"Stuck In The Friend-Zone Again and Again"

"Sorry Eyes"

As with ROWYSO, the boys wanted to wear kilts while they performed in Scotland.
They tried them on, neglecting to warn me I might add, in mine and Luke's room.
"Paris you should wear one!" Calum exclaimed.
"Yeah!" The other boys chorused.
I shook my head. "No, I don't think so."
"Oh c'mon!" Ashton said, tossing me a green kilt.
I looked at it skeptically, but retreated to the bathroom with the kilt and a black graphic tee shirt.
I tried it on, and attempted to style it a multitude of ways, but just hated the way it looked everytime.
"Come on out!" Michael called.
"No, I don't like it!" I replied, beginning to undo the fastenings.
"Oh come on, it probably looks awesome! Let us see!" Calum pressed.
"No!" I said again, growing upset.
I was insecure at the best of times, and with this kilt thrown into the mix all of my insecurities increased tenfold. Add all of that to being tired, and I was about ready to cry.
Suddenly I heard Luke's voice at the door. "What's wrong?" He sounded concerned.
"I don't like it," I said, my voice sounding strained.
I could hear the frown in his voice as he spoke. "Why not?"
"I just don't like the way it looks," I said.
"I know there's something else."
"It-it makes me feel... bad. About me," I confessed quietly.
Luke sighed. "How many times do I have to tell you you're beautiful?"
"None, because I know it's not true," I said, pulling the kilt down and my jeans on.
"Oh Paris," Luke sighed again.
"Oh Luke," I mimicked him, opening the door and breezing past him, kilt in hand, to rejoin the boys in the main section.
"What happened?" Ashton asked.
I shook my head, folding the kilt neatly and setting it on the table.
"She's insecure," Luke commented.
I pursed my lips, and looked away from the boys' gazes.
"Don't know what for," Calum quietly sang.
"SHE'S TURNING HEADS WHEN SHE WALKS THROUGH THE DOO-OO-OOR!" Michael burst out, hearing him.
"DON'T NEED MAKEUP... TO COVER UP!" Ashton sang.
"BEING THE WAY THAT YOU ARE IS EN-OU-OU-OUGH!" Luke added.
"EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ROOM CAN SEE IT! EVERYONE ELSE BUT YOU-OU! BABY YOU LIGHY UP MY WORLD LIKE NOBODY ELSE! THE WAY THAT YOU FLIP YOUR HAIR GETS ME OVERWHELMED! AND WHEN YOU SMILE AT THE GROUND, IT AIN'T HARD TO TELL YOU DON'T KNOW-O-OW! YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL-UL-UL! THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL!"
At this point, I was tearing up. "Aw, guys!"
"Why are you crying?" Michael asked worriedly.
"You guys are just, like, really sweet, and I'm, like, really tired," I said, swiping at my eyes with a watery chuckle.
The boys all gave small chuckles, and Calum wrapped his arms around me.
"You're gorgeous," he said, pressing a kiss to my hair. "Start believing it."
I laughed again, more tears leaking out of my eyes.
"I honestly don't know what I did to deserve you guys," I smiled, wiping my eyes again.
"What did we do to deserve you more like!" Calum responded with a grin.
"You treat us like any other friends, even though you're a fan, and you're incredibly sweet, and you're smart, and beautiful, and you can sing! You're everyone's dream friend!" Ashton added.
I blushed.
"You deserve more than just a pick-me-up song once in a while, but if that's what you need we can do that," Michael told me.
"You guys are the best," I sighed with a smile as all of them encased me in a giant hug.
"Well that's exactly what you deserve," Luke said.

----

Since I refused to wear the kilt to the Edinburg show, there were many comments online about why I didn't wear one.
The comments ranged from "Does she think she's too good for a kilt?" to "I wonder why she didn't wear a kilt?" to "Who cares if she did or didn't wear a kilt? It's her choice."
At the show in Glasglow, Calum decided to set them straight.

"So a lot of you were wondering why Paris didn't wear a kilt to the last show, and are probably wondering why she's not wearing one tonight. She decided that she didn't feel comfortable wearing a kilt onstage, so she opted for other tartan patterned things instead. So no, she doesn't think she's *too good for a kilt*. She just felt uncomfortable wearing a kilt in front of a whole bunch of people," Calum told the crowd.

Of course, the next day, there were still many questions of what "uncomfortable" and "not comfortable" meant.

(@rylee5soslove: what the hell does "not comfortable wearing a kilt" mean? she's so weird I don't know why the boys are even friends with her #ew #SLFLGlasglow)

@Michael5SOS: Paris didn't wear a kilt at either show because she didn't feel good about herself while wearing one. That's why she wasn't comfortable wearing a kilt onstage.

@Michael5SOS: So to all of the so-called "fans" that are hating on her while all she's guilty of is not seeing how beautiful she is, kindly get the fuck out and re-assess your lives.

I chuckled when I saw this, and gave Mikey, who was sitting beside me, a shy peck on the cheek.
Michael turned to me and smiled happily.
"Very strong ending," I praised him with a laugh.
"I think I could pursue a career in writing, don't you?"
"Oh definitely," I grinned.
"In all seriousness though, I don't understand what the huge issue was that you didn't wear a kilt," Ashton put in.
"Especially after Calum said that you weren't comfortable wearing one," Luke agreed with a serious nod.
I shrugged. "They don't know me. They shouldn't make assumptions, but they have a right to be curious. They had no clue I had self esteem issues until now."
"Well they've certainly caught on," Luke commented. "Look what's trending."
I turned to my phone to find both "#weresorryparis" and "#parisisbeautiful" trending.
I scrolled through my mentions, tearing up at how touching and heartfelt some of the messages were.

"@musiquedeparis you're beautiful, don't let anyone tell you differently #parisisbeautiful"
"I shouldn't have made assumptions about @musiquedeparis. I had no idea that she struggled with her self esteem, and I never would have guessed because of how gorgeous she is. #weresorryparis #parisisbeautiful"

I sent out a couple quick tweets of my own.

@musiquedeparis: Thank you guys so much for all of the support! I'm so thankful to all of you who spare a moment to even think about me or the boys, let alone who get extremely kind hashtags trending!

@musiquedeparis: Please keep being you, and never let anyone tell you that you're not beautiful because YOU ARE❤️❤️

"Even when you're thanking people for being nice to you you're telling them they're beautiful," Calum chuckled with a shake of his head.
"Everyone deserves to feel beautiful," I said.
"But you don't think you're beautiful?" Michael reminded me.
"I said deserves," I laughed. "Doesn't mean I do."

A/N: so I've been asked to be the singer in a band? That's kind of cool right? My guitar teacher runs it, and he asked me to be the singer and I think that's kind of rad? I'll be singing Riptide for the first go and I really really like that song and yeah you guys probs don't care but that's a thing.