her patience and understanding. her virtue of love that fuses and discombobulates the togetherness of a forbidden force of nature and reality she yearns. two bodies, one soul ridden with dire consequences of togetherness; but still they seek to make...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
It's taken me nearly a decade to come to terms with the fact that I nurture such distinct feelings for you. The fact that you could do anything, take over the world and I'd be ten toes behind you in any decision you make. In thinking about you, I imagine a future that I can't with anyone else, a future that brings me closure in the sense of how one-sided this whole situation between you and I will have had become if I ever grew the confidence to send this dragged out letter to you. I just can't imagine myself being with anyone but you, and as delusional as it sounds, I think about the day I can introduce you to my family as my husband, the people I live with, and show you where I come from and the kind of people I grew up with. I think about the times I can tell you, confide in you for all the things I hold in, and how hopeful I am to one day be someone you can confide in if you hold onto anything that hurts you. I daydream about the things, I feel, we could accomplish together as a couple and as people who are similar in ways you wouldn't think, with similar personalities that can grow hand in hand with one another and carry on years into the future.
I hold myself to a standard as it regards to the way I go about allowing myself to delve into the waters of love and wearing my heart on my sleeve and have just barely touched the pool that is the scary oceans of being in love. I maintain my heart, emotions, and my intentions through the integrity of the actions I take to ensure I am to have someone who is down for me in the ways that I will devote myself in being down for them, and looking at you, I find that I will devote all my effort and put forth the much needed energy to ensure that me and you together will last us a lifetime. I've always recited to myself the motto of dating to marry and have saved and excluded myself from the hook-up culture our world fantasizes of in hopes that with you my motto will be fulfilled.
It's embarrassing to have expressed such a desire i hold for that of a feasible future between you and I and in that I have learned to really appreciate the feelings I have for you as something rare, something seldom that doesn't come by very often. It's taken me years to come to the terms with the fact of how deep I feel for you and though it's far to late to just now express the fact, I have found that my feelings are deeper than a simple surface interest in you, or a small crush, but and have developed into something I still don't fully understand even now expressing such detriment into words for your consumption. Having never spoken to you in depth of how truly in love I am with you, but genuinely loving you and caring so deeply for you as if we ever bonded ourselves and our hearts in such a way that allows me to feel the way I do. And though I know the chances of you feeling the same way are slim, I couldn't help but want to tell you how I feel because it's been weighing down on me the closer and closer we get t-
"Florence! Where you at mama?"
Snapped ruthlessly from their haze of nosiness, having gotten lost in the literature of a loveless film that was the life she was living through the words of another. The written language of a woman who's desires came forth in a manner of grief almost; nurturing undying love that had nowhere to go, was unwelcome and unwanted from the reservoir that this desirous woman wanted nothing more than to have and to keep for the very rest of her existence. She was on a mission, determined and disposed to the idea of getting back with a man who shamelessly cheated on her with the mother of his child; still she sought out for him. Each word inked into the sliver of paper having been filled with meaning, rallying with significance and it tugs hard at the beating heart of a woman. She feels for her, her sympathy a virtue of how much guilt and empathy that mushrooms the divinity from the standpoint of a woman who'd also felt this kind of longing and emotional loneliness. For two years she'd been confined to four walls thinking of how different her life could and would be had she kept her mouth shut about her personal feelings and controlled her reckless mouth and months of feeling as though she was a rebound for the aimless longing of a man who calls out to her once again. But far too trained to the letter, the paper and envelope remains pinched between her fingertips, wrinkling under the pressure of the rage and aggravation that infiltrates the woman from the very soles of her bare feet to the top of her head that grows heavy with a storm of oncoming emotions she hadn't the power to control. Her body curls over the countertop of the kitchen island, upper half heavy and far too much for her legs that seem to light on fire with the fury that creeps up her existence from the standpoint of the woman who was the faithful girlfriend this ex-woman of his had so confidently mailed a letter to as a last resort form of communication as all others had been blocked and restricted by the loss of desire.
