Discordance

Chapter Eighty-One

The beeping of one of the monitors was consistently in the background and try as she might, Akshara couldn't ignore it any longer and she slowly came to consciousness. Immediately she was hit with a barrage of memories, of Abhimanyu's panicked face, of his words and in that moment, she wished and longed for the darkness to consume her because she simply did not have the energy to deal with life currently and this new information Abhimanyu had dumped on her.

"You scared me." Abhimanyu said from the corner of the room but Akshara couldn't quite bring herself to react to his words "Listen Akshara, we can talk this out. I am okay to do whatever you want to, we have a few options. Your sanity  and wellbeing is my first priority" his voice held not an ounce of affection her husband always had for her and it broke the remaining pieces of her heart. Maybe that is why it took her a few moments to understand what Abhimanyu was saying. Was he insinuating what she thought he was? This sort of confirmed in her heart what she had seen in his eyes before she passed out. He didn't want children yet, he had said as much to her during their honeymoon and now here she was pregnant, with two babies at that.

"It's ok, we'll be ok" he said but again in that detached voice and Akshara couldn't believe him even if she tried. The only alternative was to do what she did best and so she brought her palms over her ears to cover them and from the corner of her eyes she could see Abhimanyu step back as a harsh breath tore from his chest. She couldn't think with her body currently in so much pain but somehow it felt like her heart had gotten the brunt of everything and it was aching like never before, not even when she had to deal with his bitchy ex. This was a new level of pain and she couldn't even figure out what the source of it was, it was relentless and infinite and she was drowning.

"Ok. Whenever you're ready" Abhimanyu mumbled before he cleared his throat once and went to the door to call a nurse. All her emotions were raging a war within her and she was an inch away from combusting into tiny little pieces...pregnant, pregnant, pregnant. The chant ran through her head over and over and she desperately needed a respite from it but the other alternative was her crumbling relationship with Abhimanyu or the fact that her body was bruised and battered. The hits were coming from all the sides and she just wanted a second for her heart and brain to catch up and preferably go back to sleep so she didn't have to deal with the reality yet.

Making her decision, Akshara closed her eyes tightly refusing to let her mind win the battle and prayed to her kanhaji to either make her pass out again or to put her in deep sleep where she could dream of Abhimanyu and his kisses and hugs, where Abhimanyu wanted her as much as he did on their vacation. Where she was still his baby and where they were just Akshara and Abhimanyu, two people madly in love. Now everything was changing and Abhimanyu was pulling away from her and she couldn't even blame him, he had told her he wanted to wait and now the ball was in her court and she couldn't make this decision by herself.

Not wanting to face another stretch of awkward conversation with Abhimanyu, Akshara pretended to fall back asleep as she heard the door to her room open and shut but to her surprise she heard multiple voices, one of which was Abhimanyu's.

"Shit, she was just up" Abhimanyu said and without even looking she knew he was tugging the hair at the back of his neck.

"It's ok. She doesn't have to be up for this. I wanted to take one last ultrasound before you guys go home, just for my peace of mind." Bhoomika, it was Bhoomika! She wanted to wake up but it was too late now and plus she couldn't deal with her friend and answer questions about her wellbeing or how she felt about the pregnancy, not when things were up in the air with Abhimanyu.

"Umm Akshara, Bhoomika is going to do an ultrasound to make sure everything is ok and there is no internal bleeding of any sorts" Abhimanyu said softly from next to her but Akshara dug her nails into her palms refusing to move. It took everything in her to not flinch when the cool gel was applied on her abdomen, but she powered through refusing to give her ruse up this far in the game now. Plus she couldn't bear to look at the scans just yet not when Abhimanyu had dropped this heavy bomb on her head just a few minutes back.