Chapter 22, 23 and 24 is already uploaded on ScrollStack!<3
link in my bio👍🏻
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He's in my arms!
I'm holding him with both his tiny hands around my neck. And he's resting his head on my shoulder. I can't understand what's happening in my heart. It's like a whirlwind of emotions, a mix of overwhelming joy, profound love, and a tinge of anxiety about this new responsibility.
When Maa brought him in, he was crying so much. Seeing him, it felt like someone had squeezed my heart in a terribly painful and agonising way. It felt as though from those innocent eyes, each tear that fell was being turned into pearls and collected close, never to let him cry again. His cries echoed in my soul, stirring up a profound sense of protectiveness and care.
I was scared, scared of being weak, but today I broke down. Weakness crept into my very core when Aarush cried so much. I want to hate him, but when I look at him now, there's nothing but a tender stirring in my heart.
And when he looked at me and started crying to come to me, for a moment I was so scared that I felt weak. But when Rhea said, and as Aarush came to me and quieted down, it felt as if not only he but also my heart found peace. It was as if our souls connected in that moment, reassuring me that I could be there for him, to love and protect him always.
I felt like hating him, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. He's distant from me, yet I couldn't push him away either. This is happening for the first time in months. Previously, whenever I looked at him, all I could see was Sneha's lifeless face in my eyes, but from yesterday, I've started to see Sneha in Aarush, not lifeless but smiling and lively.
His laughter revives memories of Sneha, and it feels like she's with me, blessing me. Perhaps Sneha's essence is coming alive again in Aarush. Despite my initial resistance, I find myself drawn to him as if Sneha's spirit is guiding me to embrace Aarush as our own. It's a bittersweet realisation, but I can't deny the warmth and comfort it brings to my heart.
But why now? Perhaps I've never looked at him with such love before, never cared for him with such tenderness. It's as if a switch has been flipped inside me, awakening feelings I didn't know I had. Maybe it's because I see a part of Sneha in him, a reflection of the love we shared, and it's stirring something deep within me. Whatever the reason, I can't ignore the overwhelming surge of affection I feel for Aarush now. It's as if my heart has finally opened up to him, allowing me to embrace him fully.
I had lost myself in my own thoughts. I didn't even realise when my hands started patting Aarush's back on their own when I began to soothe him with love. I didn't notice when I started pacing the room, back and forth, gently rocking him to sleep. It's like my actions were guided by an instinct I never knew existed, as if a deeper part of me took over, nurturing and caring for Aarush with an intensity I hadn't felt before. It's both surprising and comforting to realise how effortlessly I've embraced this role, and how seamlessly I've bonded with him.
