first day: trying to act normal and happy around people, even if it meant acting a little odd in the process, and crying in the shower and at night.

The boys where completely unaware, and the topic of Jake didn't come up, and I suspected that Luke had asked the boys not to mention it so as not to upset me.

On Thursday night, Luke and I watched Supernatural (I was getting him into it), before we went to bed.

We were going to the beach the next day, so we went to bed around 10, which was much earlier than usual. Thankfully I had avoided the worst of jet lag by staying up for that full day.

I crawled in bed and scrolled through my Instagram for a while.
That was a bad idea.
Jake had posted something new.

jake_roslin: "enjoying summer with her :)"

It was a picture of him with Danielle, and he was kissing her cheek as she smiled.

Though I shouldn't have, I checked the comments and found some very confused people asking about me.
He "cleared it up", meaning fed them complete bull shit to save face:

jake_roslin: "It wasn't working anymore and she was going to be away for so long"

"Yeah, sure. It wasn't working anymore because of your cheating ass," I thought, rolling my eyes as tears dripped out of them.

I hated how much I cried, but I might have been a bit better if I would have had some alone time to recover.
I had found out and gotten on a plane the nest day.

And everything I saw reminded me of him: the flowers that were like the one he had picked for me on our second date to a picnic at the park, the song that was playing in the background when he picked me up and kissed me at the beach, the colour of the dorky little card he had gotten me for my birthday.

I clicked off my phone and set it on the nightstand, burrowing myself under the thick, soft fabric of the duvet.

I clutched the small stuffed bear I had brought to remind me of home to my chest as I cried, the tears wetting the plush of the toy.
"Sorry," I whispered to it, wiping off the tears.

Sadness was the only emotion in my mind, all traces of happiness I had scavenged lost.

And in that moment I wondered if I would ever fully recover from the one-sided war that was being waged against me.

A/N: short chapter because I want to spread it out so it's more *waves hands around rapidly* yeah