Discordance

Chapter Sixty-Six

Holy shit.

Was he expected to speak after this monologue? This was probably the most she had managed to speak about her feelings since the time they had been married and Abhimanyu was awestruck. His heart was thudding and his ears were buzzing, yet he could probably recite every damn word she had said to him and even when he died, this would be the memory that flashed before his eyes because this was going to be etched into his heart.

So stunned was he that he blinked rapidly trying to get his heart to stop beating out of his chest but it was an impossible feat. He had thought that he had made her unhappy with the whole thing about her family but here she was once again upending his whole life with words, words that would be his very end.

"Ahem" she coughed once into his neck and Abhimanyu was jerked out of his daze, especially when he felt how wet his neck was, a neck someone was rubbing their nose into with all their might.

"You know the drill monkey" he whispered hoarsely and with a long suffering sigh she shook her head into his neck but Abhimanyu would give her these precious minutes to hide and gather herself because finally with a few sniffs, she slowly let his neck go, but her eyes were fixated on a spot in her lap and as she twisted her hands there, he could see how much she was shaking. Jesus, he could not believe she had done this. How was he ever going to match this?

Her startled eyes met his when he got up with a jerk before her mouth trembled and a few tears escaped her eyes. Silly woman, did she think he was going to walk away after this?

With a thud Abhimanyu fell on his knees in front of her legs and gently clasped her hands in his.

"I would never let you get on your knees in front of me. You and I? we'll never be equals because baby as much as you claim otherwise the fact will remain true that the amount of happiness I've found with you and because of you would never be comparable to whatever I can give you."

Pulling their clasped hands up to his mouth he dropped kisses all over it in quick succession. "Fuckk..this time you've gone and left me slightly speechless because Of course OF COURSE I'll marry you baby. There is no world in which you and I are not married by tomorrow night. You are my end game and while I have much many thoughts about all that you have said I just need to make you mine first. Because I can't promise something that I intended to give freely anyway...I-"

"GOD I love you so damn much, here feel this" he clasped her hand and placed it over his beating heart "This was your doing but to be honest with you, whenever you smile at me across the dining table, or when you hold my hand without me doing anything, or when you turn bright red and mumble incoherent stuff when I embarrass you, or when you ask me to shut up after I "overshare" my feelings, my heart beats exactly this wildly and out of sync. But if it makes you feel better, you telling me all that you did has given me so much joy that it feels almost greedy to need it and want it all the time but so be it because I am yours, always."

As predicted, her shot of bravery had slowly disappeared in the time she spoke and even now, all she could do was mumble unintelligible stuff before Abhimanyu sighed and tilted his face giving her access to her spot and the predictable little monkey fell right into it mumbling a "mmm" before he felt her lips there. Had she known how damn erotic it was every time she kissed him there, she would probably be too embarrassed to ever do it again, so Abhimanyu swallowed the comment down and continued to stroke her back.

He had been distraught with worry once he figured out that she couldn't sleep because of her bade papa and the phone call fiasco but here she was telling him what she wanted from him and how much he meant to her. She always managed to throw his carefully curated plans, first by agreeing to marry him, then making him fall for her desperately and in totality and now this because he hadn't known how much it would mean to him to hear her say the things that she did. He knew she loved him but he had always been more focused on her happiness, her safety, but to be wanted like he wanted her was still a foreign concept to him, because it all boiled down to luck and how much he couldn't believe that this was his.