Discordance

Chapter Eighty-Seven

She was being ridiculous, but she had been so used to having him around that the thought of him being gone for a few hours was too painful to comprehend "I don't want you to go" she wailed as he hugged him tightly, refusing to move even when her ribs protested. Where were all these tears coming from?

"I know sweetheart, I'm sorry." Him rubbing her back made her cry harder because why the hell was he so sweet and understanding? If he was mean and told her to suck it up it would at least be reasonable and she would stop being so needy but Abhimanyu like every other time took all of it in stride not even addressing the fact that she was emotional because of the pregnancy.

She wasn't an idiot, she knew her overreaction was a direct cause of her crazy hormones but the fact that he hadn't even brought it up despite him knowing the root cause of it made her fall harder for him and in return made her sob harder "And now I have ruined your shirt" she said in between sobs. He had been fully dressed to leave and he had been so gentle and kind as he woke her up, rubbing her back, kissing her hair that she almost wished she could still be reliant on him like she had been after the accident so that he wouldn't leave.

"Monkey you'll eat breakfast and sleep again and by the time you're up I'll be back, you wouldn't even know I was gone." He tried futilely, but she would know he wasn't around, she always knew.

"BUT THAT'S JUST TODAY" Akshara wailed loudly "Tomorrow you'll go full day and then day after and then after and after and I'll be here. Why can't you stay longer? Do you not want me?" she sniffled , rubbing her nose over his carefully pressed shirt that now had huge wet blotches from where her tears had soaked on the fabric. In the same gentle tone he responded "Because I have to train the new surgeon, Jaan. It's good that she's starting because then I can wrap up surgeries quicker with her doing all the opening and closing while I just go in for the tumors." SHE DIDN'T CARE!! All she wanted was Abhimanyu, why couldn't he understand that?

"Whatever. Go. Leave. Like everyone does." The moment the words were out of her mouth, she knew she had crossed a line. Maybe not Abhimanyu's but definitely her own carefully construed boundaries. She couldn't believe that she had tried to club Abhimanyu with everyone else who had wronged her. "Sorry sorry sorry. I didn't want to say that, I don't mean it." she said hiding her face into his neck and pulling him closer than possible as her body wreaked with sobs.

Why was he so nice? Why wasn't he yelling at her, especially when she was trying her darndest to pick a fight and prolong his touch? All Abhimanyu did was stroke her hair carefully "Shh don't cry Monkey. I know you didn't mean it, I'm not mad. Watching you cry makes my heart hurt, Please stop." Maybe if she held him tight, he wouldn't leave and she could keep him with her for longer, she mused, perking up at her own deviousness but before she could tighten her hold on him, he was kissing her head and getting out of her hold, leaving her bereft.

"Sorry Jaan, I really must go. I'll be back before you know it and then we can watch a movie and do whatever you want for the rest of the day" Nothing he said would make this ok because Akshara didn't want him to leave in the first place but she definitely didn't want him to leave after what she had said, especially considering she didn't even have time to fix it properly. Sullenly she nodded, trying hard to not cry because she had already hurt him once this morning and she didn't want to make him feel worse than he probably did.

"Ok. But come back quick" she finally relented and the smile that stretched across his face was worth it, the special one that made the dimple on his chin pop out mischeviously.

"Love you" he yelled after him as he stomped down the stairs leaving akshara by herself with her thoughts.
"I know, I know. You don't have to remind me, he wasn't really mad though, he never gets mad at me and would never get mad at you too." She said patting her stomach, her thoughts clouded with their talk the other morning. Slowly easing her body up, akshara reached for her ipad to at least start cataloguing some of the work she had to do when she was cleared by her doctors by the end of the week and she did feel much much better. She needed to start her search for someone who would split the tasks with her but she wasn't even sure where to start, her brain was fuzzy and it had been unused for so long that shaking the cobwebs off her brain was proving to be a feat.